So fed up and stressed

[KayleighMeek]

Well my health hasn't been to bad but still not perfect but I can just about cope with it.
Me and my mum have never really got on well but recently it's been unbareable. Me and my boyfriend moved in to save for a house and she encourages us to move in, she acts like such a martar about it its driving me crazy. She always wants to have something to bitch about to her friends and usually it's about how I'm ill or making me out to be the worst daughter. She will constantly criticise and make little comments to me and most of the time I will bite my tongue or try and turn it round to be a joke just to get rid of the tension. She is a very stressed person not for any particular reason she just is very highly strung and always has been.
I turned round to my boyfriend the other day and asked him if he thought what she keeps doing to me is justified and he said no. I said to him sometimes I feel like its all in my head and I am just feeling sorry for myself but he assures me it's not. He is now fed up with her constantly picking on me we are looking for somewhere to rent and maybe looking to move in with his parents until we can find somewhere.
For example of the picking on me she started having a go at me last week about not doing anything that day I told her I didn't feel very well and was having a bad crohns day. She then continued to have a go saying I am always sick and baisically insinuating that I am making it up ahhhh. I got do stressed out and anxious about it all that I spent the rest of the evening throwing up. I really hate it here at the moment and I feel so sad even my boyfriend feels the same he is finding it very difficult and says when we move out he doesnt want to see her again. I want to be able to go right now feel like crying so much and really don't want to face work tomorrow but I know I have to. Sorry for the moan had to get it out and thank you for reading x

 

[Astra]

Aw Kayleigh, that's sad
but we can't choose our families but we can choose how our own life pans out.
Leave and also leave her a letter, pour your heart out, and then get out.
Leave the ball in her court.
Your health is the number one priority now, she had her chance and she blew it.
good luck, hope you get some peace xxxxxxxxx

 

[KayleighMeek]

Thank you for replying I love my mum but I don't always like her lol it's just been a lot worse recently. My dad passed away in sept last year and I know even though they were divorced that she still misses him but there's no need to take all of her stress out on me. I feel like I have really tried to be understanding and nice but she hasn't made much effort at all. But oh we'll it's decided we are leaving and it feels like a weight has been lifted already but can't wait to have our own space again even if it means we have to save longer to own our own place I'm happy renting.
Good idea with the letter might try it because there is no use in talking to her.

 

[fromthegut]

I only read a small bit fo your post. I think we have the same mother. Why is *my* disease8 always about her. She loves the attention !! I currently have her phone numbers blocked. She is unable to call me. Thank God she no longer drives or she would be stalkign me !! Driving by my place or even comign to my door.
On the other hand my sister avoids me. She won't even come to my apartment. She has been a couple times but won't return. I asked her once why she won't come over..and she hangs the phone up on me.
I think she can't handle her own emotions !!
I have a modest apartment. I live in an apartment that is rent suupplemented. I am also on disability. It may be that her fear is taht the same thing will happen to ehr daughter ! She ahs a lot of ehalth issues. Again it will be all aout her ! She learned from my mom and well it goes on. It's a family trait actually !!
God bless I ahve no kids and no hubby. I would midn ahvign a hubby or BF. But healthy one... I don't eman physical health.. but one who could be there for em. One with COMPASSION !!!!!
One of my neighbours asked me abut my mom and somethign about her helpign me .. I told her.. she lacks the compasion button. I should ahve said compassion gene !!
my dad had it.. but sadly he has been gone for over 20 years (

 

[ekay03]

I spent the rest of the evening throwing up. I really hate it here at the moment and I feel so sad even my boyfriend feels the same he is finding it very difficult and says when we move out he doesnt want to see her again.

Being the passive agressive girl that I am. I cant help but think perhaps you could direct your vomiting her direction. I doubt she would accuse you of making it up after that!

 

[Gabismommy]

Man that is terrible! You are basically in the opposite boat as me. My mother treats me great most of the time and it is safe to say that she is my best friend. I'm newly diagnosed. In November I had a bacterial infecttion of the stomach (H.Pylori), had an ultrasound on my abdomen to search for results, a colonoscopy, an endoscopy, had my gall bladder removed, have been diagnosed with Crohns, and have an abscess. This is all from November to now. I lost 35 pounds in that time. Yet my boyfriend acts like I am making it all up and anytime myself or someone else says anything about me not feeling good he gets mad and tells us how terrible he feels and how sick he is and blah blah. He says his knee is injured and he had surgery on a torn acl but there is no scar at all.. why would you want attention so bad that you pretend to be sick?! Ugh.

I hope things get better with your mother one day. Its nice to see someone that still respects and loves their mom even when treated badly. Not many people do that anymore. I hope she wakes up and realizes what Crohns really is like and supports you. Good luck.