Guilt and depression

[drew_wymore]

I've been deailling with some serious guilt and depression lately =( I posted awhile back that I felt I was in remission and I still believe that I am, insomuch as I am not flaring but I am having issues just not nearly as bad as they were. They are still inhibiting me working full time and I've missed a few friend and family functions because I've been in pain and exhausted. Because of not being my usual self and being at work all the time and being the everything to my family and friends I've found myself feeling guilty and then in turn getting depressed over the guilt.

Anyone else go through these cycles? Any tips for getting on? I am trying to keep myself as positive as possible but some days it just seems damn hard to be positive.

 

[Isla]

Thats where I am right now, my pain is much better than it used to be but still there and I am still very tired - though for all intents and purposes I am in remission I suppose. I think it is totally normal to feel that way. But in reality I want to learn a better way of dealing with those emotions so I asked my gp for a referral to therapy. I don't know how to deal with it appropriately that's why I am asking a professional

 

[butt-eze]

I'm sorry to hear that you're down Drew. I think what you're going through is normal. This is why I've stayed on anti-depressants. I feel like I'm more moody and emotional when I'm not on meds. The situations is frustrating. It goes back to how most of us feel that people can't tell we are sick. So, they don't understand how it is affecting us.

Don't be hard on yourself Drew. Guilt is not something you need to feel. You didn't choose this disease.

Amy

 

[BWS1982]

I echo the sentiments Drew, I assume your family and friends know about this, unless they've given you a hard time....in that case (doubtful though), you can forgo caring what they think then. Depression and IBD go together like White Castle and toilet paper, with one often comes the other for us. Hang in there man, if anybody understands it's your loved ones.

 

[soupdragon69]

Hey Drew,

I totally empathise with your feelings as many here do. You are certainly not alone. I think though sometimes when we have progress we expect so much more of ourselves than perhaps our body is ready to allow. Dont forget you are still having some hiccups and if its enough to prevent full time work then take a step back and look at the bigger picture here.

You have made some great progress Drew just allow your body that time to rebuild, repair and recover a bit more and things will come together resulting in your being able to enjoy family and friends to the depth you long for.

Be patient my friend you will get there and in the meantime allow us to prop you up ok?

 

[jed]

yep, in the same boat as everyone else here.

just gets damn hard sometimes matey, but theres always small happiness's along the way, so i try to concentrate on them.

best wishes.

 

[drew_wymore]

Thanks everyone. Its so nice to know I'm not alone

 

[Guest]

you're certainly not alone with these feelings, Drew.

i know i am really hard on myself, and put myself on a regular guilt trip, mainly because i sometimes feel that all i do is let people down. & when it's my kids i've let down, i feel terrible. luckily, my family & friends know how things are, and are pretty good at standing by me and not showing their disappointment, but children can't hide it so well.

all we can do, is do the best we can. our people will still love us just as much, so i suppose we should learn to love ourselves too, and be kinder to ourselves.

 

[drew_wymore]

Well said DB, words to live by. My friends, family, co-workers, employer .. the checker at safeway (my mom pulls out the crohns all the time to embarrass me I guess haha) .. all know and nobody gives me any grief about it. Its all internal. I'm dealing with other issues too since I moved home I feel all disorganized and what not. I probably should go on anti depressants but I feel like I've taken so many pills in the last year that the last thing I want is yet another one to take, I'm sure everyone here understands that feeling.

Its starting to be more sunny and warm here so thats helping, getting out when I can and enjoying the sunshine really does life my spirits. And I'm actively trying to avoid being so hard on myself as well and so far its working, and the one thing I didn't used to do, I'm talking about how I'm feeling which is an immense help.

 

[soupdragon69]

Drew you are in the middle of a huge group hug here! Alone is one thing you arent on this aspect believe me!!

Sometimes as you say taking yet another pill isnt always the answer and working through it can help. When you are not in your own corner it can really throw you too - I know I felt better once I moved out of my parents house again a few years back.

Allow the suns warmth to seep into your core and help you unwind gently. Take each step at your own pace.

Know we are always here to listen even though we cant take that internal ache away from you right now.

You will get there.. ((hugs))

 

[Guest]

Jan, that is a lovely sentiment, and i agree - sometimes coming in here does feel like receiving a big squishy hug, just what we need

Drew - you're taking big steps in the right direction, even though they may feel like little slow ones to you. and yes, talking is so good for us - and just as important is the feedback you get. sunshine is a wonderful natural uplifter, i think everyone feels better when the sun is shining on us. music helps me too - and taking time out to relax. whatever it takes to make your inner smile come back, do it!

 

[BWS1982]

like receiving a big squishy hug, just what we need

Only on an IBD forum would hugs be squishy. Yucky.

 

[drew_wymore]

Haha Benson, so so true.

 

[FruitLoop]

I am in a major guilt / depression cycle at the moment.

I have loads of appointments with GP, consultant, blood tests e.t.c and last week I had to miss my little girls assembly at school.

I felt 100% **** when I had to tell her "mummy can't make it" even though daddy, nanny were going.

She was a bit miffed but got over it.

It's normal to get depressed, guilty, angry about this illness and as long as you admit these feeling and off load them they won't consume you.