Single with Crohns

[LaneyLou]

Hey all,
Not really a question as such, just interested in people's experiences and thoughts.
So i have been single for about a year now, whilst waiting for my diagnosis of Crohns I had a 4yr relationship fall apart (very long story) and I think somewhat I blame the illness for that, I now realise I dodged a bullet so that's something i guess lol
I find myself very conflicted, some days I wish I had that special someone in my life, especially this time of year and as I find myself approaching 30 with the majority of my friends settling down and starting families - I do feel lonely and that I'm missing out. On the flip side some days I'm so grateful I can go home close the door and not have to worry about anyone but my self (sounds horrifically selfish i know, but after a long day at work mixed with feeling rubbish i see it as a bit of a luxury!)
I know that lately I have been dealing with low self esteem and I'm sure this stems from there but I just feel like I now have so much baggage and wonder how someone would cope taking it all on - I'm not always the ray of sunshine I once was!!!

So yeh really just wondering about people's stories (good and bad) of dating and starting relationships post diagnosis, Or Is it even really that different?!

Best wishes ☺

 

[AUTUMN30]

Hello Lanely Lou,

I know what your going through. I have someone and the live 3 hours away from and the relationship is on its way out the door for me. For the past six months my crohn's has gotten worse, then to make things worse I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, arthritis in both of my hips, and interstitial cystitis of the bladder. I am also only 29, which makes things so much better. Even though I have someone, they have distant and i barely hear from them.
They started to act this way recently because all of the medical issues I'm currently having and also their getting worse and they claim they can't handle it. I feel alone and single because they live so far away from me and I barely talk to them, and sooner or later our relationship is going to end. Like you I do have my own place and love coming home too without having to worry about anyone else but myself too, but Still want someone to sleep next to at night and be there physically, because its having medical issues especially when your still very young and it sucks more when you don't have a mate to support you through it all or have someone but they aren't there for you.
I cope with everything best I can. I keep myself busy with my hubbies, hanging out with family and friends, reading books, or watching a tv show as a distraction.

Hang in there and good luck to you!

 

[LaneyLou]

Hey Autumn, thanks for sharing, and I'm so sorry for What your going through. I'm definately in the mindset of no relationship is better than a bad one, by the end of mine my ex was truly horrible, accusing me of making it all up and just attention seeking (pre diagnosis). He even said im not as fun as i used to be, i can laugh about it now - some people just arnt worth your time! It doesn't stop me wanting someone to share my life with tho, like you said it's the little things like just having someone by your side or to hold your hand, someone who genuinly cares about how your feeling without feeling sorry for you. Unfortunately I tend to withdraw and push people away when I'm not feeling my best, almost like just because I'm suffering doesn't mean those around me should too, silly I know!
Really hope you figure it all out, sounds like you have got so much going on, if you ever need to talk I'm here for a vent!
Best wishes and hope you have a great Christmas.