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TummyTroubles

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So my bf convinced me that maybe people wouldnt think I was such a flake if I told them about my issues. I did to a couple friends and Im really thinking this was a bad idea.

I was feeling ok the last few days, so I decided to go rock climbing(my passion in life) with some friends. So of course I started feeling crappy again last night. However, since I am usually such a flake I decided to keep my plans and hope it would just go away.

To make a long story short, I vomited... Ugh....
I vomited in a bush, but im pretty sure they saw me. Still, it makes them feel so uncomfortable Im sure. Im not embarrassed that I have this problem, but I do feel slightly humiliated when things like this happen. Im not sure if any of you are outdoorsy people, but they all dont tend to be very patient. My friends try to be understanding, but they just dont get it.

How do u all deal with friends and activities- just trying to live your life?

Sorry- bad day :)
 
wouldn't think you were such a flake????

WTF?

give them the disease, see if they still think its flakey..

sorry if i read your post wrong, but one thing that actually gets to me is people thinking this disease is comparable to a sore tummy.....

my friends saw me in hospital when i was deathly sick, they know its no flake. i am so grateful of how understanding they are:D

the throwing up thing, when this started happening, we weren't aware of all the crohns fun, so i just thought i was throwing up, but after a month or two, was doing it 5 times a night. we just laughed about it:)
 
sorry im dramatic. Im not comparing it to a sore tummy. Im definitely not saying anyone here is a flake. Just frustrated with my friends.
 
sorry im dramatic. Im not comparing it to a sore tummy. Im definitely not saying anyone here is a flake. Just frustrated with my friends.
Click to expand...

uh oh, either you get a FAIL for reading, or I get a FAIL for writing:D

i was agreeing with you TT

i was complaining with you.

jed is always on the side of a fellow crohner

all for one, and one for all (just dont get in my way of the toilet...........)

;)
 
I agree with ya Tummy, friends can tend to flake. Always at the worst time.
I didn't always let people see the worst of my CD, so sometimes they thought i was overreacting. It hurts at times but you gain strength.
Hang-in there...no pun inteneded, well,,,maybe a little
 
ok , i though so but i couldnt tell. I just didnt want u to think I was saying anything bad about anyone with this problem.
Thanks for being on the crohner's side... I need it :)
I think i failed at reading your post :)
 
ladyB said:
friends can tend to flake. Always at the worst time.
Click to expand...

OK, whats flakeing mean to you? i may be a little confused now, but rest assured, i am on your side TT.
 
TummyTroubles said:
I think i failed at reading your post :)
Click to expand...

yeah, it probably was your fault, i rarely ever make mistakes:D
have i ever told you how good i am?

i have some PM's ready with all the ways i am good and brilliant in them.

i can share them with you if you need further advice on been awesome;)

keep smiling kiddo:)
 
K this is getting very confusing. Are u asking me what I think flakeing means? Well, anywhoo, I meant that my friends think that I am a flake because I have to cancel so much when I am not feeling well. U know, make plans to go hike, climb, etc, and then have to cancel last minute.
I dont think Im a flake, but Im afraid others get that impression because they dont understand.

BTW Jed- what are PM's??
 
yup, thought that what flaking meant. (see, i was right again) (its hard been this good i tells ya!)

:D

yeah, crohnies flake, so what, we like been near our toilets thanksyou:)

i used to flake all the time TT, my friends arent really outdoorsy type people so its kinda different for me. but you should only do what you can, push it and you'll end up super sick which = not fun...


and PMs = personal messages. i'll send you one (or MBH can tell you about them;))
 
I haven't had this problem so far because I told all my friends and I also told them that if they didn't like it they could eat a d**k ...

Ask them if they really aren't supportive if you'd like Jed and I to show them what it feels like to bleed from the ass whilst removing a shoe.
 
drew_wymore said:
if you'd like Jed and I to show them what it feels like to bleed from the ass whilst removing a shoe.
Click to expand...

haha! im sorry, im not laughing at anyone, i just love some good sarcastic humor:tongue:

TT im so sorry that your friends dont seem understanding. thats gotta be hard, friends are who you depend on when the going gets rough! maybe they feel uncomforatable about it becasue you havent revealed much to them before? i think i put some of my friends in this situation, i used to not want people to know. then i found out that they were talking about me behind my back because they were concerned and i was like "no! dont be afraid to talk to me!" i realized that i was unintentionally shutting them out from, lets face it, a HUGE part of my life
do you think that this might be how they feel too?

as far as being an outdoorsy type, oh boy, i have been forced by impatient bowels to poo in the woods quite a number of times.:eek2: sucks big time, but there are some things that im glad i didnt miss becasue of it. and then some that i wish i did lol
i say keep doing what you love as long as youre not sacrificing your health, both emotional and physical i mean. :)
 
:voodoo:
i have to ask somewhere, what is this?? a smiley poking a gingerbread man?
sorry for the momentary diversion lol!
 
Well I bet that other flakers might also consist of those with Lupis, MS, chronic pain, I don't need to go on, you know where I'm comming from...IBD is a chronic illness and unfortunately our disease has the last say in when we have to "flake" and when we get to enjoy life.

You/we do the best we can, sometimes we don't even know we're going to have a good day until the damned day is over, it's the nature of the beast and if friends/family cannot understand that aspect of it, then give them the finger.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty because you're sick...it is what it is, hold your chin up high because I'm willing to bet that the people that think you're a "flake" would not be mentally strong enough to deal with a disease like crohn's and in my books, that makes them the flake.

:)
 
kello82 said:
:voodoo:
i have to ask somewhere, what is this?? a smiley poking a gingerbread man?
sorry for the momentary diversion lol!
Click to expand...

That's either a smiley poking a voodoo doll, or my acupuncturist.
 
I really don't expect anyone to understand, so if they take the time to do, that's a bonus.

The rest of them can bugger off.
 
In my case...my parents and some friends and relatives understand my situation as why i always need to find the toilet, or why i'm taking long in the toilets and the frequentness of using the toilet...

But lately i was down because my sister shunned me with some sarcastic words saying that i'm very selfish, always think bout myself only when the rest goes a bit late to the bathrooom, or they have to make way for my urgency and so on. Her words really hurted me as I was hoping that as a family member she should understand my situation rite. It's not I like being or staying in the toilet long. Shouted at me in front of people really hurt me...:((
 
thats horrible for you Lily, shouldn't have to be treated like that.

hopefully she realises she's upset you and makes an apology.

:(
 
I have kind of a similar situation, but my friends seem to be all but completely oblivious to what is happening to me, it almost seems like they ignore it on purpose. I am the flake though, when I feel icky I regress and just stay away from people, so no one ever sees just how bad it gets. So I guess I can't blame them but they definitely are not very sympathetic, they always just think its like a sore tummy. We all know it goes SO beyond that but then its like I don't want to go into the gory detail with them... ugh... I used to go camping all the time when I was younger but last time I tried it was the most horrific experience of my life even though the place we went to had a toilet it was one toilet for the entire campground and needless to say I was in hell the whole weekend having to spend most of it either waiting curled up in a ball for the bathroom or sanitizing or whatever... .now when I don't want to go camping no one understands and they think I am just high maintenance or something. Anyways... I am whining now but just wanted to say I hear ya....
 
Im glad we can all be whining here and everyone seems to understand.
I can relate to u Lilly as just tonight my mom asked me if I have these problems because I am BULEMIC!!!! OMG I couldnt believe she asked me that. I could never make myself throw up on purpose!! It definitely hurt my feelings because I try to be as healthy as possible! Anyway, I think it hurts most coming from family- any critisim. But that was really mean of your sister!

I guess i shouldnt expect people to understand, but it would be nice!
 
Yeah...i think its difficult to make people to understand our situation..Thank god my parents n friends have improved a lot are very much supportive than before. After getting Crohn's..I stay away from a lot of functions, parties, or rarely go out because its very difficult. Just praying hard that when i start Infliximab next month, I would at least be pain free and become better soon.
 
hi TT..

i dunno, but i got the feeling from your opening post that you actually have an element of a downer on yourself because of what Crohns does to you. you're not a flake, just as none of us are anything that other people have accused some of us of over the years such as lazy, hypochondriac, fussy etc etc..

if you had a broken leg in pot, you would get all the sympathy and support expected from friends and strangers alike. unfortunately, because Crohns is on the inside, and many of us try really hard to live something like a normal life with it, people just don't see how bad it is, and how horrid it makes us feel.

i do agree with the sentiment of telling close friends who you spend time with, about the Crohns and how it affects you. once told, it is up to them to show what level of support they have for you. sadly, this 'coming out' often shows us who our true friends are.

i would say, if they are being impatient because you're not 100% when you're with them, get cross! tell them exactly how it is - and ask how they would feel in your situation.

and hold your head up high!!
 
