I'm fat

[cheeky]

i'm fat

:depressed:

so i'm fat. this is depressing. i was at a decent weight, and after medications and i guess 'getting better', my appetite hasn't been normal, i.e. i continue to eat crap and feel hungry... before, i liked that i could eat a lil something and stop. i'd feel okay with small portions (or have no appetite at all)... i was even exercising.

but now... i'm a mess.

my skin has broken out (i guess my skin could be worse, it is beginning to clear up but i'm scared it won't ever get right)... and i'm fat.

a few people i know say that they know someone with Crohn's Disease "she's just so skinny!' ... not me, i'm one of the fat crohnies now.

i thought that my appetite would calm down, and the weight gain would gradually come off (even if not entirely, at least a good amount of it)... i'm up 30 pounds... all gained within 2 months or a little less.

crazy.

it's like, when i felt terrible on the inside, i looked better on the outside (decent weight, clear/glowing skin).... and now that my symptoms are more under control and i feel 'better' on the inside (well not mentally)... i look horrible on the outside. i'm just ashamed and disappointed in myself...

i'll be seeing a nutritionist soon... hope it helps.

*end of vent *

 

[jamie2462]

girrrrrrrl. Do I hear you!! I am also on the chubby end of my weight at the moment...January I was down 35 lbs...but now...oh heck ya...you can believe me when I say that it is ALLLLLL back on.

are you on the prednisone??? Just keep telling yourself it's water retention..it helps. There is nothing you can do about how the drugs affect you...just work on doing things that give you some enjoyment...and do things with friends or family occasionally to ensure that you are still getting your social time in...I know how hard that can be when you really don't want to go out for one reason or another...

Take care of you and the rest will eventually settle down or work itself out. As much as the waiting sucks...you can do it. Find a comfort food...if you are on those drugs and starving...mine is popsicles...empty nutrients but I was really always dehydrated especially in the evenings so I could easily pop 3 of them in an evening. Find out what works for you.

 

[teeny5]

I totally feel where you are coming from. I was way too skinny when I was sick, but then hit a decent weight once I began feeling better. If only I could have stayed at that weight. Now I feel like I am hungry all the time and can't stop eating. I gained all the weight I had lost and then some. Totally sucks.

 

[cheeky]

thanks for your replies jamie and teeny...

@jamie, the weight began to come on at the tail end of pred, but i didn't break out then... my skin was fine. but during my transition onto imuran, i've gained more weight...

my GI says that the weight gain is in response to my body becoming 'healthy' again... i've also heard it's because eating so little before puts your body in starvation mode, so when you begin eating more, your body quickly holds on to any fat it can...something like that... plus it doesn't help that my motivation for exercising decreased...

i'm also not sure if the weight gain and skin changes are related to hormonal stuff going on (i made another thread about ovaries and cysts blah blah a while back)... so i need to look into that more.

i admit, i need to get back to eating healthier... and exercise... but i dunno what it is, i've been craving a lot of crappy foods...and not feeling full as easily.

i think if i try to clear my system of the bad carbs for 48 hours, the cravings will decrease, that's worked before.

also, i'll do my best to follow the nutritionist's advice.

in the meantime, i went shopping for new clothes, more figure flattering even with the extra pounds... i think when i realized some of my clothes weren't fitting me, i felt down.

i'm a bit better today.

 

[misscris]

Hey Cheeky, and everybody else of course. I'm new to the forum and new to Crohn's too. I've been lurking the past few days trying to understand this disease and people's response to it and where I fit in! First reply I've done ... so lets hope I do ok. hahah

I got the diagnosis almost 2 months ago while in the hospital recovering from an unexpected surgery. I never really had many symptoms, and still don't have that many. But on topic of this post, I'm fat too and have never in my life been skinny. I've been healthy weight or overweight, but never skinny ... and all I ever hear when I mention that I have crohn's is the immediate response of "my friend has crohns and she's really skinny". Hmm.. I missed that bus. Not that I would want to be having the effects of Crohn's to make me skinny because I can tell from people's posts that it's not desirable or fun, but I think you get what I'm saying. hehe

I'm not on any medications yet, supposed to be picking one, so I can't even blame that. Before my surgery I didn't have much of an appetite, I ate because I needed to to stay moving. Now that I've recovered from my surgery I'm eating more crap then I ever used to and I can't seem to feel full easily either. Which is odd because before any of this even happened I was never a huge eater or over eater. But I suddenly don't feel full either. Odd.

