Hate things just now :(

[CatherineM]

I'm still undiagnosed. Im 24 with a lovely partner n 2 special kids. Awaiting biopsy results from last weeks colonoscopy. I also have bile reflux which I was diagnosed with 3 weeks ago. I just hate things just now. I'm always so unwell, tired, sore n worst of all my sex drive is gone and I feel so guilty. I want to have sex with my partner but my body's just not up to it. Iv been like this for months. He says he understands and when I cry he is supportive but I just hate myself for it. I'm just so low just now. I'm lucky to have a great partner and kids, just don't feel as if Omar my best. I'm sick of feeling unwell all the time. I just want the happy bubbly me back

I just wondered am I normal with feeling unwell every day. I mean it's always stomach pain, toilet urgencies when out, joint pain, struggle to sleep, catching the cold all the time, exhausted. Also having no sex drive, is that normal for IBD. I just don't no how to cope other than cry

 

[LisaL]

I am sorry that you are feeling so I'll right now. I too am in a flare up of my Crohns and experience many of the same symptoms you do: severe fatigue, aches and low libido. I think these are very common experiences for people feeling sick. Try to be kind to yourself. Trust your partner, that he understands and wants you to feel better. I hope you get your colonoscopy results very soon, and can start on some sort of treatment plan to help ou feel better.

 

[b1ackmai1er]

Hi Catherine,

Don't blame yourself. So much of this is outside your control. Hopefully in time you will have some answers and some medical relief.

Regarding the sexual side of your relationship can I please offer you some advise from my personal experience without being too icky.

If you do not have energy for sex, think about what you can replace it with to help your partner without placing pressure on yourself.

How many ways can you show your partner that you love him? By touch, by how you look at him, by talking to him, by being sensual, by reassuring him, by exploring other less demanding sexual activities such masturbation, pornography, massage, sharing a shower, afternoon naps and cuddles, sitting on his lap, putting your arms around him, touching him as passes, talk to him while he shaves, if you see him naked, assure him you like what you see. Do you get the idea? Don't leave a void of a sexless relationship, replace it with something good, whatever works for you. Keep him updated on how you feel. Be honest, if things are not improving let him know. If you get brief periods of sunshine, make hay! Ask for his suggestions. Make sure you are both aware that this might not be resolved for a long time and that showing affection is not an automatic request for sex. Guys struggle with this because they think everything can be fixed.

Hope I have given you something to consider.

At the moment I am divorcing the woman I have loved the most in my life, my princess, someone very special, like I have never met before. We couldn't replace that void with something good. In the end the lack of any affection and communication led to a wall of rejection and anger that i could not overcome. I sit here in my bedroom alone and she sits in the lounge room alone. It's very sad.

I wish you every happiness.




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[Adam1971]

Hi Catherine-

I can relate quite a bit. My symptoms have me a bit run down and certainly not "in the mood" and its been that way for a while. It sucks. I hope you can ride it out.