My stomach hurts :(

[AgB621]

There's just so much going on right now. My stomach started hurting this morning after breakfast and I thought maybe I'd eaten something that was just a little off, but I think it's more likely that I'm just feeling everything that's going on. Here's a list:
1. My parents are coming in tonight and we're going to see a play at my school. Doesn't sound stressful but for me it is! My stage fright is SO bad that I can't even watch a play without having an attack of vicarious stage fright. But it's a play I still really want to see (Macbeth) so I'm just gonna have to suck it up. But on top of that:
2. Tomorrow some friends I haven't seen in awhile are coming into town. I really like them but they are also acquaintances (not sure I would go so far as to say "friends") with my abusive, sociopath ex-boyfriend. (I actually met them through him.) Last time they were in town, I ended up having a huge blow-out fight with my mother after seeing them, a response to the stress of feeling uncomfortably close to someone I never want to think about or hear about again. And I know they'll probably tell him all about the visit so there's the added pressure of having to seem like my life is absolutely fantastic (which, in some very important ways, it is, except for the Crohn's of course).
3. This coming week is my last week of classes as an undergrad. I am terrible with change anyway, and I always have a huge increase in anxiety at the end of every year. This year it's about a million times worse because not only am I graduating, but a week later I'm moving across the country. My college is also a unique, intensely intellectual environment that simply does not exist anywhere else and as much as I am ready to be done, I am going to miss it like crazy. I am actually tearing up as I write this, I am going to miss it more than I thought possible.
4. I'm doing an internship this summer which I'm really excited about, but really nervous about because I have very little background in the subject. My mentor understands (her brother is a professor at my small liberal arts school) so she understands what she's getting and she doesn't expect me to be an expert but I'm still worried about messing up.
5. I have to start my real life now! I can't just futz around in undergrad world, I have to really think about where I'm going and what I want to do and how I'm going to get there. I'm definitely not done with school, that's for sure, but graduate work is more focused with the end goal of a particular career in mind so it feels a lot more like the "real" world.
A lot of changes are coming, all good and all exciting but also all terrifying.
Anyway, my stomach actually hurts a little less now, I just needed to write this to help myself work through it. If anyone actually read all of it, thank you! And if not, I understand, I can be a little long-winded. I feel a little better now. Thanks for listening

 

[MINI Cooper]

I think when you are in that stage of life where you are in your early
twenties and/or just finishing college are some of the most stressful times
in anyone's life. So much is changing and up in the air. Lots of crucial
decisions to make and uncertainties. I was there, so I totally sympathize.
And Crohn's added to an already nervous gut, certainly does NOT help!
I guess the only thing that helped me was focusing on what I accomplished
and noting to myself that with all that you HAVE accomplished, there is
nothing you can't do when you put your mind and drive toward it!
Don't worry about messing up, just focus on how great the opportunity
is and know that even if it does not work out, there will be lots more
opportunities coming your way! Anyone who gets Crohn's is already a
strong person, just remember the big and crazy things you have already
been through that hasn't knocked you down, do the best you can and
don't worry what family or friends think! (I know that is hard, but
sometimes we have to think of the health of our guts first!)
Good luck, hope you feel better! ::hugs::

 

[AgB621]

Thank you Mini Just talking about all of it was very helpful. I know my experience isn't exactly unique but that doesn't make it any less stressful!

 

[teeny5]

Venting always helps me to feel better. I just need to let it all out. The longer I go without talking about something the more I get stressed about it. I think that it doesn't matter what stage anyone is in their life. What is important to them is always a big deal. It could be minor for someone else who hasn't experienced it or has gone through it already. But, for who is in the thick of it, the event is huge. Glad to hear you do feel a bit better. We are always here to listen.

 

[kello82]

5. I have to start my real life now! I can't just futz around in undergrad world, I have to really think about where I'm going and what I want to do and how I'm going to get there.

this line really caught me b/c being someone who is of starting college age, thats how i feel too! lol

you know its like "oh man the real world! im gonna be on my own, no more cruising thru high school....college is WORK!" etc..

so i guess just...think back to when YOU were taking that step and look how you overcame that stress and now you dont wanna leave that situation that you were once nervous to enter into, right?
just another step. once you take it, i think youll be golden.