Hopefully this all works out for us all. It's been great reading stories and seeing that someone else can relate. I'm trying to make my way through it all too.

Glad to see you're feeling better about the weight gain and such today. I personally just try to not let it bother me either, but we're only human after all.

 

[cheeky]

awww hi misscris WELCOME! i'm glad you could relate to what we're talking about in this thread, and decided to post!

ya, all of us are different. i think it boils down to many different factors when it comes to the weight... i mean, i'm also a crohnie that doesn't get diarrhea, so every case is unique. i have been told i'm an 'atypical' crohn's patient.

my weight has been up and down over the years... i either lose it very easily or gain it very easily.... there have been times where i've lost 40 pounds and even 60 pounds! but i was also exercising... but the only thing i know for sure is when i flare really badly, i do lose a bit of weight without trying (at least the months right before i was diagnosed that's how it was).

we are human, and i have to get my mind back to the attitude i was having a couple months ago, weight can come and go, but my health is what matters most.

it seems like when i stop overthinking the weight thing, it usually begins to come off gradually... so i will be more positive again.

thanks ladies!

 

[JillianB82]

I feel your pain luv! I gained 20lbs since Aug. You're not alone!!!!

 

[ChefShazzy]

Yeah, I know what you all mean - my clothes have been a little tighter on me lately... Nothing like going around thinking you are bulging out of everything. A few new items in the wardrobe might do me some good. Ugh! I hate shopping for bigger clothes! I am a size 14/16 when I am sick, but then on prednisone I'm more like a 18/20. I seem to hold all the weight in my stomach area. I have to shop at different stores when I fluctuate between those sizes... It sucks!

At least with summer being here, it's a good time to get outdoors and be active. However, for me, summers have meant ice cream and frozen drinks in the past... gonna have to watch out for that!

 

[GoJohnnyGo]

Geez...

I've gone from ten pounds under to ten pounds over in the course of a year.

I feel a whole lot better now, so I guess I can live with it. But then, I'm a guy.

I don't mind chunky women. Seriously I think too many women are preoccupied with this issue and a lot of us fellers don't mind.

 

[ladyscarlett]

I am a newbie...this is also my very first post. Lurking as you have at first. I was dx in 2005 then went into remission almost immediately on ASACOL. No wt loss then. Went to a doc who said I was doing TOO GOOD on ASACOL so I couldn't have Crohns...he told me to stop the med and see what happens. As I write I watch the IV fluids flow into my veins!! HE WAS WRONG!! Within two months I had a major flare up... in a matter of six weeks I lost 40lbs. I"m almost at my GOAL wt (hehehe) Weird thing is the wt loss is something I needed and I fear getting too much of my appetite back cause I don't want the wt gain back. I was told the prednisone would increase my appetite but so far not yet...

I have so so so many questions. Just found out my WBCs are up. My hemoglobin was at 8.5 but no transfusion ordered. (btw I'm a RN and still at a loss)

I know I'm jumping around .....it is my first post and my mind is just reeling.

 

[merrywidow]

i am fat, and i dont care.
sharon xx

 

[fenway1971]

i've always been skinny until i started taking prednisone. my assistant thinks i'm pregnant which would be a modern wonder of science if true. . .

is the weight gain mostly bloat? water retention? if so, drink LOTS of water. it does help. . .

