- Joined
- Jun 14, 2011
- Messages
- 9
There's no question that I'm overweight and could do to lose around twenty pounds. I'd still be a bit out of the "ideal range" in terms of BMI but I'd feel better about myself. I mean is it too much to ask that if I can't feel good than maybe I could at least look good?
Earlier this year I had to step out of college because of my health. School made my autonomic dysfunction so much more intense, I couldn't study in the state it put me in. Well when I left I was at the ideal BMI for 5'1 at 138 pounds.
I am aware that when one has a crash with Dysautonomia it can result in weight loss almost exactly like how some loss weight with a stomach flare. You get nauseous or your stomach hurts and so on and so forth. I didn't have stomach issues with my crash so i just waved the weight loss off as the walk to my classes everyday. Granted getting to those classes made me sick, but I looked fabulous and my weight had never been better in terms of being on target.
Suffice it to say those first two months at home I was bedridden for the most part. So when I started to notice the pounds inching up I figured it was because a) I really stopped with the physical activity, wasn't making myself sick by exercising and b) the food at school sucked so I didn't eat nearly as much as I had been eating at home.
So I started walking around the neighborhood trying to get some sort of physical activity that was equivilant of what I did at school. I had already gone off a ton of medication that could cause weight gain as it turned out that a lot of it was making me feel crappy. I also improved my diet, I cut out all the unneeded sugar and for the most part everything else that would make me feel guilty after eating it. Frustratingly all of this did nothing, I just kept gaining.
So after five months and more than 20 pounds later I can honestly laugh in someones face when they say my weight is something I can control on my own.
Even now more than 20 pounds overweight I don't seem it, I'm quite baffled really. I look rather good considering what I've gained. That's part of the issue also, I look good therefore no one else seems fussed to address this. When I say this I mean doctors.
I've talked to my cardiologist because it does seem like this weight may be a result of something going on there. She waved it off though. I really get the impression that she'd only do something about that once it becomes a problem in her eyes. Why should we even let it get that far if we have the ability to nip it in the bud?
I suppose since it's not noticable to others it shoudn't bother me as much as it does, but I can't help it. Others may not be aware of it, but I am! It would seem that as a result my selfesteem took a nose dive.
It's also frustrating because in the past I can honestly say that when my weight had gone down was when I wasn't focusing on it. I can't seem to get myself to turn a blind eye to it this time though. In fact I know I won't be able to stop fixating until I figure out the reason behind this weight gain.
I do kinda blame today's society for the impact this has had on my self image, I'm not going to lie about that, perhaps I wouldn't feel so bothered if society's view wasn't so warped because let's face it the image we are fed by the media in regards to how people look, nobody looks like that! Honestly I'm beyond willing to settle with just being close to an "ideal range" with my BMI and not having to worry that what I weigh could potentially come back to bite me in the ass in further down the line.
Earlier this year I had to step out of college because of my health. School made my autonomic dysfunction so much more intense, I couldn't study in the state it put me in. Well when I left I was at the ideal BMI for 5'1 at 138 pounds.
I am aware that when one has a crash with Dysautonomia it can result in weight loss almost exactly like how some loss weight with a stomach flare. You get nauseous or your stomach hurts and so on and so forth. I didn't have stomach issues with my crash so i just waved the weight loss off as the walk to my classes everyday. Granted getting to those classes made me sick, but I looked fabulous and my weight had never been better in terms of being on target.
Suffice it to say those first two months at home I was bedridden for the most part. So when I started to notice the pounds inching up I figured it was because a) I really stopped with the physical activity, wasn't making myself sick by exercising and b) the food at school sucked so I didn't eat nearly as much as I had been eating at home.
So I started walking around the neighborhood trying to get some sort of physical activity that was equivilant of what I did at school. I had already gone off a ton of medication that could cause weight gain as it turned out that a lot of it was making me feel crappy. I also improved my diet, I cut out all the unneeded sugar and for the most part everything else that would make me feel guilty after eating it. Frustratingly all of this did nothing, I just kept gaining.
So after five months and more than 20 pounds later I can honestly laugh in someones face when they say my weight is something I can control on my own.
Even now more than 20 pounds overweight I don't seem it, I'm quite baffled really. I look rather good considering what I've gained. That's part of the issue also, I look good therefore no one else seems fussed to address this. When I say this I mean doctors.
I've talked to my cardiologist because it does seem like this weight may be a result of something going on there. She waved it off though. I really get the impression that she'd only do something about that once it becomes a problem in her eyes. Why should we even let it get that far if we have the ability to nip it in the bud?
I suppose since it's not noticable to others it shoudn't bother me as much as it does, but I can't help it. Others may not be aware of it, but I am! It would seem that as a result my selfesteem took a nose dive.
It's also frustrating because in the past I can honestly say that when my weight had gone down was when I wasn't focusing on it. I can't seem to get myself to turn a blind eye to it this time though. In fact I know I won't be able to stop fixating until I figure out the reason behind this weight gain.
I do kinda blame today's society for the impact this has had on my self image, I'm not going to lie about that, perhaps I wouldn't feel so bothered if society's view wasn't so warped because let's face it the image we are fed by the media in regards to how people look, nobody looks like that! Honestly I'm beyond willing to settle with just being close to an "ideal range" with my BMI and not having to worry that what I weigh could potentially come back to bite me in the ass in further down the line.
