Just needed someone who understands

[Crohn'sGirl]

Just having a really bad night and needed to vent to people who understand. I am not even having an angry night more crying and frustration. I'm so sick of being sick! I hate not being able to eat what I used to eat. My husband (out of anger) stated not everyone gets to stay in bed all weekend and do nothing while he goes to work. What he doesnt get is that I am in bed all weekend recouping from the 40+ hour work week I just put in to support the family. I know he tries and he is not a bad husband I just dont think he gets this. We just celebrated our one year anniversary and I was too sick to even get up out of bed. I feel its so unfair to him to have sick wife the whole year we are supposed to be newlyweds. I have had two one week long hospital stays since we got married and multiple trips to the ER. I feel like such a failure as a wife. And forget the thought of kids right now. I know we should wait and I want to for alittle while, but being told by multiple people that I should wait because of how sick I am and it's not fair to bring a child into the relationship while I can barely take care of myself and all that is just an ugly reminder I may not get better in the next couple years. I am trying to get into remission cause trust me I have dealt with this way too long for my comfort level, but it doesnt happen over night. I am in the middle of switching GI doctors cause the one I have would look at me like I had two heads when I said things like, " Am I really supposed to be bleeding this much all the time everytime I go to the bathroom?" He said well thats weird but no tests were run or nothing. I just dont understand why things have to happen to me when I was in the prime of life. I mean I knew I had some issues when I started loosing weight real fast junior year of college and having trouble and pain when I went to the bathroom. I was finally diagnosed with Crohn's in Nov 2010 after 4 different doctors and multiple tests and "diagnoses". I graduated college in 2010 with my Bachelors degree in Social Work (the first person in my entire family to hold a Bachelors degree), started my wonderful "big girl" job as I would call it in July, got married in August and then was diagnosed in Nov and hospitalized in Dec and that was just 2010. It has gotten worse since I have gone to doctors and I am truthfully just sick of it all! Sorry to all as I know there are worse people out there than me. I have never had to have surgery for my CD which I am grateful for. There has been talk of it, but so far put it off. It is just so frustrating for me to deal with people who think I am just being lazy and not eating on purpose when in reality I wish I could walk a mile without being out of strength. I wish I could just eat whatever whenever and not be running to the bathroom the second I take a bite. I mean gee wiz I hate going out to eat with my husband or to the movies cause I cant stay and enjoy time with him cause I'm running to the bathroom! I wish I had a more normal life. I just really needed to vent tonight.

 

[MADiMarc]

Oh, Crohns girl, you are not crazy...you are not lazy and you are not alone! Your story touched me deeply. I too was diagnosed 6 months after I was married. I was 19 and my husband (still is my husband) was 23. It was a very, very hard year. There were times I was so weak that he would have to carry me to the potty. It is a very big adjustment all around. The first year of marriage is suppose to be about little fights and makeup sex, not ER visits, doctors that think they know best and blood coming out of your butt. But that's what we were given. You will get through this. I read this to my husband (hope you don't mind) and his advise to your husband? Get a hobby. I was very lucky, my first GI was a wonderful guy and he just laid it all out to my Joe. Remember, this was 26 years ago, so many treatment options available now were not then. You will achieve remission! If you don't like your GI, get someone you are comfortable with. Maybe you can write your husband a letter, explaining how you feel when you are laying in bed. I too spent many weekends in bed recovering from the week. Not so much now, but for a long time. It is hard balancing a new marriage, new career and new (damn it) disease too. Cry a little then sniffle it back. Anyone that can be a social worker is made of strong stuff! You will get through this!

Come and pour it out anytime. So many supportive people can be found here. They have helped me through many, many bad days and have helped me celebrate even more good days.

 

[Loriebird]

I understand! I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. It's hard to be with someone who is sick - about as hard as it is to be sick. I'm sure that your husband was speaking primarily out of frustration and anger at the disease - not you. The disease isn't in the room with him like you are, so you're probably the victim of friendly fire. Unfortunately, it happens. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry! I hope you feel better soon and get more good days to spend with your hubby.

 

[laurenjonesnow]

Hi CrohnsGirl,

I can totally relate, I was ready to cause my husband all kinds of harm earlier this week. Has he done any research into Crohns? Maybe you should print of some information for your husband so he can understand that tiredness is not a choice....

Well done on all your achievements btw!!

I hope you have had some answers on the bleeding, that doesn't sound good or comfortable at all.

Good luck and big hugs!