Not sure if I've been here long enough to just have a little rant/vent/moan, but I'm so fed up I'll risk it.
I'm so tired. I want more than anything to have an uninterupted night's sleep. I go to bed around 12.30am most nights, knowing I'll spend 7 hours getting gradually stiffer and sorer, until my gut tells me around 7.30 that I need to get up and go to the loo. It feels like I sleep in 5 minute bursts - every time I move, pain wakes me up.
I miss sleeping properly. I miss waking at 5 am, smirking at the clock, and going back to sleep. I miss being able to get out of bed without thinking about how I'm going to do it, as I can't use my hands/wrists to help.
Fed up - I try so hard to stay positive, and it really does help usually.
Tonight, though, I'm struggling - turns out dh is struggling with how low I am because of joint pain, which makes me feel sad and guilty. He's so good with me when I'm not well - I didn't know until today how much distress he deals with.
Little man saw me having problems with the stairs due to joint pain, so he went to bed sad - that breaks my heart, he's 9 years old, he shouldn't have to deal with that.
Not sure what the point of this is. I just feel like curling up in a ball and hiding away. It's not usual for me, I'm normally a 'face it head on' kind of girl. I'm just so tired, and so fed up of facing it.
I'm so tired. I want more than anything to have an uninterupted night's sleep. I go to bed around 12.30am most nights, knowing I'll spend 7 hours getting gradually stiffer and sorer, until my gut tells me around 7.30 that I need to get up and go to the loo. It feels like I sleep in 5 minute bursts - every time I move, pain wakes me up.
I miss sleeping properly. I miss waking at 5 am, smirking at the clock, and going back to sleep. I miss being able to get out of bed without thinking about how I'm going to do it, as I can't use my hands/wrists to help.
Fed up - I try so hard to stay positive, and it really does help usually.
Tonight, though, I'm struggling - turns out dh is struggling with how low I am because of joint pain, which makes me feel sad and guilty. He's so good with me when I'm not well - I didn't know until today how much distress he deals with.
Little man saw me having problems with the stairs due to joint pain, so he went to bed sad - that breaks my heart, he's 9 years old, he shouldn't have to deal with that.
Not sure what the point of this is. I just feel like curling up in a ball and hiding away. It's not usual for me, I'm normally a 'face it head on' kind of girl. I'm just so tired, and so fed up of facing it.
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