Carrying a lot of guilt

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chrisnsteph1022

chrisnsteph1022

Joined
Jan 13, 2011
Messages
1,008
Does anyone else feel guilty about their condition? I feel like I brought this on myself. And I'm obviously not doing something right to have been flaring for 13 months. I'm gluten-free, but I just ordered pizza for the first time in months. I'm frustrated that I can't eat normal, so I gave in. Now I feel like if I had a bad reaction, I have no right to complain or feel sorry for myself because I did it to myself. I'm also having a hard time quitting smoking and feel like if I could just cut out the cigs, I'd see some remission. It puts all the blame solely on me. I just hate feeling so guilty for being so sick.
 
Hi Stephanie,

Don't feel guilty! I have been flaring for about 13/14 months to and there have been so many times when I was meant to be cutting out food but gave in (especially for things like pizza!) and really paid for it. We are only human after all.

I was also definitely going to quit smoking in July...that never happened either!

Just remember you didn't bring this on yourself.

xx
 
Hi Stephanie,
Don't feel guilty for being poorly. We didn't ask for this to happen to us. We are doing the best we can with what we got.
I hate sticking to my low res diet and keep eating doritos. I know they will kill me but I think don't I deserve to eat something with a bit of flavor and texture?
Yes we do deserve to have food, real food.
Chin up hun, you are not alone.
Xxxxxxxxxx
 
i feel the same way all the time... it stinks. we all already feel terrible enough, we shouldn't add guilt on top of it. i struggle too, everyday. just know you are not alone.
 
I cringe when I see people naval-gazing about this illness, or any illness. This is akin to blame-the-victim. And most of all, it's wasting energy on something that at best doesn't accomplish anything, and at worst contributes to depression and anxiety. I'd consider the source of those feelings, and come to terms with the fact that this was not something you could control.

If I had known it would trigger my Crohns I wouldn't have gone out to lunch at the restaurant where I got the food poisoning that triggered my Crohns. But I can't spend my time thinking about that. Anything could have done it. We all eat some crap occasionally. Most people don't get sick, some of us do. That's life, it isn't perfect.

AFA smoking, switch to the electronic cigarettes - not perfect either, but much less damaging than the ones that burn. I haven't had a cigarette in over 2 years now. Of course, my doctor isn't happy with this either, but, it's progress. ;)
 
CD is a mercurial beast.
One food we eat with impunity.
Another - a sideways glance and we bleed for days.

With my new ileostomy - no more peanuts.
Damn I wish I savored my last cashew more!!

Enjoy those doritis, or cup of milk, or whatever might bring you to your knees. You never know if it's going to be the last one you might enjoy.
I know I'm going to be pushing the peanut envelope once I'm feeling game!!
 
Yeah, these flares really do stink...no pun intended:( I've been going at this one since the end of Oct 2010. Seems like sometimes even the SAFE foods end up not doing well either. Many a time that I've said that I'm ready for a body exchange:) My doctors kinda laugh about it when I say it, but they seem to sorta understand what I mean...
 
Whern we do all we can do be better and still are sick there is no reason to blame oneself.

And it's all good trying ton follow a diet but on occasion we just have to go against the rules. We may feel bad the next day to our stomach but our soul feels so much better.

When I cheat I feel like the guy on tv for the anti-acid. When he can eat all the bad food.

Cheat baby and feel good about it!!
 
You know, I enjoyed my pizza and I'm not any sicker than normal today. Cutting out gluten never did improve my situation, and having it yesterday doesn't seem to be making me worse. So I'm giving up the gluten-free diet. I guess it was a good experiment. Now if I could just quit smoking. Ugh.
 
Yay for pizza!!! I am so glad you enjoyed it and aren't having bad effects from it!!

Have you ever tried the patch to quit smoking? I smoked a pack a day forever but was finally able to quit about 10 years ago (after many attempts to quit with and without the patch) with the Nicoderm (generic one though) step down patch.

Please, please don't think I am judging or throwing stones or anything at all negative about smoking....I loved smoking and if I havdn't had to quit I would still be smoking today...just thought I would throw out there what finally worked for me....

Also, I get the guilt part...I feel it to sometimes...wish I had eaten pizza instead of the raisin bran I ate yesterday...now I have D and blood today :-( Oh well, it was yummy!
 
I've tried the patch, gum, chantix, cold turkey, weaning down, 'easy way' by alan carr (book). I just suck at quitting. I think cold turkey is my best bet. I just have to do it.
 
You know what? I feel like a personal failure for having Crohns. It makes NO logical sense. I know that. But it doesnt stop me from feeling like a bloody failure. I KNOW it runs in my family...yup...they shouldnt have had me. Their fault right? No, I feel it's MY fault. I feel like when I get sick, I am just a loser. I shouldnt get so stressed. I should have done this, or not done that. I cant fix this, so I must be a failure and to blame.

Guess what? I'm wrong, and so are you. What we have to do is think this through logically. Like with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. I dont care if we dont smoke, only have liquid diets, never get stressed, and are practically angels on earth. It wouldnt cure us. Some switch is broken. But, we can certainly HELP ourselves to feel better. But we cant fix that switch. We need more research into this disease.

