Depressed with Crohns

[phil87]

Hi, my name is Phil, I'm a 20 year old student and I live just outside of Toronto, ON.

Like many of you I was diagnosed with Crohns. I was 14. As a teenager through highschool I lived with the disease pretty immaturely. I lived my life how I wanted and usually didnt take medication and ignored dietary methods. I didn't really know the seriousness of the disease until now. I'd never expect to see this whole community of people (like this forum) coming together with people who have run into this life-changing disease.

Anyways, on Jan. 23 of 2008, I was admitted into the hospital for a severe blockage in my small intestine because of the disease. A few days later I had surgery whereby a piece of my small intestine was removed. (Resection)

I started having bowel movements a week later and was discharged from the hospital at the beginning of February.

Unfortunately, on Feb. 11th, my surgical incision was infected and I woke up one morning with leakage all over my body and bed...I had no clue what it was and this was a major setback to me because I thought I was finally getting better.

I am still writing this with the wound in my stomach. (aprox. 5cm long, 2cm wide and 1cm deep) It's been over three weeks since I had home nurses pack and dress the wound but I don't see any recovery or signs of healing. I still feel pain in the wound and it leaks alot, sometimes its green and has an odor.

Right now I feel sad and depressed with myself. It feels like I'm never going to get better or this will never heal because all I want to do is get on with my life. (go out with friends, and back to school) My mom tells me to think positive but I usually find myself crying by myself in the basement...I feel really alone down here and I dont think its going to change.

I hope someone out there is watching over me because I could really use an angel right now.

Thank you for reading.

 

[BWS1982]

I can relate to the hopelessness. I hear the same thing from others hoping to help the spirits, I guess we all need to hear it but even then it's hard. I can only relate to having the disease, not the surgery, but I can just say to hang in there, we may seem like faceless entities on a computer monitor but we're real people with the same disease and can relate deeply. Support here is a great resource, even though I'm new here (and relatively new to the disease, only 18 months), I've felt a collaborative support system here between the members and everyone seems to lift the next person up.

 

[D Bergy]

Hello Phil, and welcome to the forum.

I think the drainage and lack of healing is not a very good sign. You might want to see the doctor and get that cleaned out good, and maybe get some antibiotics.

I had a little drainage after I was almost all healed. Just a little infection that came out before the last bit of my incision would close up. Yours sounds like it is currently infected and may need some help in healing.

We can live a pretty normal life, in many instances, but you really can't afford to ignore it. That will just guarantee more surgeries and problems down the road.

It can be depressing having this disease. I look at it as a challenge. Not one I would have picked, but one I can over come. I truly believe the first thing necessary in improving our condition is to accept that we have it. Depressing as that may be.

After that, we have to decide what we are going to do about it. There are any number of options here, but ignoring the disease is in reality a decision to let it progress until it does become a major obstacle. The better time to treat it is now while you have most of your guts intact. Once they cut out several feet you can't go back to normal, ever.

I am not trying to scare you, but you need to think about how to handle this. You already tried ignoring the disease, and that has not worked very well. The good news is once you are healed up, you have a second chance to do things differently. Don't miss the opportunity. Crohn's forces us to develop self discipline. That can come in very handy in the real world also.

I hope you can heal up quickly. Keep us posted.

Dan

 

[Kev]

Yeah, Phil.. welcome to the forum. Think your story is a wake-up call for those who opt to ignore the disease.. (common amongst both young N old, believe me).

Anyway, post op infections, drainage, openings, etc., are not unheard of. Think it really stems from the nature of the op., the location, AND because lots of foks who have these are taking immuno suppressors. How can your body heal nice and fast if your immune system is compromised, or you're taking pills to lessen it. Time to call in the troops... hound your surgeon, or your GI, even your GP. I know the thought of possibly another surgery to correct the first sounds like sheer lunacy.., (just a remote possibility, but it's for the experts to decide, OK?)
BUT (like Dan said) you can't ignore this disease, or it's complications. Didn't you already learn that lesson the 1st time? Do you need another reminder? It can HAPPEN... just continue to sit back and ignore this present situation. Your sadness, depression... those aren't helping.. they aren't making you better. If you turn those into 'ANGER' at the illness.. ''MOTIVATION" to doing something about it.. "ACTION" into getting this fixed.. seen to.. "RESULTS"... Well, you get the idea. Sitting in the basement crying is not going to get you where you want to be... You know that.. you have to accept it AND do something positive.

