You are looking at a little tablet in your hand and imagining all the damage that little pill has the potential to wreak in your little boy and those fears are natural and just Mum. We all understand what you are going through whether we face that same hate and dread everyday when we medicate our own children or whether you are like Tess, not having reached that point but thinking constantly about the time that the decision may be thrust upon her.
You are damned if you and you are damned if you don't. As Clash has said, both of my children take Imuran and I hate it but the alternative is worse. I have come to this from a different angle to many, it doesn't make it any easier to bear knowing that my children need to take this drug but I do have the experience of seeing this from the other side. My daughter went undiagnosed for a long period of time so she effectively wasn't being treated for her Crohn's. The damage that untreated Crohn's did to her was just horrendous and she came within a whiskers breadth of losing her life to it. I am not trying to scare you hun as your little guy is diagnosed and so this is something he shouldn't ever face with monitoring and care just as I know it is something my daughter will never face again. But there is an unseen side to this disease just the same.
There is often talk on this forum about how people don't understand what sufferers with IBD go through because it an invisible disease and not one that many people talk about. I often wonder if the invisibility of the disease also makes the decisions we have to make harder for us too. If it was a disease that we could see would we jump at the chance to knock it on the head, if that inflammation was on the outside would we be aghast at what we saw? I guess for those that suffer with the more severe skin conditions that can go along with disease it does make it very real IYKWIM.
I am a long way down the track with my children and if someone asked me what my biggest fear about this disease was I would be lying if I didn't say the drugs were right up there but honestly my biggest fear is untreated or under treated inflammation and the damage that does. It is insidious, it is stealthy and it is dangerous.
Some time ago I posted an article about one of the dreaded side effects of these drugs and for the life of me I can't find it again, but the gist of what it said and what I want to stress to you is the importance of monitoring. Ensure you remain vigilant with monitoring his bloods and all should be well. It is the ability to jump on anomalies fast that is the key to avoiding adverse outcomes. Having said all that we do need to put things into perspective and as hard as it is we need to keep reminding ourselves that the worst of the side effects of these drugs are in fact very rare, much, much, much rarer than the damage Crohn's has the potential to cause.
It is morning now Mum and I have no trouble envisioning the heartache and heaviness you feel this morning. :hug: It will be okay hun, he is your baby and you want nothing but the best for him. This wasn't a part of the plans and dreams you had for him but if it gives him the chance to the best he can possibly be then I know you will give him that little tablet this morning.
Thinking of you and remember, we are all here for you,
Dusty. xxx