 

[wildfire313]

I think every woman worries about this issue. In fact, I think you could probably call it an obsession. Personally, I think there should be variety.

I will never be twiggy - but then I like betty boop better, anyway.

 

[misscris]

I think every woman worries about this issue. In fact, I think you could probably call it an obsession. Personally, I think there should be variety.

I will never be twiggy - but then I like betty boop better, anyway.

I'm pretty content with where I am weight wise, just seems odd to hear everybody talking about Crohns and being super skinny then look down at yourself and go .... hmm... really?

hehe ... Betty Boop. Gotta love those curves!! :lol:

 

[cheeky]

ya, i know realistically, i'm not at an very unhealthy size or look extremely big... i carry the extra weight fairly well (i was 128 pounds and now i'm 155-158), but my concern comes from the weight gain coming on so rapidly ...and feeling like my weight fluctuation is a constant issue.

i would be content to be average weight... not necessarily skinny... and i want to maintain and feel good about myself.

and like misscris mentioned, it's weird to have this problem when people tend to associate being underweight with Crohn's typically.

then again, i guess i do fit in when it comes to 'weight fluctuation' because i know that even underweight Crohnies tend to have fluctuations here and there as well... just probably not a large amount of weight.

anyway, i think a lot of this is mental, because today i notice that my appetite has decreased.... i'm wondering if it's starting to get better. lol we'll see.

 

[kello82]

then again, i guess i do fit in when it comes to 'weight fluctuation' because i know that even underweight Crohnies tend to have fluctuations here and there as well... just probably not a large amount of weight.

even if its not large as in number of pounds it could still be large percantage wise.
a 20 lb weight loss on a 100 lb person is the same as a 25 lb weight loss on a 125 lb person, right?

for me though, an underweight crohnie, the number of pounds i fluctuate IS a large amount.
went from 124 to 83 in 6 or so months.
almost 40. thats a lot!

 

[cheeky]

yeah kello, that is a lot of weight loss on an already small person, and i see what you're saying. i shouldn't have made that generalization, as i know i have seen some underweight crohnies tell their stories of extreme weight loss or in some cases gain from medications.

well, an update regarding this topic.

it's super weird, since sunday, my appetite has significantly decreased... though i am still eating...just less frequently and lesser amounts... not as little eating as it was when i was flaring badly before, cuz at that time i couldn't have more than a few bites (if anything at all)...

but as of today i'm down 4 pounds.

all i can think of that may have been influencing this change is:

a) as of Sunday, i've been on Imuran 150 mg for exactly 3 months... so maybe there's been a shift in my body chemistry now, and the medication has entirely kicked in?

b) i began taking vitamin B complex as of sunday... i notice that i have had diarrhea once a day since monday....nothing painful or alarming, but it seems to be the vitamin that's causing it. also i've been having a bit more fibre, so it's likely both of these things.

i'll monitor my appetite and other things, to make sure this doesn't mean a flare up is on it's way.

 

[Aimee]

Yep im fat too LOL put on about 15kgs in the span of 3 months !!! Stupid meds

 

[NatalieMT]

I'm sure no one here is really fat, we all come in different sizes and proportions. I suppose dealing with a lifelong illness that is difficult to control you have to cut yourself some slack even if you do gain a lot of weight.

I am marginally underweight at present, back in January I was at a very much anorexic BMI, I gained back about half of what I lost but it's slipping off again now. I have an intense fear of eating I suppose partly due to the Crohn's and partly due to other issues. I don't hit 1000 calories a day very often but I used to go like 3 days on a scrambled egg, when you feel awful it's hard to want anything inside you.

I can totally relate to your feeling of being so ill yet thinking you look so much better. When I was released from hospital in January I was skeletal but I thought I looked fine and my skin did look really good I have to give myself that ha ha!

I'm glad your appetite is down a little and you've lost a few pounds, I'm sure that's got to be a mental boost. Just pray for you that it isn't a flare up, take care!