I need to get my confidence back...

[jack_t_barrowman]

...and am not sure how to at present. I went to see my specialist last night and he was happy with my progress and while that's great news, I'm still finding it hard to come to terms with having Crohn's.

I had someone who I know really wants to date me get all snappy as I'm not always able to meet up and I am trying to get my old life back of going out and doing different things. I got accused of being selfish and had the phrase "it's all about you" thrown at me. This person also mutters under their breath if I say I'm not able to meet up at certain times. They also won't take it on board that I don't want a relationship right now, and definitely won't take no for an answer, even though I keep telling them. It hasn't been that long since I was signed off work and wondered what was wrong with me - and while the diagnosis is a relief, I need to work out how to handle this.

I have also had my manager voice concerns about how stable my health is. That's really worrying as I would love to go for a higher grade role - which is a real ambition of mine. I also find myself feeling awkward when I mention having Crohn's at work as there are occasions when people assume I can do things I'm not comfortable with. I like to sit near the door in meetings in case I need to make a dash for it, and I have been treated like a real inconvenience because of it.

My health really has improved in the last few months, and the medication I'm on is working well... but I am still finding I'm anxious about leaving my home in the morning in case I have a problem. I really want to get my life back on track, and to work on my confidence. The worry of how much my specialists' bills cost is a bit of a nightmare - my parents have said they will cover them but I needed tests at one of them and keep being told how pricey the tests are, and I'm not comfortable with my parents paying out all that money. I could have had the tests done on the NHS but the waiting times aren't great and I was concerned about how things were going.

It all seems to be one thing after another and it's a bit mind blowing...

 

[beth]

Aye, confidence is a thing I struggle with. I think you have to start being a bit belligerent: I can do this damn job, and me sitting near the door is such a minor convenience that if you don't like that, well tough! Kind of showing you have all the confidence in the world even if you are shrinking away internally!

Anyone who mutters under their breath when you cant go out on a date and that doesn't really sound like a good person to me? or maybe immature. I'd find someone else who is more understanding.

 

[kllyeve]

I understand the confidence issue. I may not suffer from D, but the pain I have is very fatiguing. I want to find a new job but feel like no one will hire me now that I have a chronic illness, so feel stuck at my current job. I also fell that everyone looks at me like I can no longer contribute as I am so often ill.

As to coming to terms with having a chronic illness, I am still struggling with that. I have always been a person who just shouldered through and got on with it - but now I just do not have the energy. I start Remicade soon, so hopefull things will get better.

It seems like we all go through similar stuff, so you are in the right place to get support. Hope things go alright for you soon.