I haven't heard of in-home dilatation before. I remember my docs being concerned about perforation. How is this prevented?QUOTE]
In a word, CAREFULLY. Sorry, LoL.
OK, first let's assume that your doc OKs what I'm suggesting. So here's my routine. My doc is pretty aggressive during my assault/procedure in his office (if not done in-office, done by scope). And his fingers are thicker than mine. His rough style gives me confidence that I won't overdue it myself.
First, I clip my fingernails. (As long as there's no pretense here, a good husband/spouse should always keep himself well manicured for his wife, too.) I find that a warm to hot bath helps as does a glass of wine to "put myself in the mood." Add your lubricant of choice and proceed with caution.
I think your fingers have sensitivity and allow you more control. However, I have shopped adult stores (Wifey gets in free--might as well make the trip fun.) for a tool, as I also suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis and my hands can be worthless. On the shelves are MANY options, beginning with soft, pencil-sized diameters and tapered ends. These products have the benefit to being purpose-built, so no sharp edges and dishwasher-friendly. Avoid anything rechargeable or shaped like an animal.
I hope to God this info helps. I suppose if pressed, I could go into more detail, but more than above and I'll start to blush and my wife might get jealous. No-holds-barred for Crohn's friends, right?
All my best from another who understands. Dan