I sharted.

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So to continue my apparent topic of the day, poop....

Usually if there's any solidness to my poop, it is challenging to get any of it out. I think I'm headed into a flair because I've gone from that to not being able to eat anything without dire consequences.

So today, for the first time in my memory, I crapped my pants. I don't know what happened. Usually I have great timing because there's a pattern of feeling like **** that happens and I know exactly where the limit is. Today it was like this burning miasma of liquid ninja poo. My small bowel was rumbling like there were gerbils throwing a rave in there and suddenly, one of those pseudo farts that you just should never trust. I had no control over it at all. I'm rather horrified by it.

Luckily I was at home and no one was the wiser, but now I'm terrified of this happening while I'm out and about. So what do you guys do about this? Do I need to start carrying around an emergent shart kit?
 
Sorry Firework, but I have just cried laughing at this. Been there, but you have such a way of putting things.

I used to say I had hippos in my small bowel, but gerbils are much more apt.

Hope is was a one off.

Kaz xxx
 
Yup - made me laugh too.
Ninja poops and psuedo farts.
They get the better of all of us damn them.
Hope it doesn't happy again buddy.
 
hilarious....i started laughing when i read the title alone.

not laughing at you firework, with you, cause most of us have been there lol.

are you female? if so perhaps wear a sanitary towel when you are know you're having D and always carry spare undies in your bag.
if you're male.....i don't really know what to suggest.
when my crohn's was active- i never farted, as painful as it was to hold them in- i wouldn't have dared, just in case....now i don't have that problem cause i no longer have a butt :)
 
Being female, at least we are used to dealing with monthlies (sp?) and nappies (if u have kids).

Good job we can laugh xxx
 
I just about peed my pants......your take on life will help you thru many more indelicate events you have yet to experience. My glove box in my car holds not registration but wet wipes, undies, penaten diaper cream (for those burny ones). But I've been lucky lately and haven't had to use them, though it can be awkward when the mechanic calls to ask where my registration papers are.
 
From the male side of things - I improvised what I guess is essentially a pad. Took a single sheet of TP, folded it twice and wore it next to my skin. Aside from preventing skid mark propagation, it provides the very useful couple seconds between the shart and the ... you know. That couple seconds has saved many pairs of underwear!
 
too funny, and alot of us here know how you feel. Someone has a bio here that said "sharted lately?...just wait" or something like that.

I've been post happy with my tricks and tips today, we we'll go into female bladder control pad usage lol. When I had my first abscess drained the nurse said to get a small panty liner and use it in my underwear to catch the drainage, with some gauze wedged in my crack (too be graphic lol). They were bulky and uncomfortable, so I just trimmed them to a better size/shape with scissors and made sure I kept the sticky back. Worked ok.
After this last almost 4 months of constant D from antibiotics and drainage I use these mays drug brand women's bladder control pads. They're cheap, large, easy to cut, and kinda fluffy. I wear boxer briefs so it's easy to stick in place and it stays there and catches stuff..and I've had to throw out so much less underwear.
It sounds horrible and humiliating, etc...maybe I should create a product and market it for men with crohns...anyway..no reason it wouldn't be great for catching a shart and then quick cleanup. Just pretend it was made for that purpose lol..

*I do carry a "crohns emergency kit". I just shove my meds, some tp, wet wipes, calmoseptine, sitz bag, extra underwear, gauze, pads, into my laptop bag. Nice security and I haul it around alot anyway.
 
My son actually takes a "code brown" kit with him to school in his backpack. He has chronic sharts. He has an appendicostomy to flush his colon because it doesn't work very well. It's a wonderful creation.

The system we use for him is a bag of flushable wipes, thin lightweight pads, and new undies. He can either choose to just change or to use the pads or any combination based on how he's feeling about it at the moment.

He was leaving his sharts in his underwear because he was afraid of asking his teachers to help with clean up. So we came up with the code words "code brown." This has been a godsend.

So I am no stranger to the shart... just rather new at being the sharter. I can picture myself jettisoning my soiled panties in a garbage bin in a bathroom, cleaning up with spit and toilet paper, and going commando. I am so not prepared to be the sharter. There should be a familial shart quota and my kid has already surpassed ours. I want a free pass.
 
Personally, between panti liners and the bladder control liners, I prefer the latter. And I try to find the ones that have odor control added in (we all know we worry about that, whether it be with farts or sharts.
 
I'm very careful never to let anything pass when in public. I can never trust myself! Being a girl I always go for sanitary towels if I am worried. My accidents are always night time or morning, so usually I don't have to carry an emergency kit.

The worst is waking up to find everything sitting there..
 
I've never had a wake up present. I can't imagine how frustrating that is. My son has them often, but since he's still in diapers at night it's not a big deal. I am going to pay close attention to how people deal with the chronic sharts as adults so that I can have plenty of ideas as he gets older.
 
Oh man, I really hate it. For me it's not knowing how long it's been there that is awful.. I think making light of it though is a good thing, and being able to joke about it (even if only afterwards) makes it much easier to bear.
 
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