Hello. Finally decided to become active on this site. Recently have felt a strong need to state my situation. This Crohns thing is such a mental drain almost as much as physical. I have hopes of getting feedback from anyone that has had a similar situation and maybe get some helpful hints for managing. Glad to help anyone I can in reverse. I will start by saying my situation is a mere speck in comparison to what many of you are going through. My prayers go out to you all. I feel somewhat guilty and embarrassed complaining about my situation but it is weighing heavy on me regardless of the level of severity. I have rehearsed the history of my situation in my head about everyday recently so this site is a relief to join and share even though I am an extremely private person. Here I go. I am a 53 year old male. Married with college age kids. I have a professional career that is very fast paced and can be very stressful. I have always been physically fit and in good health other than being diagnosed with Crohns. I can recall always having severe "stomach cramp" episodes since childhood. Maybe once every few years but severe enough for me to remember. Never told by any doctor but I feel these were start of Crohns related symptoms. Went through childhood, college and getting married and starting a family. Always shook off these yearly 12 hour "stomach pains" as something I ate and just man up and work through it. Stress started taking a toll on me as I climbed the career ladder. I had also at this time starting reducing my life long enjoyment of participating in sports and working out. My weight climbed to about 225 (6 ft height). The "stomach" episodes and severity started to increase in numbers thru the 90s. Hours of floor rolling pain and nausea would occur every other month. Finally in the summer of 99 it was so bad one night I had wife take me to the emergency room. This is a big deal because I never been to the hospital my whole life and disliked going to doctors. It was serious for me. After a battery of test (one down the throat and another that I drank substance to show thru my GI tract) and seeking advice of gastro Dr, it was stated I had a mild case of a Crohns related disease. Thought strange it they stated it was "thought to be" Crohns. I also never heard of Crohns before and was shocked at learning about this disease. Got depressed that I was labeled with a disease. Was told to manage stress, eat better and get back physically active. Told this would help some. Was put on the medication Asacol at this time. Asacol seemed to reduce some of my symptoms. Got back into physical shape, tried to eat better and got more rest. Dropped weight to an active lifestyle 210-205 range. The food issue has been a trial and error for years. After about a year, my Gastro changed my medication to Pentasa of which I am still on today. The episodes did not go away over these last 17 years. For about the first 15 years episodes would come about 3 times a year. Always seemed to come after a stressful time, when I was not resting much and after eating something that I always seemed to relate not good for me. Fried food, popcorn, skin fruit and vegs, high fat items, large portions, all I found really had an effect. The typical scenario was I would start to get loud stomach noises in early afternoon. Would start to get very tired. By the time evening rolled around I would try to rest but the cramps would start to pick up like ocean waves coming. They would increase in intensity starting late in the evening. On a scale of 0-5 with O being normal and 5 a pain that makes you want to go to the hospital, it would peak at a 4 for about 5 solid hours. Intense Pain every minute or so. Nausea and vomiting would occur during this category 4 pain stretch. Always seemed to get relief after vomiting several times. Could not do any bowel movements during these episodes. Generally about 5 to 6am that morning I would be worn out and exhausted fighting the battle. The cramping would subside and I would go into a needed rest for that whole day following the previous night's episode. Would have no appetite or desire to drink anything for about 24-48 hours. Very strange not wanting to drink or eat that long but I feared consuming anything. After 48 hours I generally would have a case of severe diarrhea. This was welcomed because it felt like my intestines were being cleansed of the "evil". Would also start trying to rehydrate and eating very mild foods. After about 4 days I would be back to normal. Again this was the pattern for 15 years. Got to where the episodes maybe decreased to 1-2 a year and I made the decision to self decrease my Pentasa out of fear that the meds might cause a side issue from just taking the med. That was not wise I know. The episodes increased in frequency to about one a month. Dr increased Pentasa about a year ago. Things appeared to improve somewhat. At this time I also started being very conscious of what I was eating and went into a reduced food intake situation in hopes that this would help my Crohns. Over about a year I dropped from an average of 210 pounds to 185. Feel this is too much of a loss. Know weight loss is tied to Crohns but the direct reason I reduced weight was because I don't eat very much. Afraid I am fearing food though I love to eat especially the bad things. Deserts, pastas, rich sauces, cheeses, meats, etc. Recently I have experienced what I think is a major change. It is some good in it but also bad. Intensity has decreased but frequency has increased. I have not had a category 4 episode in about 6 months which is great but I am experiencing pain level 1-2 cramps about every other day. I have very loud sounds coming from my stomach/intestines daily. So much so I get embarrassed in functions where others are around. Everyone looks at me strangely and I have to come up with some excuse that I ate something wrong or I am hungry which is not true. I will get a hardening feeling in my lower right area of navel. I can push on this area and it feels like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. I am sure this is blocking in my intestine and I am able to massage along. Feel bloated many days. Have 3 or so bowels movements throughout many days. Varies in loose to firmer with no real pattern. Sometimes I feel the need to make sure a bathroom is close by which I fear may limit my life one day. All this is Very disturbing to me. I am able to basically function my day but I do not feel well and I am very irritable. I get stressed and anger quickly. Worrying a lot about my future with Crohns. I am tired all the time and I have lost energy. When at home all I want to do is rest on couch or go to bed. I don't eat much in fear of causing serve cramps. I have an appetite but just do not want to eat. This is not me. I fear I am not preforming my job as I should. I worry about income and the financial stability of my family. I work in a commission industry of up and coming younger people. Vitality and vigor tend to be the successful traits. I know the mid life crisis issue tends to hit guys at my age regardless. The thought of Crohns knocking me down has added to the natural aging worries. My Dad recently passed away suddenly. Now I am thrust into the role of the eldest male in the family. I am having to watch over my Moms affairs along with my own families while dealing with this Crohns issue. I have scheduled an appointment with my Gastro Dr to follow on these new conditions. Would love to hear if anyone has gone through what I have. I am always looking for supplements, food suggestions, techniques that will help my Crohns. The mental aspect has been a huge challenge for me. Any suggestions you all have will be greatly appreciated. Sorry for rambling for so long. Again, I know my story is nothing in comparison to many of you. I will continue to pray for your relief and for breakthroughs that can help us all. Thanks for listening!