Really, really depressed

[AgB621]

So my thyroid levels came back NORMAL. After I got the call, I called my mother and cried for half an hour. I do NOT feel NORMAL at ALL. I felt so close to an answer too. I know that normal test results can still occur even if my thyroid is not normal, and my GP is willing to start me on a low dose of thyroid hormones, but I'm not even remotely optimistic.

There is so much I want to do in my life that I can't do if I feel this tired. And if I can't do them, as terrible as this will sound, I really don't see much point in living. Why couldn't this have happened to someone who wasn't ambitious, someone who didn't care about their education or had lofty goals? It just feels so unfair. I'm ready to go over to Johns Hopkins or some other hospital type place and just surrender myself to them and say, do every single test you can possibly think of. Drain all my blood to run tests if you have to. Do whatever you need to do, just don't let me walk out of here without a diagnosis and treatment plan.

I know this isn't a fatigue forum, so I apologize, but this is what's getting me down right now and I could use some comforting. I'm so frustrated I would scream, but...I don't have the energy!!!!!!!!!

 

[GoJohnnyGo]

Fatigue is a major Crohn's issue, so please do discuss it.

Sorry to hear of your ongoing struggles. Like you said, it really isn't fair and I wish I had some answers for you.

I suppose this might be minor solace to you, but you can be glad it isn't a Thyroid problem. I'm not really familiar with it, but I do know of some folks with Thyroid problems and it's no picnic.

 

[MaskdMarvl]

Dont apologize VENT. Continue to follow your dreams as hard as it might be. Your going to be the accomplished one that appreciates things in life. The saying goes, if you dont know bad times then how do you know the good times. Come on hun dont talk of surrender now im depressed just for a moment. If you give up it wins. Ill do it for you SKREEEEEEEEM !!!!

 

[AgB621]

But that's the problem, I DO have a thyroid condition. It's the only definitive diagnosis I've gotten. I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, a condition which causes every single one of my symptoms, and yet I have doctors telling me that it isn't the reason I feel so miserable.

I've been crying for an hour. I've missed an important class but what could I do, I started crying a half hour before it started and just couldn't stop.

 

[GoJohnnyGo]

Well, then my sincere apologies. I had misread your post.

 

[AgB621]

No apologies, I'm not sure I made that clear.

 

[MaskdMarvl]

I know this isn't a fatigue forum, so I apologize,


Well, then my sincere apologies also. I too misread your post.

 

[ishy]

Hashimoto's indeed causes severe fatigue. I had my thyroid removed in 1991 after 5 years of intense fatigue, and I was only in high school. My mom said that she knew something was wrong when I'd come home from school and sleep for four hours, get up, eat, watch a little tv, and go back to bed for another 8.

 

[AgB621]

Pen - I do try to exercise, but lately I've just been way too busy. Every day is packed with classes or homework, clubs, doctors appointments...I haven't been able to find the time in a few weeks.

But for me, exercise has not proven itself to be at all helpful in building energy. I exercised nearly every day all summer and felt no better. It's a huge struggle to get myself there, and once I'm there if I overdo it even the tiniest bit, I feel horribly sick for the rest of the day. And even if I don't overdo it, I end up in a lot of pain. I feel better about myself if I exercise, but I don't really feel better physically.

 

[Joe]

You know whats odd, I feel even MORE tired when I stop excercising for a few days...

It's like I better get out and excericise otherwise my body is going to say screw this, we're going to sleep without you.

 

[amor151]

ive definately noticed the same as you joe, exercising although difficult when ure so tired really helps.
by the way hilarious muppets thing under ure message had me laughing for ages

 

[teeny5]

I think your docs are wrong...I have read that Hashimoto's has the following symptoms (to name a few):

fatigue, exhaustion
depression, moodiness, sadness
sensitivity to cold, cold hands and feet
muscle and joint pains and aches

There are many other symptoms in the book I have, but still just in those few I think they are WRONG! I would demand them to help you...I have argued with my GI when I didn't feel like my treatment was helping.

 

[AgB621]

I'm assuming you mean that my doctors are wrong in the sense that Hashimoto's must be what's causing my symptoms...I do have every one that you've listed. Hashimoto's can also cause fluctuations in your thyroid before your thyroid just poops out. That could explain why I've been losing weight (every time I go to the doctor I've dropped another pound, I haven't been this weight since middle school), my blood tests indicated that if my thyroid is off, it's closer to being hyper, not hypo. But my doctor freely admitted that the fluctuations could be causing my symptoms (hello, moodiness, depression, fatigue, sensitivity to cold and many medications, changes in weight! come on! I even have periods where I'm far more prone to anxiety that come and go inexplicably...hyperthyroidism anyone?) but that treating it when it's in a state of rapid fluctuations would be, well, impossible unless we removed it or otherwise incapacitated it. So, basically it seems like I have to wait for my thyroid to wear itself it and be miserable until it does and some silly numbers on a piece of paper tell my doctor that there's something wrong with me since they don't care how I actually feel.

I got some more blood work done on Friday, that might yield something useful, I don't know. I have the world's worst veins though, I have a giant bruise from the initial blood work (a week ago Friday) that still hasn't faded, and then this most recent round they had to poke me four different times and she blew two veins. I now have another giant disgusting bruise on my other arm too. I look like a victim of domestic abuse or a heroin addict. It's kind of embarrassing.

I'm getting a cortisol stimulation test either this or next Tuesday, depending if the insurance stuff is taken care of. I know a cold cortisol test is pretty meaningless, but my cortisol levels were surprisingly high. So we'll see what that yields. Does anyone know about the connection between the pituitary gland and the thyroid? Could this cortisol test give me any useful information whatsoever, or am I just dragging myself out of bed far earlier than I'd like to so I can do this test for nothing?

 

[BWS1982]

What I know is the pituitary gland produces TSH (Thyroid stimulating hormone) and tells the thyroid, by extra TSH, or decreased TSH, that it is to produce more/less T4, respectively. TSH levels can often show hyper/hypo, but this is about all I know on their connection offhand.

Looking at what Teeny posted, I think I just might still have Hashimotos because I have everyone of those symptoms, AND it's an autoimmune disease (yaaaay, TWO of them then).