Update from me

[guest78]

Hi everyone. As some of you might know/will have read. I have been really struggling over the past few months with a severe flare which along with pred, a traumatic test and a hospital stay has triggered awful anxiety and very low mood. After battling since September to pick myself up I finally went to my GP this morning and have been put on Citalopram. I was very against anti depressants but have given in as I have exhausted most other options. I do feel I have let myself down a bit - not being able to cope. But my GP was incredibly supportive. & said she was surprised she hadn't seen me sooner. And that noone would expect me to treat my crohns on my own so why should I expect to treat my mind on my own.
I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who has provided me with support over the past months I really appreciate it hopefully now I can start to feel more like myself again. Even though the Crohns Isn't under control.

X

 

[Grumbletum]

Good for you and I'm glad you have such a supportive GP. Hopefully the meds will give you some breathing space and help you in the healing process.

 

[Jmrogers4]

I'm glad you went and I have to agree with her sometimes you need a little extra help.

 

[guest78]

Yup. I think it's just the extra push I need to get myself trough it. I am still getting my head around the fact I am on anti-depressants. It's not like the 'normal me' at all. But oh well. I just want to start feeling like myself.

 

[UnXmas]

I have felt similarly about antidepressants. But when I was on prednisone, it gave me mood swings. Sometimes I felt mild "euphoria" (which is an oxymoron, but euphoria was the closest to what I was feeling on the side effects list, though what I felt was more subtle than that implies). Most of the time I was just really high strung and restless, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, never felt relaxed. My doctor prescribed me an antidepressant to counteract this anxiety and insomnia.

Taking it was the best decision. In some ways I actually felt more like myself.

When I was taking prednisone without the antidepressant, it unnerved me to find that my emotions and mood were not under my control - they weren't logically connected to my circumstances.

But it's true what you said about treating mental symptoms just as we treat physical ones. I've also come to realise that even when a medication effects our moods - even our personalities - that doesn't mean it's determining them. There are many many factors. My mood at any given moment may be altered by whether or not my digestive system's acting up today. Or by the mood of someone I'm spending time with. Or by the weather. And even though I'm taking antidepressant medication, that doesn't change the fact that I'm still my "self" - whether you view that as a spiritual soul, a product of genetics, or the result of the enviroment I grew up in (or any combination of those things). It just adds one more influence.

You felt unhappy because of the particular things that happened to you. You didn't choose for things to be that way. With medications, you add in another factor which will influence your mood, but it's one you're able to have a little more control over.

 

[guest78]

You explain it all really well, thats exactly right. i wouldn't say day-to-day i am a depressive or have a depressed personality. i am having a depressing time and you could say 'in a depression' due to other circumstances way outside my control. i think changing my mindset to that i need to look after myself. and not just physically but mentally too, rather than constantly expecting too much of myself. i make my life a lot harder and i need to learn to take some form of control over the things i can. i think remembering that we are still us despite these influences, medications etc is really important. i have recently felt like i have completely lost who i am, and just become this big anxious, sad person with crohns.

i know exactly what you mean about the pred, it scares me that i was having thoughts, worries and feelings that were irrelevant and illogical. they were things i have never worried over before and made no sense. i hate that they seem so uncontrollable and seemed to completely take over!
awful stuff.

thanks so much for your support UnXmas xxx