As an veterans ostomate I sometime forget all things that us ostomates undure when they first became sick and the day we had our ostomy. I was reminded the other night of such feeling from a friend who just had the surgery a couple weeks ago. I told my friend that they needed to control the disease don't let the disease control you and other great things you say to cheer a friend up! They became angry and I must say I was a little taken back! I was being condesending they said! I was horafied that I had offended my friend.To tell you the truth I had to look up the meaning of that word ....
condescending
adjective patronizing, lordly, superior, lofty, snooty (informal), snobbish, disdainful, supercilious, toffee-nosed (slang, chiefly Brit.), on your high horse (informal) I'm fed up with your condescending attitude
Then I got it.........I was acting snooty in a "I wasn't even aware I was doing it " kind a way! I never thought about it from a Newbie prospective in a long time. I didn't mean to imply that because you have been sick for only a short time , doesn't mean there feeling didn't count...........nothing else was said about the matter !
when I was laying in bed I started remembering all the emotion that came when your first diagnosed or left alone for the first time to care for your own ostomy! You see I wasn't a VERY GOOD PATIENT! I was diagnosed young age and was mad that I was sick, I was mad because I had to be in the hospital, I was mad at the medication because they made me feel sick all the time. I was mad because I wasn't going to have the LIFE THAT I WANTED ANYMORE! I had so many dreams and hope that I wanted to be normal ! My friends started treating me different. My appearance started changing and I just couldn't do what normal kids wanted to do, so I was left out of advents . I didn't want to be alone . I thought ...how will I ever tell someone that I have a DISEASE! I was frustrated and angry all the time, snapping at anybody that TRIED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK! aaahaa moment!
They were feeling the same way I did when it happened to me! I too felt powerless at that time in my life. I still can't write or think about those times without crying still to this moment! The feeling are still fresh even after 25 yrs . And I forgot that it's ok to have bad days! It's ok to cry or It's ok too be mad, because those were the moments in time that I learned the most from! I didn't like it , but I grew from it and became a better person.Time really does heal all wounds! (IF I ONLY KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW)
So newbies ostomates try to remember that us veteran have been though it all and we are here to share our storys and to give advice .So please be patient with us!
Veterans ostomates remember to be patient with the newbies because we have had those frustrated feeling at the beginning too. So please be patient with us!
:rosette2:~traci~
condescending
adjective patronizing, lordly, superior, lofty, snooty (informal), snobbish, disdainful, supercilious, toffee-nosed (slang, chiefly Brit.), on your high horse (informal) I'm fed up with your condescending attitude
Then I got it.........I was acting snooty in a "I wasn't even aware I was doing it " kind a way! I never thought about it from a Newbie prospective in a long time. I didn't mean to imply that because you have been sick for only a short time , doesn't mean there feeling didn't count...........nothing else was said about the matter !
when I was laying in bed I started remembering all the emotion that came when your first diagnosed or left alone for the first time to care for your own ostomy! You see I wasn't a VERY GOOD PATIENT! I was diagnosed young age and was mad that I was sick, I was mad because I had to be in the hospital, I was mad at the medication because they made me feel sick all the time. I was mad because I wasn't going to have the LIFE THAT I WANTED ANYMORE! I had so many dreams and hope that I wanted to be normal ! My friends started treating me different. My appearance started changing and I just couldn't do what normal kids wanted to do, so I was left out of advents . I didn't want to be alone . I thought ...how will I ever tell someone that I have a DISEASE! I was frustrated and angry all the time, snapping at anybody that TRIED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK! aaahaa moment!
They were feeling the same way I did when it happened to me! I too felt powerless at that time in my life. I still can't write or think about those times without crying still to this moment! The feeling are still fresh even after 25 yrs . And I forgot that it's ok to have bad days! It's ok to cry or It's ok too be mad, because those were the moments in time that I learned the most from! I didn't like it , but I grew from it and became a better person.Time really does heal all wounds! (IF I ONLY KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW)
So newbies ostomates try to remember that us veteran have been though it all and we are here to share our storys and to give advice .So please be patient with us!
Veterans ostomates remember to be patient with the newbies because we have had those frustrated feeling at the beginning too. So please be patient with us!
:rosette2:~traci~
