The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

[Mehita]

We went to the middle school orientation yesterday. The good news is we have a new district nurse who is coming from 10 years at Children's Hospital. Much to my surprise, the former nurse left her many notes on DS and told her to make DS and his 504 a priority. :dance:

The bad news is that DS was a nervous wreck for the orientation and I'm very worried he's going to be a mess next Tuesday for the first day of school. His psych appt isn't until Sept 16th and they're completely booked until then. They squeezed us in based on the GI referral. It may sound silly, but now that the GI really brought the anxiety issue to my attention, I'm finally fully seeing it in everything and everywhere. How did I not see it before or realize how much it is a part of his life??? Any suggestions for next week? :ybatty:

The ugly is that BM's are still all over the board and I don't know what to do, if anything, about it. I haven't changed anything with the Miralax, still 1/2 cap every day. I was just kind of hoping things would have worked themselves out before school started. Some days there's nothing and other days he'll go 4-5 times. Some days just little mushy squirts, other days the massive dumps. I don't get it. Maybe this is ok and normal??

 

[Tesscorm]

Good news re the nurse! Nice to know he'll be taken care of while at school.

Why is he nervous? Is it just starting school itself or is he specifically nervous about any crohns issues while at school? If it's because of crohns, I would go through 'back-up' plans, ie he can call you if he's unwell, perhaps give him cab money and the phone number so he knows if he can't reach you, he can still get home right away (not sure if this is feasible where you and school are located), make sure he knows where the bathrooms are, suggest he take a set of extra clothes just in case... Sometimes knowing plans are in place for the 'worst case', alleviates some of the anxiety. :ghug: Also, if he's going to be meeting lots of new kids, remind him that he can simply give an easy answer if any questions him on food or anything (ie I have a sensitive stomach or allergies - if he doesn't want to, he certainly doesn't have to give the full story to kids he doesn't know yet). :ghug:

 

[Mehita]

Thanks, Tess. I think it's just BTS jitters and possibly having new teachers who may not understand. Same school, same friends, same bathrooms, 8th grade so top dog. We have back up plans to our back up plans. Clothes and food in the nurses office, bathroom passes galore. I just hate that he lets himself get so worried... and then it affects him physically. He had a stomach ache all night and couldn't sleep last night.

Historically, even pre-dx, we've never had a good start to the school year. Not sure why I was getting my hopes up. Now I'm getting all anxious! *LOL*

 

[Tesscorm]

Hopefully, the jitters (and your worry ) will go away after the first day. Even good excitement can affect nerves. Hoping he feels well over the weekend and Tuesday is a breeze!

 

[DanceMom]

My daughter has always seemed on the anxious side as well, until lately. For whatever reason, openly discussing her health issues with others has really made her more laid back and easy going all around. Perhaps she was always worried about what others may be thinking or guessing, and now that things are out in the open there is nothing to hide. For example, last year she would have died of embarrassment that her cheeks were noticeably puffy. Now she just explains to her friends that it is from a medication and she even cracks jokes and calls herself a marshmallow midget (sorry, we are not always "politically correct"....lol).

I really hope that talking with the counselor/psychologist eases his mind. Sometimes just talking about things can be so therapeutic. Also, not sure how open he is with his friends but maybe sharing some info about Crohn's (in a middle school boy sort of way) will be helpful to him. A's friends were very accepting and understanding and she said she now feels a huge weight has been lifted from her.

I hate that our kiddos have worries that we can't just "make better"!

 

[CarolinAlaska]

The start of school was always an issue for us - Jaedyn would be physically sick and unable to sleep a full 2 weeks before it started. Homeschooling has fixed this for us, but isn't a perfect world either. I hope his first day at school ends up being great for him and helps relieve all his fears. Poor boy!

 

[Ands]

Mehita

My ds also suffers badly from anxieties; think they have always been there but Crohns made it so much worse! We started seeing mental health nurse in June, the first meeting ds, dh and myself went in but 2nd visit only J went in. Think it has helped him to discuss things with someone outside the family who understands the illness. It made him realise he is not alone and his feelings are normal.

J was kept in hospital last night due to either nasty bug or flare and I have to say he coped better than he did a year ago. He is not so ill this time but he has matured as well. Just been texting him and he was annoyed they woke him for meds at 11.30pm!!!

J was very worried initially about 'talking' about his problems but we really think it is beginning to help him. J turned 12 a couple weeks ago and it is such a difficult age isn't it.

I hope next week goes well for your ds. Mine is back on Tuesday also.

Xxxx

 

[Niks]

I know exactly how you feel about your boy and his back to school jitters. My eldest son was just awful going back to school. He had tummy pains, was physically sick, would cry. He even got to the point where I would drop him off and he would literally run back home before I got home.

He did get better. His school worked really hard with him and his anxieties. He had a 'pass' that he just had to show to any teacher and he could go to a room they'd set up for him. To be honest, once he had his 'safety pass' he really didn't need it! I guess it was just the safety net he needed.

He is 24 now and he really can't explain what made him so anxious! He still doesn't like being centre of attention and will run a mile, but is so much more confident in everything he does.

Can you talk to the school, and let them know how anxious he is? Maybe come up with a plan if he really feels like he can't cope. He probably won't need to use it if it is in place.

Good luck :ghug:

 

[Johnnysmom]

My son had that anxiety when we moved to Cincinnati last year. And I do believe it can affect their tummy and BM's.

We told him he needed to give it a try and we would find a way to work out an issues he was having. It really helped to have a friend he hung out with a bit before school started. Could you arrange something fun for him an his friends to do before school so he can start to look forward to the social aspect?

((((Hugs)))) mom. My guess is it will be just fine and after a day or two things will settle for him. Let us know how he is getting along.

 

[Mehita]

DS was up most of the night... just nerves. He was kind enough to come into my room every 15 minutes and let me know he was still up. I'm not a coffee drinker, but I've already had two cups today!

He managed a muffin for breakfast and stayed out of the bathroom this morning. That's always what gets us is when he heads into the bathroom 30 minutes before the bus comes, so I was quite happy when he made it out the door. A fairly uneventfull morning overall *knock on wood*.

He didn't have a BM yesterday, which makes me a little worried, but usually anxiety triggers BM's, so maybe that's a good thing?

I'm off to the annual neighborhood First Day of School party for all the moms. Cheers!

 

[Patricia56]

If you can find a meditation tape/app or mindfulness one and ask him to listen, he may find they help him relax and let go of some of the anxiety. Encouraging him to take deep calming breaths throughout his day and whenever he's feeling worried will help him immensely. For one thing it combats the most obvious physical symptom of anxiety - shallow breathing. It also causes the lungs to press on the spinal column and signal the brain to relax.

If he has intense anxiety at times, the best approach is to just go with flow of the anxiety and not fight the physical sensations while at the same time reminding oneself that it will only last a minute or two. You can tolerate anything for a minute or two. Then it will be over and you can take deep calming breaths and go on with your day.

Your sympathetic understanding helps a lot too. One less thing for him to be anxious about - what his parents will think of him when they find out he's so scared of things.