Stretch Marks

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LittlebitsMommy

LittlebitsMommy

Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
180
What is th ebest thing for Kota to use for stretch marks. His little tummy is growing so fast. He woke up with stretch marks and then tonight there is another one. Is coco butter good or vitamin e oil?

We went to relay for life tonight. Ko got his hair painted purple. He had fun and had a smile on his face the whole time. But after we got home he cried for an hour. He worried so much about everything
 
I hear Bio-Oil is good for stretch marks. In Canada Costco carries it for a much cheaper price than other locations.
 
He is really starting to worry about everything. Finding out he had the hole in his heart has really sent him over the edge. I keep trying to tell him he is okay and they dont want to do anything about it. He is so worried they are going to have to do open heart surgery to fix it. He has cried off and on all night about it. He told me tonight that if he died he knew he would go to heaven. He also knew his Pop would be there waiting and try to make him so he is not so scared :( I dont know what to tell him other than he is going to be okay. And thats its okay to worry. He knows he can come to me and talk to me about anythings thats bothering him.

He says it just seems like there is something new everyday. Something else for him to try and handle. As if all his other problems werent enough. His eyes are giving him all kinds of trouble doctor ordered an eye exam for Tuesday.

Sorry for the vent I just wish there was something I could do for him. I know it could be so much worse and I am so thankful its not.
 
*sob* That brought a memory to the front of my brain:
about a year after V was dx, I said to her, "were you afraid you were going to die when you were so sick?" (She had been near death)
She said, (matter of fact voice) "Oh I knew I was and I was fine with that. I knew I'd go to heaven and I felt so bad, that if that was how my life was going to be, I'd rather go there".

Oh...heartbreak...she never expressed this WHEN sick, only a year later when I ASKED...they keep so much in and their little hearts get heavy...*crying* So much they likely don't tell us...:frown:
 
Oh man guys...:hug:...do all our kids go through this? :(

Julie, I asked Sarah just about the same thing. A couple of days after her emergency surgery, when the dust had settled, I asked her if she knew how sick she was and she said..."Yes, I always knew I was seriously ill and at times thought I might die". God, it still breaks my heart when I think about it.

Matt was never in that situation but said to me during his first hospital admission..."I will never waste my time again". I never thought he did!

Their depth of understanding and insight never ceases to amaze and astound me. :ghug:

Dusty. x:heart:x:heart:x
 
I tried to put myself in heaven when just turned 13 years. amazingly, i just knew i was so ill and my life was gonna be crohns with all its side effects. strangely my mum brought me a cup of tea at 12.15 am, cos i had gone to bed having spent what money i had on tablets. one sip of tea, and i couldn't believe i was still living, and hell i threw up. lasted the whole night, so painful. thought i would die throwing up!

ho hum. i was right, 50 this year and still living with crohns. i wish to god it had worked. life hasn't, through this illness, and all its other manifestations, been quite what a human might have imagined for themselves. Thank god for the internet and this forum cos i'm really quite housebound. I know those kids of yours told the truth. thank god they were born to caring mums, unfortunately i wasn't. its so life altering, i think any parent on here is doing their kid a big, big favour.

And to Dusty, what a dedicated mum you are. i have sincerely found your posts informitive, even your joke contributions, lol. See we do laugh, despite!!!!
 
P.s I meant to say that i too have stretch marks from swollen legs, they do fade, believe me. but they are quite painful when occurring, but those i know do recommend bio oil
 
Dusty, isn't that the most awful chilling feeling to hear that they realized they were so desperately sick and death was a real possibility and still didn't act up about it...V never complained, always used her manners even when she was too weak to sit upright in the hospital bed and couldn't stand to get to the bedside commode...ok enough...*sobbing*

Spooky, HUGS, :hug: I too had a mother who was...less than ideal. I learned how NOT to parent from her, that's about all I got from her of any value.

apologies, littelbitsm, for small derail of your thread...:shifty-t:
 
It surely is Julie and Sarah was just like V too. I well remember the night before what turned out to be her surgery day, it was 11pm, the middle of winter, icy, and bitterly cold. She was in pain and I insisted that we were taking her to hospital. Her reply was..."Are you sure Mum? I don't want Dad to have to drive up there at this time and in this weather". Oh man, I am crying just writing it out!

Bless all our babies! :ghug:

Dusty. :cry:
 
Well I am another one who didnt have much of a mom. My kids always say how sorry they are my mom is like she is I always tell them they have no reason to be sorry. We cant change her.. All I can do is make sure I am not like her. I love my mom because she gave birth to me. If I wasnt born I wouldnt have my beautiful children. But I in no way want to be like her. Sorry if that sounds to crappy.

