One thing I have to say right now, which is actually a way for me to actually listen to my freakin stupid body. Okay first off a few months ago I for some reason got scared to go to the bathroom for a bowel movement. So after a week of holding it in I finally went to the bathroom. I would not say it really hurt but it was not a pleasurable experience. Then I went the next day and the next day vowing that I would go to the bathroom everytime my body tells me. Guess what, on the fourth day I did not go to the bathroom and again a week later and the same repeated. Now this happened till a few weeks ago when I went on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and then did not go for the rest of the week till Monday and this repeated for a month. Now I go much more regularly and am trying as much as possible to go to the bathroom when my body tells me to. The one problem happened though from this time of holding it in. Because I was holding it in a mass would just move to the end of my rectum and try poking out so to speak(sorry for the picture but this needs to come out) so I would keep holding it in and eventually I found stains on my underwear. So I started doing the when you bleed out your arse toilet paper thing when you put a paper their and it worked...for a while. Last Monday I went to take a shower and I knew I had to go since I had to go for a while but I was busy at work, ha I'm out of that hell hold March 12, so I wanted to just take a bath and take a crap after. So I wait and start getting stomach pains, not to be mistaken with Crohn's pains. I went the whole shower almost done when I am drying myself and for the first time I could not hold it and a piece just fell out. Ugh, disgusting so I hop on the toilet trying to not drip or anything while trying to figure out the best way to clean my bathtub without my parents hearing me and I had no pain but just a large mass came out. But afterwards I start getting a dull pain that starts in my anus and goes to my man's feature. Now I know I have a fissure and it is all because I have held in my crap.
So now that I have gotten all of that off my chest I want to promise and if I could I would do it in blood, didn't say my blood, that I will listen to my body. If it tells me to take a dump I will and now I have to live with the consequences of being a total idiot. For if I just was not scared of taking a crap in the first place I would not have a problem. I think that I still sometimes have a fear that I will take a crap and all of a sudden I will keel over in pain. That I will have all my problems again. Because the reason I started to get pains in the first place was because I held it in.
Now I will put my name down on this website www.crohnsforum.com that I Jeff D. will go and listen to his body and if he doesn't he will post that he did not and will get a beating from everyone here. So thanks for listening to this and now I am probably taking too much bandwidth.
So now that I have gotten all of that off my chest I want to promise and if I could I would do it in blood, didn't say my blood, that I will listen to my body. If it tells me to take a dump I will and now I have to live with the consequences of being a total idiot. For if I just was not scared of taking a crap in the first place I would not have a problem. I think that I still sometimes have a fear that I will take a crap and all of a sudden I will keel over in pain. That I will have all my problems again. Because the reason I started to get pains in the first place was because I held it in.
Now I will put my name down on this website www.crohnsforum.com that I Jeff D. will go and listen to his body and if he doesn't he will post that he did not and will get a beating from everyone here. So thanks for listening to this and now I am probably taking too much bandwidth.
anda:
