I'd like to dedicate this to anybody in a hormonal flare

[GutlessWonder86]

here's a poem I just wrote as I'm in a very bad Crohn's flare due to that time of the month. I'm praying for menopause right now as I've been perimenopausal for a few yrs. now. Anyway, here's my poem:

Hormonal Poem by Gutless Wonder


DAMN!!!! It hurts!!!


Thank you. (Gutless Wonder has left the building to take something to put her out of her misery and NO, it's not smokes or hooch, she knows better. lol)

FEEL BETTER my female friends!!

 

[Astra]

ha ha ha crackin!

I had a hysterectomy, best bloody thing I've ever done in my life!!

 

[Crohn's 35]

Hey Gw I am right there with ya, not exactly right now...geez everyone is in menopause but me :crab:

 

[GutlessWonder86]

Well, I just gave Ike, rather he gave me a bath. I'm done now for the day. I'm sweating like a pig. I did laundry, vacummed, did dishes, that is IT. I want to be in MENOPAUSE NOW!!!! Wouldn't have to worry about these darn CD flares. geez louis.

Muscle relaxers do work when I'm cramping down there thank God but for my gut, I need some more potent stuff that I can only take every 8 hrs. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... :crab:


Anyway, glad you gals are enjoying my poems. Makes me happy when I write them. hee hee hee

 

[GutlessWonder86]

Part 2 of my poem:


OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE!!!!!! :eek2:



Gutless Wonderwoman has left the building to take something for relief.

Have a good weekend fellow IBDers. More exciting adventures to come in the next few months for all...... hee hee hee

 

[duck68]

Haha...love your poetry. I have had a hysterectomy so thankfully I don't have to put up with the monthly pains on top of the rest of it...but I do feel for you all if you are having to put up with it...

have a great weekend!

 

[GutlessWonder86]

Here we go again---

Second verse same as the first.....wishing men grew a uterus!!!

OW OW OW OW OW............. (GW off to take something to put her outta her misery)

 

[Guest]

pmsl!! :lol2:

your poems are awesome!

but - don't wish the menopause on yourself too quickly... it sucks. i've been battling with pre-menopause symptoms for years, and lately full-on menopause. what with the horrendous flushes, headaches, & generally feeling like a wrung out dishcloth, it's no fun. and uh - i'm now on HRT, so i'm trying to get acquainted with my new inflated boobs. (hot flushes & headaches have gone tho - yay!)

 

[Dexky]

Here we go again---

Second verse same as the first.....wishing men grew a uterus!!!

OW OW OW OW OW............. (GW off to take something to put her outta her misery)

If it was renamed woman-opause would you leave the hateful remarks about us innocent bystanders out of your barbed poetry!!!! What did we do to deserve your ire anyway??

 

[VintageAnn]

I definitely think you should be published! I had all of that female stuff yanked from my body 3 years ago. Best thing I ever did. I still have my ovaries thank god. So I now get to blame everything on my hormones. My husband and sons fear me. I really like that.

Snuggle up with a heating pad, trashy magazines and a bag of skittles. You'll be right as rain in no time.

 

[Crohn's 35]

If it was renamed woman-opause would you leave the hateful remarks about us innocent bystanders out of your barbed poetry!!!! What did we do to deserve your ire anyway??

:nonono:NOW your gonna get it!! When MEN can have babies, periods, menopause and let the woman have 5 seconds of bliss, THEN you can come back here!!!

I am with Vintage Ann, I am a nice person but everyone runs like oil on water when I am in my crabby moods... my husband is grateful for a garage 150ft away from the house, his own stereo :kello:

 

[GutlessWonder86]

I'm sorry Dexky but like I said before until men grow a uterus and can handle painful cramps let alone give birth to little people who will one day grow up to become teenagers that will get on our nerves as well on top of dealing with a hormonal flare of Crohn's........... I don't know how women do it but we do it!! We deserve our moment and hell yes, we are GONNA TAKE IT AND RUN WITH IT!!!! :biggrin:

Dingbat--I've been perimenopausal for a few years now...sux big time. My cycles are all over, night sweats causing me to sleep with a towel around my head, gotta love those hot flashes, oh and when I'm hot, hubby's cold and vice versa lol. Just wish this crap were over with.

 

[DustyKat]

Haha Dex, how dumb were you to post in here, or do you just like being put in your place........lash, lash.......LMFAO!

Dusty,

 

[gypsigirl28]

I can relate to the hot flashes, had complete hys.. 8 yrs ago. Night sweats sux I use fan year around..

Dex... are you crazy or just glutting for punishment??? You will never hear the end to this one. lmao

 

[Crohn's 35]

Thank you. (Gutless Wonder has left the building to take something to put her out of her misery and NO, it's not smokes or hooch, she knows better. lol)

FEEL BETTER my female friends!!

Soooooooo Dexky you trying to tell us something um maybe... Gluton for punishment lol.

