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nicolaas

Joined
Jul 11, 2014
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7
o to Cut the story short I'm so angry embarrassed and can't stop crying (what I'm about to tell you is the 2nd time its happened)

I was out with my partner and daughter in 'wicks' to buy some laminate flooring which we have saved up a long time for and my crohns struck and I really needed the loo- I asked and showed my medical band but was told over and over toilets arnt for public use I was in agony holding my stomach and knew I was going to poo myself if I never got to a toilet fast- all she said was well go to pizza hut and use their toilets but it was to late! By the time I had got to the toilet I had already pood my self and to top it Off I had shorts on as its been a hot day. I was so embarrassed and just got to the toilet and cried my heart out I have been diagnosed since 2011 Nd been hell from day one I just cannot cope with this disease and cannot cope with the treatment of people who laugh when I say look I really need to go' this also happened in a b and m store which luckily just as it was about to happen my mum saw her friend who worked in there who swiftly took me to the staff toilet else it would have happened then to! I feel awful and I've been strong until now but this once strong brick wAll that I used to be is slowly fallin
 
i am so sorry. An accident in public is one of my fears honestly. People can be so cruel. I thought with a medical card an establishment was saposed to help??? There were some issues here in the states if i remember correctly a while back.
I wish i could comfort you in some way, a good cry will hopefully make you feel a little better as it can release some of the pain.
A lot of us carry a emergency bag: change of clothes, underpants, wipes, trash bag etc. for just in case. It might not save us from an accident but just in case we can be ready to freshen up.

big gentle hugs, remember it was an accident. Be good to yourself ~ it does not define you.
 
Gosh I'm so sorry, I totally relate to the fear of public accidents. It's a horrible reality and anxiety to face not knowing if you can hold it or if people will see if you crap your pants especially watery diarrhea.

I wish there were better solutions but can you take anti diarrhea drugs and wear diapers. I know it's not pleasant and it's very hard for the ego to handle but it will give you more peace of mind going out. Just know this isn't forever. Hope you get the right treatment and become regular again.

Edit: when given resistance to using an employee bathroom I made up that it's against the law to deny me and that I'll call the police. I show my card and use that trick if necessary. There is no law here but it sometimes can help get you in there.
 
Thankyou :) , it has also been my worst fear to and now it's happened I don't know how to get over it- I fear I May never want to leave my home my safe space right now but I cannot live like that. Me to but shop workers know nothing of this horrid disease and think u have all the tome in the world! She just kept sniggering at me I was so angry and still am. How cruel can people be to let that happen its shocked me and I'm really shaken- this has knocked my confidence alot and I can't see me getting out the other side.. Embarrassing isn't the word!!! Mortified maybe is!
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Gosh I'm so sorry, I totally relate to the fear of public accidents. It's a horrible reality and anxiety to face not knowing if you can hold it or if people will see if you crap your pants especially watery diarrhea.

I wish there were better solutions but can you take anti diarrhea drugs and wear diapers. I know it's not pleasant and it's very hard for the ego to handle but it will give you more peace of mind going out. Just know this isn't forever. Hope you get the right treatment and become regular again.

Edit: when given resistance to using an employee bathroom I made up that it's against the law to deny me and that I'll call the police. I show my card and use that trick if necessary. There is no law here but it sometimes can help get you in there.
Click to expand...

I'm only 24 Nd feel this disease has taken Way so much of my dignity already I couldn't cope if it was to happen again! I only go out for short periods as I live in a what if bubble but cannot continue this way! My partner is very supportive but today I was so embarrassed I couldn't look at him- I just wish this disease was made so much more aware as its a hard thing to live with and crushes you it really does! I've just had enough now x
 
ngng, i thought there would be more consideration here with an emergency bathroom use ~ with CD if i had a accident it might be clean up on isle 4,5,6...
Years ago we were in bumper traffic on a big bridge, dear GOD help me. I never knew my butt cheeks could cinch so tight. I could have produced a diamond by the time i got to use a bathroom.:eek2:
I forget to mention a anti diarrhea med. Good mention!!

