How/when did (or do you) explain this to your kids?

[HeatherMN]

Mine are 9 now, and I think it may be time to try to explain to them what's wrong with Mommy! If you have explained this disease to your children, could you give me some advice? I have a link to some booklet I think from the CCFA website about kids and Crohn's but it seems to be more geared towards explaining it as the kid has the disease, not the parent.
I still haven't explained the birds and the bees either, I am not sure which is going to be harder.
My kids are little worrywarts (get that from me) and I don't want to stress them out with this, more than I have to I guess. Thanks in advance!

 

[Jennifer]

Oh boy. I had the birds and the bees talk before I was 9. I think I was 8 and it was a school program where they would talk about it in 4th, 6th, 7th and 9th grade.

As for telling them about crohns, my mom didn't have crohns but she has heart problems but only made mention of it when we were young and didn't go into great detail (I'm still asking her questions to this day!). Kids are pretty smart and can handle these types of discussions. All I can suggest is that you be calm and informative and ask them if they have any questions at the end. You'll probably have to talk about it again when they get older cause I know I could get forgetful. Also after you tell them you can be more open about the topic and not have to speak quietly about your condition or go in another room since they already know about it now. It'll help remind them over the years. A diagram may be helpful as well or any pictures you might have had taken during a scope? I was diagnosed at 9 and those pictures didn't gross me out or anything.

Edit: If I decide to have kids, I'll probably have to have this talk too so I hope someone else has some good pointers.

 

[CDDad]

My oldest is almost 8 and she knows about Crohns for a while now. I have been so sick for the last two years so we always explained what was wrong, and why daddy had to have surgery.
We would just explain that its a disease that gives me diarrhea and its why the bathroom smelled so bad (ha). Now that I have my ostomy, I am sharing that with her. She is interested in the pouch and has seen my ostomy.

I try to reassure her that I'll be around for a long time. Talking about it is just a natural thing for us.

 

[Nyx]

I've talked to my stepkids about it, since I was in the hospital over Christmas, I kinda had to tell them! They knew about Crohn's before the surgery, but they know alot more now. I've also shown them my bag and told them how it works. They're 9 and 4. The 4 year old thinks it's hilarious when I fart in her ear...weirdo...lol

 

[CDDad]

Ha - I was just letting my daughter put her ear to my bag. Great minds think alike.

 

[butt-eze]

My son is only 4. He has participated in 3 CCFA walks with my family and friends. So, he's heard the word Crohn's. He doesn't get it but he knows something is not normal. He watches me take my Humira shots and dabs the blood with a kleenex. He has also seen me go through two surgeries (wrist and ankle) due to AVN. He doesn't know why I have bad bones but he knows that I have more surgeries ahead of me. He does worry a lot but I always assure him I am ok.
He has recently learned about death and went through a couple of weeks of asking questions. My husband and I tell him that he is ok and we will be around a long time. He seems ok with that.
We haven't had the birds and bees talk but he knows enough. We use correct anatomical names and he doesn't seem shy about saying penis or vagina.
I think honesty is always the best policy. No brutal honesty, just no beating around the bush.

 

[Becky]

My sons are also 4 and 1. I think too young to explain it. My 4 yr old knows that i go to the Dr alot and that my stomach hurts a lot but that is about it. He knows I take lots of medicine and sometimes watches me get my B12 shot. If i have to have surgery or a hospital stay I would explain more. Otherwise I will wait until he gets older.

 

[My Butt Hurts]

My son is 10, so this is just how it has always been for him. He sees my good days and my bad days, so I haven't really had to explain too much.
My daughter is 5, and though I haven't flared in over a year, she adapted to whatever was going on at the time. We have always been very open about my poop problems, and it kinda just became a way of life. Kids are very resiliant and understanding.

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about the Crohn's walk coming up and I said "It's all fun and games until someone loses a colon!" My son asked what that meant, so I took the opportunity to explain a lot of the things that could possibly happen with Crohn's. Then I explained how lucky I have been so far. He asked if he could get it too, and made a gross face when I told him that it was possible. Then I gave him many examples of people who are far worse than I have been.

 

[HeatherMN]

Thanks for all your advice, will just try to be upfront about it and explain it as easily as I can to them.

And, I guess this is the only way they have ever known me to be, I've had it since just after they were born... They are used to me sitting on the outside of the booth, the last seat in the row at the movie theater, sprinting from the back of Target to the front cause they all seem to only have one bathroom(!)

It might explain to them why I am always so interested in their poops too :lol: