My boyfriend has crohns

[Young]

I realise I may not be in the right forum but I'm new!

Two years ago I first met my boyfriend. I am now 20 and my boyfriend is 22. I knew from the get go that he had. Colostomy bag and I had no problem with it. He had gone threw many many complications from the age of 15 to 18 but when I met him, he was perfectly healthy. In summer 2010 he went for reversal surgery and the. In July 2011 he got his bag removed. After that he has emergency surgery a week later and was in intensive care and was in hospital seven months on TPN and he was being fed through NG tubes etc.

It's almost a year later and hea still sick and has been admitted to hospital again today. All together he has been out of hospital about three months in the year. At the moment he has a fistula ( he has has a a lot of fistulas in the past year). I'm always here for him through his sickness, depression etc. The surgeries to help his fistulas have been succeful but only for short term. He was on inflixobam but it doesn't seem to be working.

I love my boyfriend and would never leave him but sometimes I feel he doesnt appreciate me but I know hes sick and may only think about himself. It's very tough and I just want some support. I'm doing a 10k marathon this coming Monday to raise money for the Irish society of colitis and Chrons. I just want someone to tell me he will be ok.

I would also like to add he does not have a colon as it was removed in a previous surgery. Also he has had 14 surgeries in total. He is in a lot of pain and was addicted to opiates because he was on them for
So long in hospital so they won't give them to him anymore.

Also I would really appreciate no negative comments including death etc. because that it's obviously something I dont want to think about.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

One last thing, I apologise for the typos, my iPhone Autocorrects everything incorrectly!

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

I wish I had the right words to say. But, do want to welcome you to the forum Sounds like the two of you have been through a lot and done well together. Shows how much you care with you're doing that marathon for Crohn's & Colitis. If you're needing support, you've come to the right place. There are all kinds of people to talk to around here, from patients to family members of patients. In the meantime, take care. Lisa

 

[PsychoJane]

Welcome on the forum.
As Lisa said, you will definitively find a lot of support on here. You are strong and compassionate woman to stay there at his side as he is going through all these hard events. I'm sure he is grateful despite the fact you sometime feel unappreciated. With all the limitations he is having lately, he may be having hard time in appreciating anything in general (I don't know him, I just know that I sometime feel that way when I get quite sick and can't seem to see the end of it.)

Do you know if there are any plans coming up for him treatment wise? Like are they talking about trying some other medications than the infliximab? Other treatments that may sometime help with fistula exist. Also, there are some other, less conventional approaches too, like the stem cell therapy. Some people can even get intestinal transplant if need is now. It is really not a common practice, but it is something that can be done.

I really hope that his disease will be in control soon, that they will find the right method to induce his remission so you and him can have a rest and enjoy your life fully!

Keep the hope and courage!

 

[Beach]

That's wonderful that you are running in the Marathon, raising awareness for the conditions, doing so mainly for your boyfriend. I'm sure he will take note and appreciate that you are making an effort. Personally, I always wonder if those fund raising events do much good overall for research and finding an answer, but figure they probably do not hurt.

Well, about all I can think of is, it's tough being in a close relationship having an IBD, with the ups and downs of the condition. The disease can go into remission for a good while, then out of know where flare up causing all kinds of trouble, physically and mentally too. During those times, having a social life can be troublesome to say the least. It can be hard to be around yourself, let alone others during rough days, weeks, months.

I recall early on with the condition, I didn't have as good of a grasp of how I effected others around me. I was always in pain, felt sorry for myself for having the disease, hated being left behind because of it, and as a result about all I worried was how the condition effected me. It was later on that I came to understand the IBD better myself, and with that learn how to interact and appreciate others that where concerned about my welfare.

We are all different. Our IBD conditions effect us in different ways. Sounds as if your boyfriend is having a very tough go of it. Hopfully he will overcome what he is going through and regain strength soon. I imagine you could possibly have a good future relationship with your boyfriend. As an example, I know of a professor that lives close to me that had his colon removed due to his colitis condition. I didn't think it possible, but the guy became more grumpy afterwards for a good long awhile from the operation. Today though he is back to his normal pre surgery self. I suppose there is still reason to be concerned about him though. Last I heard he was giving his wife a bad time about not taking his fish oil capsules as they might give her prostate cancer. :biggrin:

You might encourage your boyfriend to visit the sight as he might pick up a tip or two about living and dealing with the condition. Good luck.

 

[Young]

Thanks a million for all the comments I'm going into him today so will update with the doctors plans for him.