I woke up feeling awfull today. Not a big suprise for me or anyone else here I'm sure. Problem is I had big plans for today. Oh well...my biggest problem is I couldn't even push myself to do anything. Normally I can. So I am pretty stressed which makes the pain even worse of course. Here is the thing. I am supposed to return to work Monday after being off 8 weeks. I do not see this happening with the way I felt today. I love my job and can't wait to get back to it. But at this point I have to wonder if I am going to be able to work anymore or if this disease has claimed me. My job is what pushes me to get better. It is something I am good at and makes me feel like I make a difference. If I have to give it up I am afraid I will give up all together. I used to be a very self sufficient person and have given up a lot with this disease. I am afraid this would be the last straw. It would break me! I don't know what to do. I am loosing it! Quickly!
