Lack of support

[seaofdreams]

I'm so angry and frustrated that I feel sick and I'm in tears.

My mum and boyfriend are the closest people I have in my life. Having Crohn's has isolated me so much and they are supposed to be my support system, sometimes I feel like they are all I have.

They are constantly on about how I eat. I don't have a very good diet and I am aware of this. I am very much an emotional eater and it's not about hunger, it's about how I'm feeling. It's almost like an addiction. Both of them are always commenting on my diet and how unhealthy I am, despite the fact that I excercise 5 days a week at least and it's the only "vice" I have. I'm a non-smoker and I don't drink alcohol or even caffeine.

Since being diagnosed, both of them have taken it upon themselves to be my diet advisors, suggesting that I have Crohn's because I eat so badly and that if I were to stop being such a fat pig that I would magically be cured. Neither of them have even attempted to find out about the disease at all and just assume that because I have a less than perfect diet and that the symtoms are digestion-related, that it must be my fault for eating bad food. It makes me feel like crap to know that the two people who are supposed to be my biggest supports both think that it's my fault that I'm sick and that I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

I should also mention that a typical day of food for me is:
Breakfast: Bowl of wheat flakes and lactose-free milk with orange juice and my multitude of vitamins, supplements and medications
Snacks through the day (only one or two per day): Vegemite crackers, pretzels, chips, raisin toast and other snacky type carb-loaded food
Lunch: Sandwich or soup and a chocolate bar or a handful of candy. Once a week I have a burger and hot chips.
Dinner: Small portion of meat and large portion of veggies
Dessert: Non-dairy icecream or a handful of candy

I'm having such a bad few weeks and it's really getting me down and all either of them can do is make horrible comments whenever I so much as reach for anything that has the tiniest amount of sugar or fat in it. I can't even have a discussion about it with either of them without any mention of "if you just eat well you'll feel so much better" My mum even tried bribing me into trying one of her stupid weight loss packet mix meal replacement diets.

I just want to be able to tell someone about how I'm feeling and not get a lecture on my diet. I've been doing so much research into how to manage my symptoms and what I do is my decision to make and I'm quite capable of making it. They both make me feel like they think I'm an idiot and that I'm too lazy to make myself better.

My mum is always commenting on my weight too and since telling her that I will be starting on prednisone, everytime I eat, she starts ranting about how I'm not going to even fit through the door soon if I keep eating like I do. When I try to talk to her about how much she is upsetting me she justifies it by saying that she is trying to help me but I don't see how making me feel even worse than I already do with being sick and depressed is going to help me in the long run.

Sorry this has been such a long post but I feel a little bit better after getting it off my chest. I just wish that I had someone to talk to who really understands how I'm feeling.

 

[D Bergy]

I do not know what to do about the nagging, but if there is one thing I would avoid more than anything else it is Milk of any kind. Milk contains the most likely bacteria that triggers symptoms.

http://www.johnes.org/handouts/files/ParatuberculosisCrohnsGot Milk.pdf

I am not much good at emotional support either, so I will leave that to someone better suited.

Good Luck

Dn

 

[shazamataz]

Shantel has said everything very well as usual!

It is hard enough being sick with peope nagging at you eh?

I haven;t had that really because I live on my own so noone really knows what I eat except for me.

My nagging from family is always about smoking, has been for years. I KNOW it is bad and I KNOW I need to stop, but hassling me about it does NOT help, just makes me feel bad and stresses me out. I have told my Dad this over and over and he just doesn;t get it. If a person has never had an addiction, then they do not understand how powerful it is. I have explained this to him over and over as well and he doesn't get that either. So, when he hassles me, it just makes me feel like lighting up 5 at once, just to annoy him!

Your diet doesn't sound bad at all! Perhaps cutting down on the sugar though would help. I have always been a sugar-addict as well and eating lollies (candy) always throughout the day but managed to stop that and don't even miss it. I started with allowing myself just one (instead of a handful) after dinner to get that sweet feeling and it seemed to do the trick, then one seemed silly so I stopped.

I find occasionally I will chew gum if I feel a desperate urge to put something in my mouth.

Hope you get some of the support you need eh?

Hugs

Shaz :Flower:

 

[seaofdreams]

Thanks so much for your replies. That was an interesting article Dan, I already find dairy to be a bit of a trigger for me but I assumed it was the lactose which is why I started on the lactose free milk which is the only dairy I have other than the occasional cheese slice on a sandwich.

My research has definately bought up the same thing you're saying Shantel, that diet isn't the only factor or sometimes even a major factor in controlling Crohn's but I do understand that cutting down on foods that aren't really helping my body would have a general benefit which is why I've been working on cutting down my starches and sugars.

Thanks Shaz, I hear that sugar isn't particularily great for us Crohnies. I'm trying to limit my lollie intake, I set myself a quota for the day, haha. If I have them with lunch I can't have then after dinner.

 

[crohnsproof]

Great advise from all. I would like to mention that not all food consumption works the same on every Crohn's patient. My doctors have all stated that I should eat what works for me. I pretty much know what sets me off and what doesn't. I can eat Pinto Beans (high fiber) and it calms my gut and diarrhea. Where as with someone else that would be disasterous. Seeing as smoking is linked to a 'cause' of Crohn's now, it might be better to stop smoking just for that reason. (coming from a former smoker, myself). I think the stress of the way you handle your families complaints are more harmful than the food issue.
Hang in there Nicci!
www.crohnsproof.com