hang in there, it does get easier ~ we have all had accidents at some point.
I know it is devastating emotionally. :hug:
 
Ive never heard of this antI dirr med before but will deffo look into that one! This disease makes u find that inner strength to not poo yourself but today I guess I wasn't so sstrong! Such ashame as it was a horrid end to what started a good day x
 
I have to really watch what i eat a day before i am going out for the day. Have you noticed any food that make symptoms worse??
You are strong ~ you came here and you are handling this beautifully! Brilliant 24 year old ;)
 
Sadly I have even had a nurse burst out laughing at me once when I pooped myself. She said do you need to pee pee too? How humiliating. I have other words to describe her but I'm sure you can imagine what they are.

Imodium is a great anti diarrhea medicine in the US, I dont know the name in the UK but it's over the counter and any pharmacist can tell you.
 
If* said:
I have to really watch what i eat a day before i am going out for the day. Have you noticed any food that make symptoms worse??
You are strong ~ you came here and you are handling this beautifully! Brilliant 24 year old ;)
Click to expand...

I dont eat very much at all as im terrified of things like this happening and dont eat after 6pm as I find if I do I have a horrendous morning. I'm underweight and my dietitian is helping me to get to a healthy weight but I get constant set backs and its so frustrating - I find that almost every food goes through me quicker then I can eat it so I keep to a very simple diet and have done since diagnosed as intruding New foods back in seems like mire hassle then its worth as it makes me worse. My crohns went undiagnosed for a long time which caused me to have a peferated bowl which I am terrified of this happening again as I was very very ill x
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Sadly I have even had a nurse burst out laughing at me once when I pooped myself. She said do you need to pee pee too? How humiliating. I have other words to describe her but I'm sure you can imagine what they are.

Imodium is a great anti diarrhea medicine in the US, I dont know the name in the UK but it's over the counter and any pharmacist can tell you.
Click to expand...

That is so so awful I cannot believe someone who is in a position to help you could do such a thing- who can we put our faith in to help us if that's the treatment! Its devastating ide love to see how they would cope in our situation, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but alot
Of people need their eyes opening'

I will go to my local pharmacist tomorrow thankyou. X
 
I'm so sorry this happened, I've never experienced the public accident, but I had an accident in my own home once. We only have 1 bathroom and we had a guest staying over at our place, and he was taking forever in the shower and I just couldn't hold it anymore.

Don't be afraid, this stuff does happen and its embarrassing but its not your fault and you did nothing wrong, they are the ignorant ones. It'll be ok!
 
I have weight issues too, just got back up to 95lbs and am excited!! I have a tough time knowing what to eat. I was really underweight at one point and on tpn. It can be scary ~ yet we gain so much strength and compassion with each hurdle.
Foods that seem to sit OK with me are chicken, rice, organic cereals and even organic bread. I also found Boost in powder form and make yogurt smoothies with banana.

If you have had surgery has your Dr. mentioned a bile salt binder?? Ask ;)

NG~ a nurse laughed ~ that bitch! I hope she has a pant load at some point in her life.

Ron, i thought they made changes here several years ago?
 
So sorry. My worst was being left in a hospital bed for over an hour when I had an accident. I cannot go out without anti diarrhoea medications. Imodium is over the counter, there is also lomitil and codeine which are prescription medications. I also find eating fibre helps bulk me out and I have more control. I would ask about medications because it is so easy to not want to go out. My last time was at work in the middle of a lecture I was giving. 30 years on, I am kind of used to it. I managed to leave home one day with half a loo roll hanging out of my trousers. These days it just washes over me.
 
nicolaas said:
Ive never heard of this antI dirr med before but will deffo look into that one! This disease makes u find that inner strength to not poo yourself but today I guess I wasn't so sstrong! Such ashame as it was a horrid end to what started a good day x
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry this happened. I've been through it a couple of times.

What you went through has nothing to do with a lack of strength on your part. Quite the opposite. It takes an enormous amount of strength to live with this disease. To get up tomorrow and keep living in spite of everything you've endured.

Sending you my support.
 
Look for loperamide which is Immodium but slightly cheaper,I would speak to your gp about getting it put on your repeat prescription,when I,m feeling bad or going to be out for a while I take one beforehand and carry some with me if for nothing other than peace of mind.don,t think about this,don,t pick at it,forget it.good luck all the best
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Sadly I have even had a nurse burst out laughing at me once when I pooped myself. She said do you need to pee pee too? How humiliating. I have other words to describe her but I'm sure you can imagine what they are.

Imodium is a great anti diarrhea medicine in the US, I dont know the name in the UK but it's over the counter and any pharmacist can tell you.
Click to expand...
Imodium has got very expensive here in Australia with the change to capsules instead of tablets (especially if you use them frequently, like some of us do). We can get a much cheaper brand called Diareze with exactly the same ingredient as Imodium. It comes in a tablets, like the old Imodium. It is worth looking for something like this - try a discount chemist. I get it from Chemist Warehouse.
 
I've had 3 or so minor public incidents, and either I didn't react quickly enough, or I just wasn't close enough to a bathroom. Even when I'm feeling well, I always carry a spare pair of underwear and a urinary incontinence pad which I can stick in the seat of my underwear in case of leaks. I've had a few other times at home, a couple much worse where I just didn't make it (one because I was sick and woke up feeling strange, and couldn't tell what I was feeling...). I've worn diapers a few times, too. Both those and the pads have been well worth it on a few occasions, and any funny feelings about wearing those are far outweighed by the fact that I know problems will be contained.
 
I haven't had the misfortune to have a public accident yet - but it has been really close. I have just made it in my door at home a couple of times - worse for me is that I have a public washroom phobia and always have (I have been known to travel 18 hours without using the washroom - from home until I checked into our hotel 18 hours later) - imagine having been diagnosed with a disease that makes public washrooms your friend.

I work in a retail store here and the people I work with are all aware of what I have been going through for the past 2.5 years and have been supportive - imagine my dismay when a customer came in and went upstairs and obviously had an accident and one of our staff laughed and said "oh my god I think that guy just s^*t himself". I lost it - I said imagine that - I bet he has Crohn's or Colitis or perhaps Colon Cancer, or perhaps is just in the midst of a really bad virus - they immediately got really quiet and then apologized profusely for their crass behavior (it probably also doesn't hurt that I do payroll and am the office manager). I can honestly tell you that the people I work with would never not let anyone use the staff washroom on the mainfloor and we have a public washroom upstairs - but for those of us with Crohn's the stairs can be a challenge when you really have to go.

So I apologize for all the uneducated morons in retail and hope that you don't let a few real idiots keep you housebound.
 
Hey Nicolaas, I feel for you. This has happened to me several times and it does feel humiliating. One time, I left a mall wearing my jacket as a skirt. I smelled awful and looked worse (I had even been wearing Depends at the time - but they can't always take the load and they do nothing to stop the smell) After that I decided to do something about it. I created a small emergency kit that includes a pair of thin track pants, wipes, a pastic bag etc. that all folds down to a little bigger than a wallet. Then I created a pin that says "I have Crohn's. You do have a bathroom I can use." I scout out the bathrooms the second I walk into a place to determine if I can access it on my own or if I am going to have to go through someone to get to it. I am getting braver these days and make a loud scene if they won't let me use the washroom, which is then followed by letters to anyone and everyone who will listen - Shop Owner, Board of Trade, City Council, Member of Parliament, newspapers. We are going to have to better educate the public. I have never been a very participatory person, but I figure who has more right to raise a stink;) In the meantime, I've tried to tap into my inner child to help keep my spirits up - I have made a list of places that I have 'crapped on'. Juvenile, I know. Chin up though. They are the ones who should be embarrassed.
 
First let me say that I am so sorry you had to deal with such a difficult and embarrassing problem. People really should have more respect and kindness.

I know exactly how you feel. I've pooped myself so many times. It is humiliating and degrading... Sometimes I just want to poo on other people, isn't that horrid of me?! I know it's rough and crappy, but we've all been there before and can understand what you are going through. So sorry hun.
 
:heart::heart:Saying I feel your pain doesn't help but do not feel you are alone. I am a very private person even with family so public is intimidating even when u can barely control it.
 