Even with everything Ko has been through he always uses his manners. Everyone always comments on how nice and well mannered he is even feeling so bad. It breaks my heart that he feels the way he does and that there is nothing I can do to make him feel better. He laid in my arms last night and cried and cried :(. Then when he went to sleep I just laid there and watched him sleep and cried.

I know this is going to sound bad or maybe stupid. I am not even sure how to being to put it into words. I know he has been through so much. He is so brave and strong. His strength is unbelievable. I learn something from him everyday. I know he has such a long hard road ahead of him. I also know we havent seen the worst part of this horrible disease. Hearing everyone elses stories they seem so much worse. I keep trying to tell myself Marcia this isnt that bad you need to prepare yourself it will get worse. But I am just so scared. I dont let Ko or the other kids know how scared I am. Because if they knew I was that scared that would freak them out. I am the strong one. I am the one that always holds everything together. The one that reassures everyone everything will be okay. DH told me the other day he was sorry that he wasnt as strong as I am. He said he wished he was but just wasnt. But this time I am so worried.. ANd have caught myself thinking Will everything be okay?

I know I worry all the time. Is he eatting the right things? Is he sleeping enough? Is the pain getting worse? His heart rate is to high? What if someone is sick and comes around him? If his bady is going through so much now. How will he be okay when he is older? What if the meds cause cancer? He is so worried about cancer. SInce my dad died of cancer. I can only imagine how Ko must feel. I can only imagine the fear he has and feels everyday.

All you other moms are so much stronger than I am or stronger than I feel I am.
Thank you all so much for listening to me and answering my questions. It means so much to me. When I come here I feel so bad because I am never able to help anyone. I feel like a real dummy. Thanks again for everything.

One of the times I had to take Ko to the hospital. Dad was going to meet us at the hospital because he was at work. Ko said mom dad doesnt have to come. I dont want him to leave work and the ER say nothing is wrong. Other than I am full of poop like they did last time :( He is always so worried about everyone else. He never wants to be a problem or any trouble.

My heart breaks for our babies and all they have had to go through.

Thanks for sharing your stories with me
 
Oh Marcia...:hug:...we aren't stronger hun. We do exactly what you do, stay strong in front our kids and loved ones and then when we are alone we have our private break downs. My kids are both in remission and I still shed a tear when I am alone, I have to let it out else how do I regather my strength and move on.

We all worry too, I once made a joke, or was it a joke :lol:, that all I do is worry, worry, worry, so much so that I should change my name to WorryKat!

And you are certainly no dummy! When Sarah was diagnosed with Crohn's my total knowledge of the disease could be stored on the back of a postage stamp! I know it seems like we know heaps BUT that is only borne out of years of living with this and I sure as hell still have loads to learn, heck just coming onto the forum everyday I'm sure teaches me something new!

:hang: Mum, you are doing a fab job! :thumleft:

Dusty. x:heart:x:heart:x
 
Aw, Marcia...if you lived near I'd have you over for some tea and hugs...stop it, I knew nothing about Crohn's at first either and I have a degree in a med field, I thought IBS and IBD were the SAME thing! :eek:
It's not like it's something we'd read up on for the joy of it.

So don't let the docs make you feel stupid, some are like that by nature, I have known more than a few who are less than "saintlike". It was sheer luck we got the GI we did for V.

As to the worry...welcome to my personal hell, sorry you're here. :hallo3:
V almost died, no melodramatic exaggeration there, she had cardiac effect, muscle wasting and was headed towards organ failure, shock and certain death (death is unavoidable when 33% of body weight is lost...she had lost close to that and in a very short time) and I STILL have PTSD from it. Nightmares, daymares, obsessive thoughts, crying...after four years.

This lifelong serious illness thing is a horror, no way to sugarcoat that. And yes, fear of cancer from constantly screwing around with their immune system, is a reality.

So you're not alone, I am a Debbie Downer a lot about this.
The forum is a big sanity aid, and we are all here for you whenever you need. :ghug:
 
Thank yall so much. You truly have no idea how much you all have help me. Because I feel so alone. I know that Steve and the kids are here but I still just feel alone. I dont know how to describe it.

My daddy was always my rock. I went to with everything. He passed away in my arms 5 years ago after fighting as hard as he could against cancer. So yes the fear of cancer plays a part in my head daily. And I know Ko worries because he remembers how hard Pop fought. Ko reminds me so much of my daddy. Such a fighter. Never wants to be a problem and always tries to hide his tears for everyone with a smile.

