Feeling really discouraged

[Darbpls]

I don't normally post in the forums, but I've just been feeling really discouraged lately and need to vent. I'm 18 years old, halfway through my senior year of high school, and have been diagnosed with crohn's disease since the age of 12. I've flared off and on throughout the years, and because of this I feel like i've missed out on so much. While everyone else has grown up I feel like I'm still twelve years old. Crohn's disease delayed my development tremendously, and I still look like I'm only 14. I remember freshman year my crohn's symptons were at their worst, and I turned into this quiet, mousy girl that everyone thought was nice but no one really cared to know. So early on it was just sort of established that I would be a loner, and that never changed. I've had friends here and there, but no one close. I didn't really have much time to get to know other kids while I was absent from school most of the time due to stomach pains. And I never slept over at friends houses for fear of having a sudden bowel attack. I was just so embarrassed, how do you explain something like that to your peers?

At the start of this year I began remicade infusions, and have been feeling the best I've ever felt. I've been more outgoing in school, put myself out there, and just really gotten to know a lot more people. But even now I still find myself alone every weekend with nothing to do. By senior year everyone's social cliques are basically concrete, and it's nearly impossible for an outsider to jump in. I think everyone still see's me as the quiet, loner girl I always was.

I've just been feeling really restless and I'm not sure what to do with myself.

 

[Susan2]

Hi and :welcome:

Crohn's is a cow of a disease, isn't it. It interferes in our lives in so many ways and I think that it must have such extreme and long-lasting effects on pre-teens and teens. This is the age when your self-image is so fragile and vulnerable.

But you will have opportunities to develop a circle of friends - it might just take more time. Can you invite a few friends over or plan an outing and ask some others to join you?

Is this your final year at school? (I'm Australian and our system works somewhat differently from yours ) What will you do after this year? If you go to college, that will give you an opportunity to change your image.

Although you are almost not a teen now, you might like to join the Teens Only group as I am sure that there are some members there who will be able to empathise with you. :hug:

 

[SarahBear]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're dealing with.

I had a similar experience in high school. I was frequently absent, always felt like an outsider because 1) I missed so much and 2) I had all these health concerns and it just felt impossible to relate to normal kids. I ended up missing almost an entire school year when I was diagnosed. I also look quite a bit younger than I am (my grandmother makes a game out of having people guess my age when we're out together - they usually guess 16… I'm 21). I've always been small, and while I know genetics have something to do with it, I do believe I would have been a bit bigger if not for Crohn's.

It got better after high school. Seeing new people and being put in new situations (work, college) forced me to open up and it turned out that there are people who can relate… and even people who don't necessarily need to relate in order for us to get along.

I hope things get better for you soon. We're here if you need us! :hug:

 

[Johnnysmom]

I am sorry to hear you have had such a hard time of it.:ghug:

I know that some of the very best people I know had a difficult time in high school. Sometimes it is hard to find where you fit in and sometimes you can just be in with a bad group of kids. My son happens to be in a class with some very supportive, great boys. My daughter on the other hand seems to have a mean, clickie group. My high school years were the worst, I wouldn't go back for anything. But I found my way once I was in college. Enjoy feeling well and know that once you do get in a good group of friends the hard times you have had are going to make you a better friend.

(((((Hugs))))))

 

[Beatit]

I don't normally post in the forums, but I've just been feeling really discouraged lately and need to vent. I'm 18 years old, halfway through my senior year of high school, and have been diagnosed with crohn's disease since the age of 12. I've flared off and on throughout the years, and because of this I feel like i've missed out on so much. While everyone else has grown up I feel like I'm still twelve years old. Crohn's disease delayed my development tremendously, and I still look like I'm only 14. I remember freshman year my crohn's symptons were at their worst, and I turned into this quiet, mousy girl that everyone thought was nice but no one really cared to know. So early on it was just sort of established that I would be a loner, and that never changed. I've had friends here and there, but no one close. I didn't really have much time to get to know other kids while I was absent from school most of the time due to stomach pains. And I never slept over at friends houses for fear of having a sudden bowel attack. I was just so embarrassed, how do you explain something like that to your peers?

At the start of this year I began remicade infusions, and have been feeling the best I've ever felt. I've been more outgoing in school, put myself out there, and just really gotten to know a lot more people. But even now I still find myself alone every weekend with nothing to do. By senior year everyone's social cliques are basically concrete, and it's nearly impossible for an outsider to jump in. I think everyone still see's me as the quiet, loner girl I always was.

I've just been feeling really restless and I'm not sure what to do with myself.

Hey this is very normal with Crohns. I experience something like that all of a sudden when I got crohns at 18. I had a ton of friends and was the class clown. Got the disease and it changed my life not the class clown after that and my close friends pondered the disease for a bit but got over it because I called the shots in my little group. College everyone moved and some just did work all the time that's when I started to do my own thing as in trying things I always wanted to do. Get better each day and this disease made me soak in a lot more things in reality. Game changer:ybiggrin:

 

[723crossroads]

I don't normally post in the forums, but I've just been feeling really discouraged lately and need to vent. I'm 18 years old, halfway through my senior year of high school, and have been diagnosed with crohn's disease since the age of 12. I've flared off and on throughout the years, and because of this I feel like i've missed out on so much. While everyone else has grown up I feel like I'm still twelve years old. Crohn's disease delayed my development tremendously, and I still look like I'm only 14. I remember freshman year my crohn's symptons were at their worst, and I turned into this quiet, mousy girl that everyone thought was nice but no one really cared to know. So early on it was just sort of established that I would be a loner, and that never changed. I've had friends here and there, but no one close. I didn't really have much time to get to know other kids while I was absent from school most of the time due to stomach pains. And I never slept over at friends houses for fear of having a sudden bowel attack. I was just so embarrassed, how do you explain something like that to your peers?

At the start of this year I began remicade infusions, and have been feeling the best I've ever felt. I've been more outgoing in school, put myself out there, and just really gotten to know a lot more people. But even now I still find myself alone every weekend with nothing to do. By senior year everyone's social cliques are basically concrete, and it's nearly impossible for an outsider to jump in. I think everyone still see's me as the quiet, loner girl I always was.

I've just been feeling really restless and I'm not sure what to do with myself.

There are local crohn's groups you could start to go to and meet people who are going thru similar things. Or try going to a local church and theere are youth groups at most too that would welcome yo. I hope this helps. Feel free to reachout on this forum anytime. We are here to support you!:rosette1: