I use baby wipes everytime. But once it's on fire... It's pretty much on fire until it heals. Luckily, I find that area can heal pretty quickly... Sometimes even overnight
I got some cream from the doctor which is basically like the cream you put on your hand if you're scared if needles going in there. It numbs the skin a bit, and although its not perfect it does ease the pain slightly. Other than that I've always used sudocrem
A washcloth and witch hazel. Wet the cloth, lay on your side, tuck it twixt your cheeks and relax for a few minutes. It helps with the irritation and swelling.