 

[TammySue62]

Hi Phil
We are almost neighbors.I am from Hamilton.
It sounds to me that your incision is infected.That happened to me.It turned green and had an odor also. Mine was infected.Go back to your DR. ASAP

It took me and my body about a good 8 wks. or more to start healing.I could hardly get outa bed or walk up and down the stairs the pain was so bad.But you have to keep pushing yourself to walk and move around. Thats the only way that your gonna get your body to heal quick.Sitting around in the basement and salking about it and asking why me isnt gonna heal you faster either.I just say to myself we are stuck with this roller coaster of a disease when there are a lot of other people way worse off then us.Like I would not want to be in my brothers shoes.He had a stroke(at a very young age)and 3 brain anurizems (sp?)survived that and has been in a wheelchair( because the stroke left his right side of his body paralyzed )at a nursing home.He cant remember most years.But he knows what happened and has excepted his condition.
My point is the sooner you acknowledge this disease the sooner your mind and body will heal.I mean you are still a young man.You have the rest of your life to learn and live with this disease.Yes it can be very depressing(i still have my bouts of depression)but you can control it dont let it control you.
Go see your Dr. ASAP
Goodluck and keep us posted

 

[Keara07]

Hi Phil - Welcome.

I hear you for aure and I am newly dx'd only but now know have been living with it for some time....

Def go see about the incision (and this from a girl who typically never goes in unless it's beyond serious)...I have had two infections from other sugeries and it sounds bang on and trust me, you don't want to mess with it as it can spread into blood etc and then the nasties really start. Have you had a fever at all?

CD certainly sucks, for sure, but you can't let it control you. I am goinf through the rambult of emotions every day - and when it goes bad, sure, it makes me emotionally the titanic, but I know deep down it's better than the alternative - there's a thread on here about what keeps you motivated/happy/ in bad times. People are sharing some good stuff. For me, it's my family.

Best wishes, see a doc, and take good care of yourself!

 

[phil87]

Hey guys,

Thanks for the advice, I'm going to check out these boards more often, there are some pretty interesting topics like some of you have mentioned.

Im going to make an app. with my doctor asap and get through this. I'm glad to here its an infection instead of something worse because there ARE worse things.

Thanks,

-Phil

 

[soupdragon69]

Hi Phil,

Well done you for having the courage to post. Its always difficult taking the first step in something new but now you know we welcome you to the forum with open arms eh?

As you will have seen there are all age ranges and conditions/levels of bowel disease here so you will be able to pick all sorts of brains and contribute too. Dont ever think your thoughts arent valued - thats what makes this forum special we all do care for each other here and you can add to that too!

Am very glad you are going to get things reassessed again. Its always good to push forward as some of the guys have said rather than sitting and stewing in your own juice at home and withdrawing.

It can take some considerable effort to get back up off the floor mentally and emotionally - we have all been there. So allow us to give you a hand up ok?

Keep going, keep asking, keep fighting and on the days you cant then rest - remember he to runs away lives to fight another day! So no matter how hard it is to pull the handbrake on do it when you need to and on your good days tell us about those too and have some fun!

You will get there. Just take each day as it comes and remember you are not alone!

Thinking of you.

 

[phil87]

Hey,

Thanks for the support BWS1982, D Bergy, Kev, TammySue62, Keara07, soupdragon69, "remember he to runs away lives to fight another day" that is so true. I think if I acted older about my situation back when I was diagnosed I wouldnt be in the situation I am in now. So now im really fighting head on.

My nurse today agreed with me that the wound is infected locally (no fever or redness around the wound) She suggested to my surgion that I go on oral antibotics and some sort of packing with silver in it that also has some sort of disintectant.

She also suggested using VAC therapy on the wound. Has anyone that you know of experienced this VAC on a surgical wound? Has it worked in their favour or am I better off letting the wound heal without this type of therapy?

Thank you for the support

-Phil

 

[BWS1982]

I cannot comment on your question but I'm glad to hear they are addressing the issue and there's a plan.

 

[soupdragon69]

Hi Phil,

I work with wounds a fair bit and have input from an tissue viability specialist colleague where I work. She was telling me research has proven silver is the latest thing for healing, but at the end of the day it still relies on your ability to heal yourself too and helps by cutting down on microbes that are to do with infection.

