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xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx

xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx

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Ok guys, its time I sort myself out!
For the past few months now, due to my disease I have been feeling rly down. Telling myself I hate my life, crying all the time etc etc! You all know what I mean because we all go through it.
Anyway this weekend I had a massive wake up call and made me realise I really need to turn myself around. Basicly I had a massive fight with my boyfriend and we nearly broke up, well we actualy did. But after I pretty much begged him tht we try again we decided to look at our relationship and fix the bad parts.
Alot of it was me.
Me and my attitude to my life, me always going to him about it and putting massive strains onto him and making him feel bad too.
This just isnt fair and I hate it as much as he does. So anyway, now I am trying to turn myself around and have more of a positive attitude.
So as i know alot of us go through similar things, I want to try and make this thread rly positive and all tell our stories and help each other try and stay happy. We are all guna have our ups and downs, it would be great if we could try and cheer each other up!
The biggest change for me is guna be that im guna try and start having counselling. I dont know if it will help but it is worth a try. I just want to try and feel happy with who I am and my disease.
So who's with me? :p
xxxxx
 
I'm with ya!
The disease is rough so don't feel bad or alone when depression hits; give yourself some time to feel bad and hate life and etc; come on here and vent that is what we are here for. THEN focus on the positives and LAUGH! You gotta laugh!
 
I think you've made the first big step by deciding to change the way you look at and act about your disease. It's okay to be down...I mean, this disease is hell!

It took me quite some time to learn to be more upbeat around people, and when I was having a bad day ...do something constructive...write about it...that always helps...or...on a really bad day I will go to my room, shut the door and scream into my pillow "I Hate Crohn's!!"...this last one really helps and I find afterward I come out with a smile on my face. :)

It's hard...really hard and I often think of the loved ones around us who must be equally as worried about what is going to happen next with this disease, when the next flare might be, as much as we are.

Counseling would probably help and I don't know if you are on an anti depressant or not but I find they help as well.

When you're having a bad time...come in here and vent...we're all in the same boat and understand how you feel. We're here to listen.

All the best...

Big hugs~Nancy
 
When I feel down it only makes me feel worse!
It's pretty important to enjoy life. When I feel down I like to vent and play some Guitar Hero. ;)
 
Good for you girl.....I must watch way too many children's movies, but I always sing to my self..."Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" From 'Finding Nemo'....Positive attitude goes such a long way. I'm glad you made a conscious decision to feel better.
 
Hi Littlemiss,

Hey c'mon my friend. . .you are far too pretty to worry and you are only 18.

The biggest thing that you must commend yourself on is that you have realised that what is getting you down and causing a rift between you and your boyfriend is your illness. . . . . . . .

NOW. . . .The next thing to remember is the illness isn't your fault ! ! !

Stand up tall and stick out your chest . . . .you are young attractive and have your whooooooole life ahead of ya !!

Good luck to you littlemiss. . .

Big hugs an' all that

Bruscar
 
Good for you LMV way to take control of what you can, attitude can carry us a long way. Be patient with yourself and wishing all the best for you.
 
LMV yes we do know the feeling. I learned after having really bad thoughts for a long, long time that I have to look at every aspect of this D as something funny.

When I have had an accident I just take care of it and have a laugh. I will even share the incedent with friends just to have a laugh. My nickname is Poopy Pants to my best friends.

My wife is my biggest rock because she is naturally bubbly. We have shared CD from day one. She is always positive and always reminds me that others have it worse. So she has made me look at it as " If I have to have a cronic diease it is better to have CD than something like lung cancer or cerabel palsy, etc." I am alive and can control this monster or I can let it control me and give up.

I laugh at everything now. I've blown veins starting IVs and got into a bi-cep measuring contest with the nurses (I won by 1/4 of an inch). I 've had interns walk into the bathroom when I had my gown around my knees while I was sitting on my throne. That poor little blond girl turned so red in the face. But what made it funny was the fact that she opened the door a second time to apologize. My GP told me that I should really start using my wife exercise bike that is in the basement. I told her I couldn't cause I was scared of the basement. (She didn't fall for it.)

Keep your chin up little sister cause things have a way of working its self out. We are stuck with this monster but we cannot let it control every part of our lives. That is from my wife.
 
i agree - counselling can make such a difference, more than we realise until we've actually experienced it! go for it, LMV, and well done on making this big decision. :)
 
Thanks everyone :)
Your support is soooo helpful, I meen if u guys can be happy there is no reason why I cant be. I dont think it is helping my mood that I am so tired all the time and its turning into winter tho. But still, have to try and be happy. :)

Peaches- I'm 18. I dont think I would be trying to change if I hadnt had almost lost my boyfriend or if I had lost him. It was just such a massive wake up call.

xxx
 
You're right about the tiredness and the winter.. waking up in the dark and cold doesn't help my mood a lot. I think you should give the counselling a try... let us know if it helps.
 
We all have our low points mine was just the other night when I was repeating to myself 'I don't want this disease anymore' repeatedly. It didnt work.

I find great solace in music - this morning got up in the freezing cold and put on Fleetwood Mac's 'The Chain' and just rocked the hell out whilst making my breakfast. Good times.

I think Pirate hit the nail on the head when he says that we don't even know what real pain is really. Ours is a small gnawing pain compared to those who's minds are destroyed and warped by other illnesses. In comparison we got off lightly, and we owe it to those who don't even have a chance at life to live ours fully. Don't use this life as a waiting room! And if you don't believe me read Fyodor below me! He knew it too!
 