I have always tried to be close to my mom. Not real sure why other than she is my mom. She is a very bitter person. So is my sister and brother. She never calls to check on the kids. I finally decided to call her a couple of weeks ago. Guess I just wanted to hear my mommas voice. Wow was that a mistake. She started with telling me Crohns was always manageable. I just needed to be happy he didnt have something that would kill him. Then when I said that Skyler was going to be tested she asked me how I could I have let Ko give this to Sky. She once again told me how horrible of a mother I was nothing new for her to say to me. She said if I was a good mom my kids wouldnt be sick. Then she went into telling me everyone knew I was lying about Kota being sick. I just wanted attention. I breastfeed Kota longer than most and pumped for several years thinking maybe my breastmilk would help him. My mom thought I was so stupid for doing that for him. Before she hung up on me she had to say Well I guess your stupidness with nursing Kota didnt do anything. You milk didnt keep him from getting sick.

I know I am not perfect and I make mistakes, but I try my very best everyday. I did get married at 14. I had Becca at 15, Sky at 20 and Ko at 25. I have always taken care of my kids. I am still married and in love with Steve after 23 years. My family is my whole life. Being a mother and a good mother is all I have ever wanted to be. I give it my everything. I guess thats why I find it so hard for a mother to say such hurtful things to her child.

Sorry for the vent. Just having an emotional day. Thanks again'
 
As hard as it is hun try not to have your Mum second guessing yourself...:hug:...you are doing a fabulous job. :) If your mother thinks that if you did a better job your kids wouldn't be sick then we must be the biggest bunch of deadbeat parent's ever hanging out here! :lol:

We all make mistakes Marcia, not one of us is perfect. Your mother's comments are obviously mean't to hurt you and to pull you down. Perhaps she is jealous of the wonderful relationship you have with your children and at how well you handle everything otherwise why would she feel so threatened. I know it hurts hun and it always will because she is your Mum but just know that the people in your life that really matter and really care don't think that of you. :hug:

Dusty. xxx
 
Marcia, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down right now. :ghug: It's horrible when our fears get the best of us; it just becomes a downward spiral! :( My son was only diagnosed last May and I knew nothing about Crohns! I still know so very little, my only knowledge is of what we've so far experienced. Don't ever feel you are not helping anyone - your understanding and support is so valuable! As often as not, we all come to 'be with' a friend who understands and can offer heartfelt support - you don't need to know about meds to do that. :Karl: And, the 'crohns' knowledge... well, that will come. :frown:

I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, to alleviate your worries. :( As everyone else has said, I have also had my very sad moments when it seems my worries are overwhelming and I don't know if I can continue to be strong and positive but, it has always turned around. I have always felt better in a day or two (or three :blush:), and everyone's understanding and support here has been a big part of that! Don't ever feel alone, we all understand. :hug:

I hope you're beginning to feel a bit less overwhelmed. And, I hope with all my heart that Kota will begin to feel better. It's so much for our babies to deal with... :ghug:
 
I know I probably shared more than most people cared to hear lol. For years I have been made to feel like I should be embarrassed for having Becca so young and getting married when I did. Alot of people thought and probably wanted me to fall on my butt, but I didnt. I just made me work harder and put even more into being a mom and wife.

No I didnt choose for my kids to follow in my footsteps and make the same chooses I made. But not one day have I ever regret any decisions I made. I have taught my kids that whatever we are faced with we will make it through it together as a family. And that they can come and talk to me about anything.

I have a 22 year old daughter that had her Cosmetolgy license by the time she graduated high school. Now chooses to be supervisor of CVS photo lab. I have a 17 year old son that graduated 2 years early from high school. He now works with DH. And Ko well he is my super special boy :) He has so much to offer this world.

I am sure I dont do everything like everyone else but I know for a fact my kids know how much I love them. And there is not a night that goes by that they dont all come give me a kiss good night and tell me that they love me.

This is my life and I am very glad to be living it. I dont always like all the bumps in the road or the roller coaster from hell I feel like I am in right now. But all this is what makes me ME and makes me the person I am today. My kids make me who I am today.

Sorry for the ramble.. Hope everyone is having a good day.
 
What a wonderful post!

There will always be someone questioning your decisions, etc. :voodoo: But, I decided years ago that as long as I truly believed I was doing all I could possibly do to be a good mom, I wouldn't let anyone's criticism get me down (of course, my mom always feels the need to 'offer advice'! :emot-nyd:). I may second guess myself a million times :blush: but it's rarely because someone else is passing judgement on me! (And, trust me, that's not because everyone else thinks I'm a 'model mom'! :lol:)

I know for a fact my kids know how much I love them. And there is not a night that goes by that they dont all come give me a kiss good night and tell me that they love me. -- what more could any mom ask for??? :thumleft: :thumleft:
 
Marcia...I think personally that you sound kind of amazing. And your marriage lasting that long from a young age...admirable, not shameful. :kiss:

And if my mother weren't dead I'd think we were sisters...she would've said similar things just to spread the hatred around...she thrived on making folks feel bad.
 

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