And I personally think you need more than two week injections to get on top of this and get into remission. You've been suffering for far too long with a flare! I surely wish I could make you better.
:kiss:
 
I'm the queen of feeling guilty about being sick! I'm constantly blaming myself. I shouldnt have eaten that, I shouldnt have missed my medication, I have to stress less. and when I am sick I feel horrible about it because I'm not working and providing for my family or I don't have the energy to play with my son or my house isnt getting cleaned enough.
I know its not really my fault, that I've tried all the meds and had surgery and no matter what it eventually comes back. I've tried different diets, not eating this and that and ultimately for me it doesnt matter. i have very little control over whats happening in my body. But knowing all that for some reason doesnt stop all those guilty thoughts from creeping in. I think its called being human.
I have never really posted on the forum before but I felt the need to post on this thread because I so relate to the guilt feeling and the failure feeling. Its good to read that I'm not the only one feeling that way whether it makes sense or not that we feel that way.
 
My first GI told me "If you feel like eating something, eat". if you have been flaring for 13 months, you aren't likely going to aggravate anything new. Besides, it sure beats the fish sticks and ice cream diet that I lived on for a couple months.
 
I feel the same way. I think it is just part of it. I also have very bad anxiety as well. So, I am super sad and get to feeling guilty when I can't do the things my family wants me to. I can never make plans because things change in a min. I had 0 s*x drive so I feel that guilt. I am so tired all the time and I feel my sleepy time should be for my kids but my body does not agree. I feel guilt at work for screwing over my co-workers over all the time by having to be out. So you are not alone!!!!! HUGS
 
Its human nature to crave what you love. You cant switch it off and sometimes i eat what i shouldnt with the full knowledge it will F me up. Yet i have to do it cos i cant get it out of my head.

If you do it all the time then its a problem but once in a blue moon is good for moral (well when your enjoying eating it).
 
I know what you mean. When I mention a symptom to family or friends they usually ask 'what have you eaten?' or say 'you have done too much'! Oh - so it is my fault - I must have done something wrong then. Even my next surgery is my fault - apparently I am only having more surgery because I told the surgeon my symptoms. Silly me - I have actually postponed it because of this too. My head tells me I wouldn't be having surgery if the surgeon didn't think it necessary but my self esteem is so low that I don't know what to do now. Things are getting worse and I can't even be bothered. Oops sorry I am having a good moan xxx
 
It's not your fault! Don't let anyone tell you differently. I always feel guilty when my fiancee' wants to go do something and I feel too exhausted or just not feeling well enough to go so I just get it in my head that she should have someone that is healthy enough to have fun with her, but the people in our lives who care about us understand and stick by us reassuring us that we cannot control things like crohns.
 
All the time. Especially when I have to miss work, a social event or even just hanging out with friends ): I tend to compare myself to people who aren't sick and get down on myself for not being "good enough". I put the quote in my signature to remind me to be positive.
 
Seaofdreams- I love your quote by the way!

I also get the guilty feeling. I did it today actually and cried for a half hour, and complained I have more bad days than good days right now. This is frustrating for all of us. I'm trying so hard to work part time and go to school full time and it's very difficult and I stress over it!
 
I stress over being a wife and a Mum but forget I am also a person in my own right.
I am me and I am very poorly.
Yes so on occasion i eat the wrong thing but i am only human.
I need to moan and groan about it to someone every now and then. I know it doesn't change anything but it makes me feel better for a while.
I also compare myself to other people. When I catch myself doing it it makes me mad because I am who I am and shouldn't feel like I need to compare to others but I do.
 
I had a woman once tell me that I must have wanted to be sick - I almost brained her!!!!:ymad:

Eating the wrong food on the odd occasion will not make your Crohns worse - it might exacerbate your symptoms temporarily, but it won't affect the course of the disease. So try not to feel guilty about it - you've got enough to cope with already. :ghug:
 
I feel guilty all the time and I can't seem to quit smoking either!! I know the doc says it would help so much but honesty sometimes it seems like the only thing that makes me feel better! I have definitely cut back on the cigarettes but can't seem to completely stop. :/
 
I haven't been able to quit smoking. But I have cut down to 5 cigs a day. I have always felt somewhat guilty about having this disease...... like I brought it on myself. So I have to catch myself when I get like that and quit the " stinkin thinkin " as my son says. Keeping your spirits up and trying to stay positive does make a difference in how I feel overall. I have had this disease for over ten years and have had multiple surgeries. Once in awhile I still get in a funk but I know what is right for my body and what is wrong. Pizza once in awhile is worth the payback..... smoking helps me relax and cope. W all have our. Own do's and fonts.
 
I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday about the smoking. She prescribed Chantix for me. I tried it years ago and it didn't work, but I'm giving it another shot.
 
My father used Chantix for a while. It seemed to help him a good bit for a long time. He had some crazy dreams while on it though!!
 

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