I am assuming getting red in the face is a symtom?

 

[Pirate]

Janis has been in pre-menopause for a couple of years now. Last year she had to have a hysterectomy. She also had her overies left. She was having a period for almost 4 months and was really weak and run down. Finally got her to see her OBGYN and in she went. It was finally me sitting and worrying instead of the other way around.
My heart goes out all of you and would like to tell you that women are the greatest creation God made. To be able to give birth, raise a family (put up with us men), endure periods and menopause is to me the most amazing thing.
I couldn't do it. I offer my hand to help you step up onto the Pedestal that you have earned.
(My mom gave birth to and raised 10 kids. Without her I wouldn't have been here.)

 

[Crohn's 35]

Janis has been in pre-menopause for a couple of years now. Last year she had to have a hysterectomy. She also had her overies left. She was having a period for almost 4 months and was really weak and run down. Finally got her to see her OBGYN and in she went. It was finally me sitting and worrying instead of the other way around.
My heart goes out all of you and would like to tell you that women are the greatest creation God made. To be able to give birth, raise a family (put up with us men), endure periods and menopause is to me the most amazing thing.
I couldn't do it. I offer my hand to help you step up onto the Pedestal that you have earned.
(My mom gave birth to and raised 10 kids. Without her I wouldn't have been here.)

:award2: I nominate this post for post of the week!!!

 

[GutlessWonder86]

Thank you Pirate for that wonderful compliment. I wish more men thought like you instead of looking at us like objects who have no feelings or emotions whatsoever.
:thumleft::thumleft:

 

[Crohn's 35]

He also saved his a$$ in the process!:ylol2:

 

[Pirate]

Why would I want to save my a$$? It has caused me more problems the last 24 years then I care to have dealt with. lol.

I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a wife that never suffered from all the cramping and she has never taken her discomfort out on anyone. Womanhood is a gift because only the strenght of a woman could deal with having a period and dealing with Crohns at the same time.

 

[Crohn's 35]

Why would I want to save my a$$? It has caused me more problems the last 24 years then I care to have dealt with. lol.

I have been lucky enough to be blessed with a wife that never suffered from all the cramping and she has never taken her discomfort out on anyone. Womanhood is a gift because only the strenght of a woman could deal with having a period and dealing with Crohns at the same time.

and putting up with MEN :shifty-t:

As long as we are treated like a lady and avoid those "do I look fat in this dress" questions, you can't go wrong! No matter who you answer it you are dead man :lol:

:shantel:

 

[Pirate]

Penny, I got one question. Why in the heck do you ladies ask us that question. Is it just because you want to see us suffer. lol
Janis asks me that all the time and I always try to answer it truthfully. She'd be upset if I said no and some one else told her it did. I think its better to just say it. In a nice way though.

 

[Crohn's 35]

My hubby says it is a no win win answer. That question is why the men just need to avoid it. My hubby tries and says I am cute....damn these sleeping pills work... Going try and finish this a go to bed,Lucy catches my mistakes! nighty night.

Haha, never take sleeping pills and type on here lol. Even I didnt understand what I said :ylol:

 

[Pirate]

lol, Night Penny. Don't forget to turn out................... to late.

 

[GutlessWonder86]

Pirate,

I'd like to nominate you for Man of the Year for being so kind and considerate toward all of us women who have Crohn's and are going through our monthly "moments".

Thank you so much for your understanding. You should write a book and publish it so all the other ignorant schmucks out there, I'm talking about those we have to deal with daily who constantly tell us "but you don't LOOK SICK" and you just want to slap them up side the head or kick their tushy into next week, get it through their thick skull that what we have is real and we are not faking it.

Better yet, there should be a pill that simulates our symptoms for a day that they have to take to see what it's like for us. Yeah, that's it. I'd love for my ex boss to double over in pain and have a sore @ss and spasming gut for 24 hrs. AND I'd love to write her up for not meeting office standards AND I'd have her ASK me to go to the bathroom like I had to. (the beotch that she was).




I nominate Pirate for post of the week/month/year.




:award2::award2:

 

[jamilea]

Yea, I have some raging hormones myself. My poor husband.

I go into fit rages and don't even realize it until I've already done the damage, someone's toe is bleeding, I'm yelling like a possessed demon at my husband to get out of the bathroom and he innocently says with a boy face:

"But honey, my toe is bleeding because you slammed it in the door"

In my demon possessed voice I say back "Well, so is my vagina, get out, get out, get out!"

And then I think it's the end of the world and our marriage. The poor guy. He leaves for hours and talks to me on the phone saying "Can I pray with you? I'm not coming home until you calm down."

I was periodless for 10 months and we didn't know what was going on prior. I had NO knowledge that it was coming, not even one clue.

I really have to find a way to get it under control. If they were regular, I could track them and do things to prevent things like the above. I feel so horrible after it happens and so shameful. I really don't mean to be like that.

My husband is a God send.....:mbh: