Feels like life is slipping away to a slow death.

[countrycoffeehouse]

feels like life is slipping away to a slow death.

So today I am weak.. like walk 10 steps and feel like I ran 10 miles uphill weak. I find I am having trouble standing for very long.. basically like I am slowly dying. I have 4 kids and I just lay around on the couch or upstairs in bed.. I know my Iron is dropping again. And I am pretty sure I need some IV iron, but with no insurance I will just have to deal with this.. to even lift my hands seem like a large task. I couldn't even open my gatoraid bottle..I have been getting worse and worse.. but today just stinks. I was supposed to take my daughter to her gymnastics meet but I am to weak so we are skipping.. supposed to go to church tonight..but I am skipping.. feel like life is slipping. And I honestly feel depressed.. not like me at all. I used to be full of energy and the life of the party.. now I force myself out of bed and tell myself that I can actually walk upstairs! My family is so sick of this and I miss being me.. anyone else miss being themselves? :depressed:

 

[BLM]

Hi Countrycoffeehouse, I am terribly sorry to hear of your situation.....but your not alone!! I too have bad days, where I cant get up out of bed, where Im too exhausted to even talk....but YOU HAVE too!! I am iron and B12 def and if I dont have my does....life is way worst!! So maybe try some OTC suppliments if you havnt already. When I lay around it almost makes things worst....I become more depressed about my situation, more negative and my family sees it. I have two young babies, and life is hard....but I dont live for me, I live for them!! Everyday I miss being me, the super mom who could do it all, nowadays, Im lucky to do what I have to....everything else is just put off til I find time and energy. The ONE thing that is so hard to do, but I feel better when I do....is going to church. I forced myself in pain, sleep deprived and depressed to get up and go. It was nice to get out for a bit....I wish you luck, and you NOT alone, we all have our days, weeks and even months...hang in there~

 

[countrycoffeehouse]

Well i usually am the queen of suck it up... today and lately its just not happening..Honestly I am sick enough to be admitted.. but without insurance I am trying to avoid the ER.. lost 20 ( and I was not even overweight to start with) skinny, poopy, weak.. this is me

 

[DustyKat]

Oh hell, is there nowhere you can go when you don't have insurance?

Thinking of you, :hug:
Dusty

 

[Jennifer]

Isn't there some sort of walk in clinic you can go to? I know here in California there is insurance for low income people with no other health coverage. You can go to the ER even and then apply for it and they will pay you tab or at least make it much cheaper and also allow small payments over time. Oregon has to have something like that.

You could also apply for Social Security which would help you get free medical coverage.
http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/healthplan/app_benefits/other_res.shtml
http://www.oregon.gov/OPHP/FHIAP/

Check out the links, they may benefit you or you could at least call and they may be able to help you some how even if its a number or name to another program.

 

[Dras]

I''m SO sorry that you are going through such a rough patch!
Thinking of you and I really hope you feel better soon.
Keep fighting the good fight love, we will be on the other side cheering you on.

Hang in there!!

 

[countrycoffeehouse]

well were not low income.. but not high enough to afford private insurance. My husband was laid off in august and is now at a temp to hire agency for Intel.. once he is moved from the temp to the actual company we will have insurance.. March-mayish.. so a while out. They have clinics etc but I need meds and that is not what they can do for me.. I need Humira or Cimzia which is not your standard clinic drug.. The only way to slow or stop the flare is with Bio Meds.. I have been on the other ones with no luck.. I think I will be going in for the IV iron eventually.. trying to not kill us financially

 

[Jennifer]

I think most if not all of us have been through the unnecessary roller coaster ride that is health coverage. And I'm sorry you're on that ride now. The ER is and always will be an option but yeah, you're right, its a financial killer. Have you tried contacting your GI doc to see if there's anything they can do? Even those links above may be able to help you somehow, if you call and tell them your situation they may be able to give you another number to call.

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

In addition to what Crabby suggested, could you contact the manufacturers of one of the drugs you mentioned and see if they could work something out for you financially? Frequently I see commercials for prescription drugs and they say at the end, "Call us if you can't afford your prescription, we may be able to help." It's worth a try!

 

[MADiMarc]

I feel for you. Please contact Abbott (Humira) as they do have a wonderful program for this. I know because I helped a friend fill out the forms. You can do it on line even, I think. It may take up to two weeks (very bad for you, I know) but it does come through. She was in a similar situation of no insurance due to a job layoff and temporary income.
Good luck,
Michele

 

[glum chump]

While I realize that iron infusions are the "cadillac" (my doctor's description, not mine!) of iron, would it be at all financially feasible for you to get the iron shots? At one point, I had weekly iron shots, and they made a difference. Granted, it's not as fast-acting as the iron infusion, but it worked a lot quicker and a lot less painfully, than iron pills.

I'm in Canada, and six shots of iron cost me $40. I'm not sure if this would be a bit more of a financially feasible option for you?

The title of your thread totally made sense to me, and although it may not seem like it's going to get better and everything seems and feels hopeless, I just want to say that it will get better. Hang on...hang in there.

Sending you lots of care and energy and wishes for something to shift for you.

 

[ameslouise]

Yes, Abbott has a great Humira program where it costs you like $5 a month!!!

In the meantime, would prednisone help you? I know it's not ideal, but it works fast and it's really cheap. Next Spring is a long time to wait for treatment when you are in such a bad flare. That sounds like a dangerously long time to let yourself go, getting more and more anemic every day.

You mention your church in your post. Is there anyone there that can help you? Is there a member of your congregation that is a doctor or physician's assistant (someone that can write a script for you) that would see you pro-bono? Reach out to your fellow congregants.

Hang in there - good luck - keep us posted!! - Amy

 

[RachLG]

Not getting the treatment you need could land you in a far worse state where treatment is bound to be even more costly. There are programs for families who are the "inbetweeners" - cannot afford private insurance but make too much to qualify for low income. Perhaps one of these programs?

http://www.ehealthlink.com/OregonHealthPlan/Default.asp

This was just one google search too - if you feel up to it, perhaps you and your husband can look into it some more. And I say your husband too because you mentioned your family getting sick of you being sick, which is something I feel too sometimes. I find it helpful to show my loved ones that I'm trying to be on the road to getting better. I hope things turn around for you!

 

[Sue-2009]

Awe...Coffehouse! This is awful for you! Please try and take some of the ideas here and put them to good use...We have all been there...When your down, its hard to get back up both emotionally and physically. ((HUGS)) Sue