New, but would love some advice

[izzywoo]

Hi this is my first post so please be gentle....

I have crohn's colitis and was diagnosed 13 years ago. I'm 34 now. I've been lucky enough to never have had surgery and i currently have 6 weekly infusions of remicade which seems to keep it at bay.

I'm also a mummy to 4 wonderful children who are my reason for getting up each day the youngest of whom is 14 weeks old.

I had to continue my infusions throughout my pregnancy as i started to flare up.
And up till last week i felt pretty much ok apart from having regular bouts of constipation where as before i have always been more on the loose side, but on monday i woke up with tonsilitis went to the docs got a prescription for penicillin and this is when the problems start. I have been having really bad tummy pains, bloody stools and my tummy looks really swollen. Please tell me this is due to the penicillin I'm getting really scared that I have bowel cancer. I haven't had a scope since i was diagnosed as i have really bad anxiety and have cancelled the last three, stupid i know!!!

I know this must sound stupid but I'm so scared that i will die from bowel cancer, everything i read tells me i am more at risk because of crohn's.

I have spent most of today googling bowel cancer symphtons, i'm so scared i don't want to leave my babies

 

[Guestly]

Welcome Izzywoo,

I'm afraid I can't give you answers, sounds like you really need to see your GI.... Maybe a really nasty flare?

You have joined a great family here - keep us posted on how you get on.

Good luck.

 

[imisspopcorn]

:welcome: izzywoo.....I am so glad you joined the forum. This is a great place with plenty of supportive and knowledgeable people
....You need to call your GI and let him know that you are having problems...I am sure the combination of being post-partum and getting sick is throwing your immune system for a loop. Not to mention the hormones, making you a little emotional.....Honey, I really doubt you have bowel cancer. Stay away from Google for a while. Sometimes I can worry myself into a tizzy too. I have three kids as well. I can totally understand your fear of not wanting to leave your kids without a mum. That is why you need to have that colonoscopy done.....Chin up. If you have any questions just ask.

 

[farm]

You need to have a scope done.
I think we all fear colon cancer, but I personally don't know of anyone with Crohns that has/had colon or bowel cancer.

My brother had colon cancer (not related to any IBD) and he survived it. So even if someone gets it, it is NOT a death sentence. He had surgery in 2000 to remove the cancer and he has a colostomy now; but you would never know it if he didn't tell you about it.

 

[izzywoo]

Thank you to all of you,
after reading my post again I feel really silly I've got myself so worked up today I just didn't know where to turn. I don't feel I have anyone one to talk to that understands, family, friends. I try really hard to not think of myself as ill maybe part of me thinks that if I don't think about it it will go away.
I will make an appointment to have a scope but I'm so scared that I wont be able to go through with it, last time I talked myself out of it because I was scared that it would perforate my bowel. I know this is stupid I just don't know how to deal with it.

 

[Nyx]

Welcome Izzywoo...I'm not sure if this will be helpful or not, but have you tried hypnosis for your fear? I was terrified of needles (to the point of crying, shaking, hyperventilating, and like you, cancelling appointments). I had hypnosis for the phobia, and while I still don't like them, I can have them without freaking out (which is a good thing since I get bloodwork done twice a week these days!).

Good luck....and get that scope!!

 

[RogerDoger]

When I started feeling bad I started worrying about cancer. I worried about it for a year or more. It was not fun contemplating death each and every day. I googled and googled and googled. You can drive yourself crazy worrying about it.

My new doctor told me very firmly, "NO MORE GOOGLING!" So I don't. I'd suggest the same to you. Let the doctors do their jobs. You can't diagnose yourself.

I've almost come to peace with the notion of death. It wasn't that long ago that I was nothing; I didn't exist. For all of time, except for this miniscule 40 year blip, I didn't exist. Death will simply be a return to my previous state. I've been there before.

Good luck!

 

[Jennjenn]

Welcome

I would like others have said, see your GI. I hope you start to feel better and welcome to the forum.

 

[Mountaingem]

:bigwave: Welcome izzywoo! I am 37 and have had Crohn's since I was 14, and was diagnosed at 22. Last year during a colonoscopy they found first stage colon cancer, and I of course I completely freaked out hearing the C-word.
But the good news is when you have Crohn's the doctors are on top of things and always on the lookout. So for Crohnnies like me they find it in its earliest stage and it's absolutely 100% curable. They snipped the piece out and gave me one infusion of chemo, checked me three months later, and everything was completely gone.
Sometimes the fear we have is much worse then the reality, so be good to yourself and get checked, you deserve the best care and some peace of mind.

 

[farm]

Izzy maybe you could get an appointment with your GI to discuss your anxiety about the scope and perhaps he/she would give you something to take for it before the scope?
I've had over 30 colonoscopies done with no complications what-so-ever.

 

[Mountaingem]

Hi Mountaingem!

Soooo glad the Cancer was detected and treated early! Yihah!! that u r cancer free!! That is amazing news.......thank god for colonoscopies eh? :ycool:

Amen, Erazer!

 

[tamesis]

Welcome. I agree, time for a colonoscopy! talk to the doctor, and i'm sure they can give you something to help with the anxiety, and help things go smoothly. Thinking of you, and hopeful that you can get things settled down!

 

[RogerDoger]

RD..........you are being rather esoteric today! R U ok??

Yes, I am as okay as I get. Thank you.

Life is like a runaway train. You can't stop it. Sometimes you can switch tracks and direct its route; other times the switches are stuck and no matter how much you try, your course is unchangeable. Regardless, that train is barrelling down the track full speed. No brakes. Make sure you visit all the cars on that train. Chat to all the passengers. Feast in the dining car. Drink in the bar car. Make love in the sleeper car. One day that track will run out. It happens to all trains. Some lives are short local shunters, others the Trans-Siberian Express (thought I'd toss that in for ya!).

When every waking moment is spent obsessing about death, one finally arrives
at one of two destinations: insanity or enlightenment. I feel I am less mad and more enlightened, although some may debate that.

 

[merrywidow]

welcome izzy

 

[Peaches]

:welcome: Izzy!! We are so glad you have joined us!! I would agree that google is not your friend - you should only use it to look up restaurants and movie reviews ok? We have several other people come on who have had medical anxiety and we have told them the same thing. Best to leave the diagnosing in the doctor's hands in those situations.

The other thing to think about, IF you are worried about the "C" word is - you can only get that taken care of and taken care of quickly if you let them take a peek with a scope. The longer you wait to let that happen the higher the chance that you will let the disease progress - which I doubt you have - just trying to get you to see that scopes are SUPER important for us Crohnies!! Also - if your Crohn's is in a flare - they need to be able to see that with a scope so they know how bad it might be. It is not something you want to let fester over a long period - best to just close your eyes and jump in!!! It is how to best take care of yourself hun - so you can take care of your babies!

And there is no reason to think that all this isn't the penicillin. Did the doctor that gave you that realize that you have Crohn's? My GI doc requires that I run all antibiotics by her before taking them because some of them are more prone to set off a flare than others. So far in 13 years I've been really lucky in that regards. Maybe you should call your GI and discuss what you are using and what your symptoms are and see what they want to do. The quicker you do it - usually the easier it is to get everything quieted down again. If you wait - well......just not a good thing to wait. Oh - and ask for some valium for the night before a scope (tell them you have super anxiety) - this should help you get through the retreat mode and get the scope completed!

Good luck and keep us posted!!