Extremely Insecure about all my scars. I don't even wanna look at myself. Any Advice?

[CourtneyHK95]

I've had Ulcertive Colitis for 3 or 4 years and I had the surgery to remove my colon and give me a jpouch. Since then I've been super insecure about my stomach and the last couple days I just don't even wanna get up in the morning and I hate looking in the mirror. It seems like my fiancé doesn't even want to be near me, and even when I told him I felt ugly and fat. he said nothing which is making it worse because it makes me think he agrees that ive gained weight and am not as pretty as I used to be. it hurts so bad. I feel like ive gained so much weight and have thought about just not eating at all even though its bad for you, but I just want to lose weight. I feel like im huge but im not even 120 pounds. Any other women had/have this problem. I just need to vent and be able to talk to people that understand what I feel like with the scars and just need someone to talk to. Any Advice would be very helpful. please

 

[Dogluv]

hi courtney,
i'm sorry to hear you've had to go through so much, i can't even imagine how hard it's been! i just wanted to let you know of a cream that's works well for getting rid of scars, it's called creme de la mer and it's truly amazing! it's a bit expensive, but after a few months of use, scars begin to dissapear. here's a link: http://www.cremedelamer.com

best of luck, Larissa

 

[LisaL]

Hi Courtney,
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. While I have not had a j pouch, I do have a scar on the lower right quadrant of my abdomen that I hate. No one else sees it but me and my husband, but the way it indents my skin is visible through a bathing suit. It bothers me more than my husband, and if it is still bothering me when the scar is at least one year old I will investigate what could be done to fix the scar.

How long have you had your scar? It also sounds like you are very concerned about having gained weight. But, 120lbs is just not very big. You say you FEEL like you have gained weight, but perhaps you are just not feeling very good right now. You might feel better about your body if you became more active. Maybe you need to feel strong and fit. If you don't regularly exercise, start slow. If you do exercise, find something more challenging. when you feel muscle develop you feel strong and powerful and GOOD!!

I am also sorry that you feel unsupported by hour fiance. Do you think you can tell him how you feel about your body, so that he might be better able to support you. I wonder if you feel a bit betrayed by your body...it doesn't work the way you want it to, or look the way you want it to. You might start with some of those kinds of feeling and then tell him that you need his love and support when you feel bad. Maybe he needs more specific instructions on what you need to feel good.

I hope you feel better soon. Keep us posted and come back here to vent!
-Lisa

 

[SarahBear]

Hey, Courtney!

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

It's awful that you're not getting the support you need. I agree with Lisa - it seems like talking about how you feel and what you need in order to feel better might help. Maybe he's just worried about your health and not sure how to react to any comments about your body because of it.

:hug: I hope things get better for you soon!

 

[LisaL]

HI Courtney...Just checking back in to see how you are feeling...
-Lisa

 

[nitty]

Hi! I have very unsightly scarring from two caesarian sections. I also have trouble looking at myself, although the mirror is not so bad, it's looking down at it that's awful as my tummy creases over the scar (I'm not fat, but there's a horrible bit of flesh there). I used to have a fabulous flat stomach.

However, over the years I have come to terms with it, and have realised that those scars represent an intervention (twice!) that saved my life. If those scars weren't created by surgery then I would probably be dead, or at least my children would have died.

I would never consider getting it sorted out surgically. I couldn't do anything that could potentially put my health at any more risk than it already is. It's just not worth it.

Perhaps you may be able to see some of the positive side to your surgery - I know that's really not easy to do.

My husband also has little to say on the subject. He knows that whatever he says will probably be twisted or taken the wrong way by me, so he just avoids the topic. I know it doesn't mean he loves me any less. He is a complete health freak with a fantastically toned body, and I look like a bit of a mis-shapen blob in comparison, but he loves me and he is just glad that I got through my last flare and am getting well again.

Don't interpret silence as disapproval. I just saw a greetings card that said "Behind every great woman stands a man wondering what he said wrong!".

I hope you can feel better about yourself soon.

 

[CourtneyHK95]

Thank you everyone, I am doing better, ive talked to my fiancé about it and he made me feel better along with all the advice from everyone, it really helped.

 

[LisaL]

Hi Courtney. I am glad you spoke with your fiance and feel reassured. Take good care of yourself!
-Lisa