You kind of have to put things in perspective. I'm sure there's people in wheelchairs who are told they aren't "trying hard enough" to walk again, or mentally ill people who are told to "just snap out of it." So really, dealing with insensitive clods is a constant battle. The less time and effort stressing about it the better.
 
when our son was younger we was told there "was nothing wrong" with my son. and i was just being a cotton wool mum.
he now recieves middle rate disablity and is about to start a special school. a school which understands and can met his needs.
sharon xx
 
Thanks everyone. I am being kind of a downer about it lately. Its hard for me to tell people but I am getting better and better at telling people. Im a private person by nature, but its definitely better to just let people know and move on :)
 
Hi there, I have had a similar situation with my work colleagues. They all try to be supportive but I get the feeling they think of it like a bad virus, I'm always having to run (as fast as am able) to throw up or ... get to the toilet and leave whatever I was doing. I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose my job now, I've been off work for over 2 months this time. I'm sorry to go on, having a bad day to.

My little sister is great, she tries to spin it the other way joking that I'm a buleamic and trying to cover it up. She has truely seen it all with my illness. I'm lucky with my family, they all understand and rap me up in cotton wool.

Times like this will show who your friends are. As I haven't been able to go out and socialize properly a few of my friends have drifted away. And then I have an amazing mate who has been there for me through everything and will never make me feel embarrassed and truely understands. I hope things get better for you soon, I'm sure it will :)
 
I always used to worry about being a flake.
I don't give myself that stress anymore.

Anyone who actually cares about me knows about my
condition now and understands if I am unable to do something.

We all have enough tummy issues to have added stress from 'friends'
who just don't understand or care.
 
Im sorry u are having such a hard time at work Cheshire. Its kinda the opposite for me strangely enough. The ladies at my work are so great and understanding. Its weird really. A couple of them have IBS and actually encouraged me to get a diagnosis. They said I make them look normal, which I do. I go to the bathroom all day long and they never make it an issue. I am really lucky that way. However, Im not sure they will be so understanding when I go to Nursing School. My family is taking a little longer. I guess because they havent really seen me in a bad way. I moved out at 18 and my issues started at 19.

Good luck with your job. I hope it works out :)
 
TummyTroubles said:
So my bf convinced me that maybe people wouldnt think I was such a flake if I told them about my issues. I did to a couple friends and Im really thinking this was a bad idea.

I was feeling ok the last few days, so I decided to go rock climbing(my passion in life) with some friends. So of course I started feeling crappy again last night. However, since I am usually such a flake I decided to keep my plans and hope it would just go away.

To make a long story short, I vomited... Ugh....
I vomited in a bush, but im pretty sure they saw me. Still, it makes them feel so uncomfortable Im sure. Im not embarrassed that I have this problem, but I do feel slightly humiliated when things like this happen. Im not sure if any of you are outdoorsy people, but they all dont tend to be very patient. My friends try to be understanding, but they just dont get it.

How do u all deal with friends and activities- just trying to live your life?

Sorry- bad day :)
Click to expand...

i can sort of see where both you and your friends are coming from. when i was in high school my best freind ( who still is my best friend) had crohns disease. and i didnt understand. i thought that she was faking it alot and it couldnt have been as bad as she was making out. because i really didnt understand how she was feeling. its a hard thing to explain.

since ive been ill with suspected crohns disease ( even though my GP is adament its crohns) i underdstand near enough fully what she is going through. i can never make future plans.. neither can she. no one i know understands. my friends at college think im skiving alot.

its one of those things where you really dont understand until youve been there.. i think anyway.

the good thing is now me and my friend can discuss things and we both understand how we are feeling. if theres one good thing about crohns... its that its brought my friend and me even closer.

jsut explain to them as best you can. if they arent very understanding then they are not good friends
xx
 
I think the fact that other people find it hard to understand is one of the toughest things about CD. I don't tend to tell people, so I've lost some of my social circle due to being unreliable/flakey.

Of my close friends, there's only 1 that I'll actually talk to about it - and that's because she was there right at the beginning (when I say there, she saw me double up in pain while we were sat having coffee at my house, and then saw me not make it to the loo...it was a real bonding moment!)

I find it very hard to discuss with others - I work with a small team, only 2 of whom know I have CD. I only told them because I had to travel with them, and I thought it was safer if they knew that there was a chance I'd keel over while we were away.

I really sympathise - it's so hard to have to give up or modify doing the things you love without having to deal with other people's reactions too xx
 

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