I also had a change of heart after watching my Father-in-law live with liver and colon cancer. The Drs gave him from 3 weeks to 3 months and he lived 3 yrs. He had his colon removed and wore a bag for those 3 years and always looked at it as a gift. He could drive for a long time and never have to stop for a potty break. He was in a lot of pain the last few months but never complained and never gave up. I lost a great friend but learned a huge lesson from him.

K- I really like that saying. "Don't use this life as a waiting room. "
I couldn't have summed it up any better.
 
Counselling is a good thing Holly! I hope you have a person you can really work well with. If not, make sure you get someone else as this is a really important relationship that can make such a huge impact!
 
I've had this exact same wake-up call several times in the past. Tell your boyfriend to remind you if you start going through a period of depression. It will help as after a while you will start to see the signs of depression coming. I commend you greatly for turning from the negative feelings. Last bir of advice, is to write down your thoughts and then forget them.

Best of luck, I'll be praying for you
 
Thanks for the prayers Jeff- it means alot. Im seeing my boyfriend again tomoro, first time since the wake up call! Im hoping everything will be ok. I'm really looking forward to see him. I just want us to have fun again rather than me bringing the mood down. Fingers crossed everyone!!
xxxx
 
This sickness can be really taxing on a relationship. In my past relationships it was hard to explain what the situation is like. I could understand that they wanted to go out to the bars every week-end but there were times with flare-ups that it felt like I was being kicked in the stomach, the important thing that always helped me was to make them understand that even though I am too sick to go sometimes that must not stop them. otherwise they felt trapped always with the sick person and it put a huge strain on the relationships.

Hope this helps.
 
In my situation, My wife and I have been through this together from day one. We had been married for 8 yrs with 3 young boys when first diognosed so it was a little easier than if I had CD before we had met. Some people tend to avoid others with illnesses.
Of course it did help because of the way Janis was raised. She truely is a caring person that will go out of her way to help others and always has a kind word for others. I was blessed when I met her.
 
I had my first counselling session today.
I dnt rly know how it went! Made me feel sad coz I had to bring everything up and think about it!
Anyway she wants to see me agian after xmas and has booked me in for 6 weeks. Dont rly know how I feel about it. I dont know if it will actualy help.
:/
xxxx
 
Hey good luck with the counselling Holli, I am going for a hypnosis/counselling session tomorrow - I realised I need to work on my anger about this disease.

It's hard for partners - my husband is used to me being the most upbeat and exuberant person in his life - no matter what we had to face I was always the one who could see light at the end of the tunnel or the bright side of every situation. Recently, however I have turned into the snot and tears demon and he is wondering what the hell happened to his sparky wife of 13 years who was always ready for a party and now goes pale at the thought of popping round to the corner shop!

So I have decided to grab a bit of control back from my bowels - the mind is so closely linked to the gut - my misery must be having an impact... I don't like admitting that I could possibly have anything psychological going on - after all I have 2 Psychology degrees! I can't bear the thought of admitting that my own stress reactions could be affecting my health, but the fact is they do!

Time to grab the bull by the horns, start the mission - healthy mind-healthy body!

I'm with you all the way Holli - good luck and keep going with it even if you feel a bit unsure at first!

HUGS!

Lishyloo x
 
Thanks you two :)
Good luck with everything tomorow Lishyloo :) I know exactly what you meen about the whole changing personality thing. Its exactly the same with me and my boyfriend even tho we havnt been together as long as you and your husband obviously!
How does he cope with it all?
x x x x x
 
Hi Holly. just one word describes how our other half copes. LOVE. Being with the right person who accepts us with all our flaws and gives us love unconditionally.
Janis and I have been married 31 years and we love being together and doing everything together. She left for the weekend (girls weekend) to stay at my mom's so I have the house to myself. I miss her already.

I think of her when I hear certain songs, smell certain smells.

It's not all roses, but you grow together and learn to know each others little habits and most of all never go to bed mad at each other. Always talk things out and get it settled first.

Another good piece of advice "Listen without defending, speak without offending."

Remember- LOVE - it works for everything.
 
Hi Little Miss
I don't know what drugs you are on but some of them list mood swings in their side effects - it might be worth taking a look there and see if any small changes your consultant and you can make with your meds might help things. Don't do it on your own though - get some advice. Keep your chin up - if your boyfriend is supportive he's worth hanging on to.
 
Miss Rose- I had a look but I couldnt see anything in the side effects there.
At my counselling session we were talking about how they didnt offer me any psychological or nutritional advise tho!
Its a load of rubbish! I think its coz the GI's are a bit power crazy! They just think that they can sort you out and you dont need anyone else. Makes me a bit cross!
x x x x x
 
Well if we are going to turn scopes and this into positive things I think its quite funny the laughs my family gets from me being sedated for these stupid things. Now twice apparently I've skipped out of the hospital in a wheelchair and was giving the thumbs up to everyone who walked by me. I also posted somewhere else I suggested to my sister that they start making febreeze underwear to mask farts. My family has always had some great laughs at my situations. Also when they make you pass the gas after the test my mom was on the floor laughing because she had never heard me fart like that before because I've never really been able to before Crohn's. Also I've worn a birthday hat with big fake candals sticking out of it, sang, talked to the poor lady laying in the bed next to me about why she was all curled up funny (She apparently was in a lot of pain but I don't remember a thing haha), farted in a nurses face, told a poor nurse she was evil because she had taken my blood and then given me an IV and im deathly afraid of needles, and said a lot of embarassing and stupid things that I am so so glad I only said to my girlfriend and not my mom! I'm just glad somebody likes the colonoscopies because I really don't remember a thing all those stories have been told to me.:p
 

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