I'm sorry you went through that, and I've been in that situation, too. I know where I live, by law, businesses are required to let me use the restroom even if one isn't available to the public, as my doctor has given me an access card citing the statute. I don't know if there is a statute where you live, but if there is, it sounds like the sort of thing they need education on.
 
I'm sorry for what happened to you. I too had an accident at home. My boyfriend was in the bathroom, and it just came out. Down my legs to the carpet. I was in my early 20's. Mortified is the right word. (But hey, he still married me, still together after 25 years.)
 
I had several not so shining moments while in college. It wasn't even a matter of being denied the use of a restroom, just a complete inability to make it to the restroom. It is mortifying, years later the memories of such moments still make my gut clench.

Once while in a lecture hall in front of peers studying the same major, because the professor was a prick and wanted to see why I was leaving his class while he was in the middle of presenting. Mind you this was in front of peers I would sit in classes with for the next two years. Twice while trying to get across campus to classes - there is a reason I always carry a spare pare of underwear in my backpack/ purse. Once in a yoga class. Multiple times when around town while out with friends for an evening or just exploring the town.

The one thing that always brought a smile to my face in such moments was the thought that someone else would have to clean up my $hit for once. Blood, mucus and all! I figure cleaning up such a mess/ taking out a garbage liner with a bloodied, poopied pair of women's panties, would make their day as unpleasant as my own.

That said, as I've spiraled into a worse and worse state of disease over the past year my confidence to go out has certainly dropped. It was one thing in college, but now? In a city I don't know, around total strangers I can't imagine cleaning up my mess? Most days I'd rather stay in then even risk that game of roulette. These aspects of the disease are what I think eats a person up inside. Not the pain, nausea, or knowledge that your body won't/can't do what it's supposed to.

I finally broke down and shared those moments with my boyfriend of over four years while on a prednisone emotional rollar coaster/ pity trip the other week. It's not something I've shared with others before, not even family - although they've been witness for several close calls. For the first time in telling those stories I didn't hold back on how I felt then, and how it still has a hold over me now. In his very humorous and supportive manner he pointed out that those of us with IBD aren't the only ones to have such accidents in public. Yeah, there might be blood, mucus, excess smell - but we are not alone. Such moments are not limited to those who are ill, it can happen to someone perfectly healthy just having a terrible day. This really helped move through the feelings of mortification, along with thoughts of the things janitors must have to deal with.
 
If I had been with you somebody would have had to hold me back from decking them.

Unfortunately some people just don't understand this unpredictable disease. So long as you have your friends and family who love and care for you you don't need anybody else.

God bless you nicolaas.
 
I'm not sure if this is positive or not, but I first found that the more times things like this happened, the less I cared. Then I found that dealing with really serious, facing possible death situations stopped me caring about embarrassment much at all. Though I still appreciate my stoma has eliminated the bowel incontinence problem. I think caring just takes up too much energy sometimes. It's not worth it. Last time I was in hospital my stoma bag kept leaking one evening, in a ward full of patients and visitors, and all I cared about was that the nurses kept having to pull my bed covers out from under me to change them, and I was so tired I just wanted them to leave me alone so I could sleep. Very different in a hospital though, dignity just doesn't exist there sometimes.

Take massive amounts of loperamide, Lomotil, and codeine (before I had a stoma, I'd take all three everyday).
Incontinence pads do help - make sure they're for bowel incontinence though. Bladder ones (which are far more widely available) won't do much good. Extra-thick sanitary towels actually work better for diarrhoea than bladder weakness pads.
Take change of clothes and loo roll with you, and hand wipes/anti-bacterial gel or spray with you too.
If you're going on a long drive and will be on roads where you won't be able to pull over, cover your seat in the car with a draw sheet to protect the seat.
Prioritise keeping yourself comfortable, clean and hygienic, not trying to avoid mean people who don't understand.
 
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These days I wear those "disposable underwear" things pretty much all the time, the pull-up type. My butt has been kindof leaky while flaring, and it's often iffy whether I'll make it to the toilet in time.
 

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