As for VAC pumps yes they work amazingly well. I have seen wounds that have been open to bone completely heal to give you an example. They basically put a special sponge into the wound and seal it all in with a sort of biofilm. In the centre of the film they make a hole which a tube fits over and applies gentle suction to the area making the sponge shrink. This also allows any rubbish or ooze to be got rid of into a little pot on the side of the machine that applies the suction. Draw backs to it are you can move around a bit as it generally will run on battery but does need mains supply - although there may be newer versions on the market I haven't seen yet. Also you are attached 24/7 to the pump except for dressing changes. It means the tissues are encouraged to heal you from the inside out and to do so effectively. There can also be a low "hum" from the pump because it is an electrical applicance as it applies suction intermittently to the area at the settings programmed into it.

If you can tolerate the above and they think it is worthwhile going down the VAC route then go for it is my thought. It really is a great wound healer in my own experience and that of colleagues including the tissue viability colleague I mentioned earlier as she uses it for patients regularly. It basically depends on the type and depth and size of wound although the foam can be cut to size and shape.

Hope that helps a little and makes sense. Glad you are on the upturn now too. Keep going!

 

[D Bergy]

Silver is used on bandages and in other antiseptic applications. Silver containers for water have been used for thousands of years.

It went by the wayside for awhile when antibiotics and other antiseptics came on the scene. Glad to see it is being rediscovered.

Dan

 

[Digits]

Yeah, my Bandaids have Silver on them, lol.

Its good that you are takingcare of the physical aspects of the infection, but remember also your mental health. Depression is bad, and when you top a crohnic disease on top of it, it seems to triple the load on you, especially if anything goes wrong.

If you are someone who isnt embaresed to go to a psychologist, do it. they can help you either by natural means, or by pharamcuetical means, as i am. I am 20 also, and this is a horrible time in life for depression, and i have been on anti depressants since i was diagnosed, my doc just did it automatically, knowing all the stresses of life would just add on.

 

[Jeff D.]

I wish you the best of luck. I had leakage for a while and it was such a terrible thing to go through. I have dealt with depression anxiety since being diagnosed which was when I was 14 as well. Take care of yourself and God bless.

 

[Kev]

Yeah, that VAC system sounds like a medical marvel. Sure beats surreptiously buying oversized feminine products (should have seen the looks that I got when I did so... esp. since I was buying the brandless generic cheapies ones.. women who saw me thought that I was buying for the missus, and being cheap to boot).

As for depression.. (and to anyone who feels 'defensive' at the mere mention of the phrase - like I did the first time it was expressed by a doc in relation to my situation at the time - relax. People aren't suggesting that you possibly are 'clinically' depressed to the point where they have to activate a suicide watch).
Hey, typically I'm a light hearted, easy going, laugh at myself 1st then the rest of the world later sort of bloke. This damned disease had knocked me for one major loop. I told the docs who suggested it that I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.. which WAS true! But the other truth, that I was too close to the situation to REALLY SEE, was that my 'sick N tired' physical situation WAS NOT going to change/improve in the immediate future, but my emotional state COULD be improved with the aid of some additional medication. Once that bit of genius/revelation FINALLY dawned on me, I got down off my pedestal about me being the LAST person to take meds, esp. meds for mental well being. I have to admit a short course of those little 'wonder' pills sure helped me see things in a realistic BUT better fashion. It's not a pancea, or a cure, but it will help folks to get past the early or really rough patches. These CAN be a valuable tool in the battle of this disease. Don't neglect to add them as allies in your battle with it.
Hey, this is coming from a fellow who used to hate taking so much as aspirin for a headache. I'm not a pill junkie... and I didn't become addicted to my 'mood' enhancers, stabilizers, improvers, whatever you want to call them. I doubt that folks who have to take the other meds WE do would. And if that DID happen, I would deal with it then... NOT refuse the help NOW because it might happen!!

Just my thoughts. This disease is a wicked in-fighter. I wouldn't for a moment HESITATE using every dirty trick in the book I know, and then some, to beat the daylights out of it.

 

[bruni31]

Hi phil 87 i had my surgery oct16 and i had a wound infection in two spots, i had packing for 3 months, the silver cell really works good, but once i went on medication for the wound infections i healed very quickly. It takes time, but keep your spirts up. Eat lots of protein that really helps.

 

[phil87]

Hey Bruni, yeah the silvercell is working alot better than the other stuff. I usually walk around now not even noticing that i have a wound there still. The doctor says i probably have another month left but i could see a bit more than that. What kind of medication were you on? antibodics? I wouldnt mind the wound to heal faster...
Im planning to go snowboarding in a couple of days, do you guys think that would be a bad idea? (Wound info: still leaking a bit, no pain though, nurse still comes everyday, and im not wearing the VAC)

 

[Kev]

Snowboarding? Leaking wound + ANY over strenous physical activity = BAD IDEA