Children, stoma's and school

[penguin]

My daughter, aged 4, has a MicKey button gastrostomy stoma, and has had surgeries which stop her being sick (which mean she cannot burp too) and also to let her stomach empty faster.

She is due to start school in September, and so far through preschool she has dealt amazingly with having a stoma and a button, as she has done all her incredible little life (she's had the stoma since since she was 9 months old). She acts, understands, and feels emotionally like any other child her age, but knows she is different because of the stoma. Her preschool has only a fraction of the kids she will encounter at school and I'm so worried about how she will cope with it, and also how other children are going to respond to her, as they will see her stoma when she changes for PE each week.

She knows it's her special button and that it's special because it kept her alive, but it doesn't stop me worrying about teasing or stressful situations that may start to occur in a school, which may make her feel left out or isolated.

I know she may be a lot younger than many of the children who have/had stoma's on this site, but any advice on how you or your child dealt with it at school would be greatly appreciated. There aren't many kids her age with stoma's that aren't going to a SN school in this area so there isn't a lot of support available for us.

Thanks in advance

 

[kossy]

Bless your daughters heart. She is a trooper. I agree with Crohn's mom and believe the "judgmental" phase hasn't started quite yet.
I didn't have a stoma back when I was her age. But I did have Crohn's. Most of the kids thought I was cool because I could just get out of my seat anytime I wanted and leave the room.
I think one of the biggest parts my parents did for me at that age was knowing all my teachers and school administrators and let them know what I have, what it does to me, and what I need, and when I need it. I never got to much flack from kids. I did however from sub teachers that didn't know any better.

 

[penguin]

Thanks hon, I know I'm biased, but she really is the sweetest, she's very tiny for her age, long blonde hair, big bright blue eyes and a smile that could melt butter. Her courage and strength is just amazing for her age.

I hope you're right too the few children who have noticed it at preshool were intregued but didn't say much, and the teacher suggested nicely to put it away so it doesn't get hurt.

I think it's just all a bit unexpected for me too, I'd never really thought that she might not get well enough to have it removed before she started school (probably because I refused to acknowledge it), yet here it is all of a sudden! They grow up so fast dont they :hug:

 

[penguin]

Thanks kossy, luckily the new teachers have been quite good and have got as much information as they can about all of her problems and what situations might occur - she has a fair few dashes to hospital and situations when she needs immediate medical attention without notice which will have to be dealt with at school.

I guess we won't know till we get there... I think I'm more scared than she is

 

[kossy]

I remember telling my mom to not to worry about me and that I will be ok. She told me that it's her job as a parent to worry about her babies.
Last summer my 4 year old neice was teaching me how to do a cartwheel. She notice my ostomy bag and asked what it was. I told her that I had sick tummy and when I wear it it keeps me healthy. She paused for a second and told me.. 'well never take it off then!' and she just carried on about something random and hasn't given it a second thought since. Being the same age as your daughter she didn't judge me at all. Plus most of my firends that have kids know I have a bag and know it's different but never thought or said anything to me or their parents about it. So I am sure she'll be just fine.

 

[DustyKat]

Awww Penguin, bless her heart...:hug:

As the others have mentioned, the other children are young as well and curiosty is much more a part of their make up at that age.

Your daughter sounds like an absolute darling and if she is confident and comfortable with it then that will be projected to the other children and they won't see it as a big deal. I think she will handle things just fine.

(((hugs))) to you Mum because I know this will be a tough time for you...:hug:

Much love, :Karl:
Dusty. xxxxxxxx

 

[Dexky]

Thanks hon, I know I'm biased, but she really is the sweetest

It isn't bias if it's true, Penguin!!

I agree with the others. The other kids will ooh and aah over it for a few days and then they'll think nothing of it. As they grow up together, should she have to keep it longer, they'll probably become protective of her against the uninformed kids she's bound to run across.

 

[Karissa]

I've never dealt with a stoma, but your daughter sounds truly incredible! Just wanted to let you know that you are doing an amazing job!

-Karissa