Hope is for NONbelievers Faith is for ACHIEVERS

[BeautifulSoul313]

What can I say ....
My little Crohn fairy found her way into my small intestine Oct 2011'

I kinda figured that I had it being that I had IBS when I was in High School. I have always had severe almost like labor cramps and abdominal pain when I got my cycle since I was 12 years old. But that day 10/18/2011 was a day to remember. I was in aching pain when the doctor wanted to get me in for a CT scan just to check and see if I had appendix issues.

When I got out the doctor told me "Ma'am did you know you have Crohn's Disease?" I was praying that he said "HAD" but he said "HAVE" I told him no and they then let me know that they were going to admit me because of my severe inflammation.

I had to have a colonoscopy (I know I didn't spell it right don't judge me lol) They couldn't even fit the tool where it needed to go it was so inflamed

I had to stay in the hospital for two weeks watching my weight go down like the feathers from a pillow fight... :'( I felt so lost... I was already insecure about my weight knowing everyone in my family is bigger than me and I had no breasts no ass anymore and I was like ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where is the freaking REWIND BUTTON!!! I had to stop and think for a minute..

Research my disease and first PRAY... God would not and will never put anything on me that I can NOT handle... I had to thank him for not making it worse (i.e CANCER..DEATH..ect...) I was lucky... Scratch that ... I'M BLESSED!!! I am a lover of music as well as an artist in Music and Danced since I was 5 years old... I got my i-pod and I grabbed the bar in my room and put my i-v to the side and I danced y'all... I DANCED =") I felt so good and I told myself ... We're gonna fight this if it kills everyone but US! We will smile and learn and grow and NOT let this disease get the best of US!

It was really hard not looking in the mirror crying about how I look... Sometimes I can eat and sometimes I don't have an appetite at all and I haven't ate all day! Sometimes my Life Partner has to make me eat... Potatoes and Rice have been my bestie!! I can't stand ensure but I have to drink it daily! I am getting through this one step at a time... I wish my biological family was there for me as much as my Life Partner's family... But I am so grateful for them and the support got me through everything... Also my baby sister is the only immediate family that has been there.

I love myself a lot more now ... I know it sounds bad but if I wasn't diagnosed I would have never known how to love myself more... My life partner loves me more than ever but it made no sense for me not to love me as much if not more than she does.. God has made me a strong woman and I would tell anyone that is going through it ... HOLD ON! everything is gonna be alright ... I pray for everyone even if I don't know you .. even if ppl hate me ... I pray for a way for EVERYONE!

Thank you for letting me vent... I will be here very often !!! My name is Karma and I am a proud PURPLE ribbon lady ... To all my PURPLE RIBBON souls we will get through this I pray for strength I pray for love for you I pray for stability for you I pray for understanding upon you! I pray for your protection from HARM and most of all I pray for LIFE for you! Peace of mind! God bless you! xoxo

 

[David]

Hi Karma and welcome! It's great to have you here I love your positive outlook, good for you!

Are you on any medications? It sounds like you're still having trouble, yes? What symptoms do you have these days?

Again, welcome!

P.S. We edited your post to make it easier to read by adding paragraphs and removing the comic sans. I hope you don't mind I just know you wouldn't get the responses and support you deserve if it was hard to read. Please take no offense.

 

[rygon]

Welcome to the forum. I hope we can be of some help to you, any questions you have about this aweful disease then please ask and im sure others will try their best to help

 

[BeautifulSoul313]

Thank you so much for the WELCOME <3 it feels great to have a website I can really relate to and learn a lot from... I am just diagnosed and was blessed to receive a shands card to receive care for this .. My first appointment is 6/18/12 I am really nervous but I really wanna get better... I have pains a lot like menstrual cramps and when I'm on my cycle it's WORSE! I have had blood in my stool twice and 1 colonoscopy but I am still awaiting my appt to learn more about it ... I am so exited because when you don't have insurance the E.R is the only way I can be seen But I will let everyone know what's going on after my appt... I have a question though...? Why so much weight loss? =( How do you gain weight when you can't eat air??? =(

 

[David]

You were diagnosed in October of 2011 but haven't seen a GI yet? That's not good

What is a "Shands Card"?

There are various reasons people experience weight loss, but the most common is due to malabsorption. You have so much inflammation and potentially other structural changes in your intestines that they're literally unable to absorb properly aid in digestion and absorption of nutrients. And of course if you're unable to eat, that will quickly lead to weight loss.

How many Ensure are you able to drink a day? Have you tried any other enteral nutrition formulations? Maybe one that is dairy free?

 

[BeautifulSoul313]

I know it's bad but I'm finally getting an appt and I'm happy about that I didn't have insurance nor could get medicaid because I don't have children... A shands card is like an insurance card that let me be seen by certain doctors no cost me just paying for medication.. So I am not happy about the wait but am privileged to be helped =) I'm still learning everything like what foods NOT to eat and what's good for me ... I just know I drink a lot of water lol I am rarely hungry anymore and when I do eat my tummy hates me for it

 

[BeautifulSoul313]

Oh and yes at least 2 ensures a day now =)

 

[EthanPSU]

Hey and welcome to the forums! I know how you're feeling about weight. I ear about 3000 calories a day trying to get mine back. But for your title. Can't I believe in hope and have faith in something?

 

[BeautifulSoul313]

Hey and welcome to the forums! I know how you're feeling about weight. I ear about 3000 calories a day trying to get mine back. But for your title. Can't a believe in hope and have faith in something?

Something my late Godmother Christina would teach my sister and I meaning to us.. Don't be unsure be sure ....have Faith =) ... Like when you say "I hope I get that job","I hope I make this light?", "I hope I get this loan"...If you have already claimed it you'd be so sure and that's where Faith waves and God takes control ... His will be done =) I am so sure that I will beat this Crohns Disease.. I'm not hoping for it to diminish itself ... But I do know I will be healed ...:rosette1: