Utterly pi**ed off

[littlemissh]

I think I've turned into a total self obsessed whinge bag.

I always used to be such a positive person and try to stay positive but today i'm fed up.
After cancelling lots of holidays because of me last year we (hubby and children) are having a short break next week which I had been looking forward to. Today I have started to dread it.

1. We can't go to the restaurants we used to because I am on such a restricted diet and am not looking forward to the nightmare of ordering my weird meals.
Lunch is ok as I can have white bread etc etc. Dinner though- even a place that sells pasta is awkward..can't have the tomato toppings, or cheese toppings, pizzas is out and garlic bread. Just imagine going to an indian and asking for a micro sized portion of plain boiled rice!

2 I am going to have to endure going swimming looking like a skeleton or yet again tell the kids I'm not swimming with them or we are not going swimming...again. I really wish I could put some weight on...but it is taking FOREVER to put even a pound on. I can't even have sugar now because of the pred.
I know I should be patient with the azathioprine, even pred hasn't helped with my weight. But I am feeling impatient.

3. My daughter had a friend round for tea today, she's only a child and so didn't understand the social etiquette of not asking why I am eating different food to everyone else.

4. I am becoming a 'me me me person' as all I think about now is this disease and it's effect on my life. It's because it has taken over my life. When will I feel better? When will I have to stop living on supplement drinks?


I know I should just get on with it, ignore what other people think and usually I can but the thought of this holiday and all it entails...and we are supposed to be going to disney in america in early april...I am having an anxiety attack just thinking about it.

Sorry for such a whinging post but I just felt like having a witter and I don't want to witter at my husband who has been so supportive but has probably had enough of this disease as well.

THE END

 

[ameslouise]

Hi Little Miss - Sorry you are feeling this way. Maybe you are making a bigger deal out of the eating issues than everyone else. I am not saying it ISN"T a big deal, but maybe it's bigger to you than to those around you. As for restaurants, they get special requests all the time. I don't think it's any big deal to ask for plain pasta with olive oil and a side of white bread. You're paying - it's none of their damn business WHY you are ordering the way you are. Who cares if all you eat is plain white rice and a piece of broiled chicken?

As for swimming, can you buy a swimsuit that plays down how thin you are? Maybe a long tankini top and a skirted bottom?

Instead of thinking of the drawbacks, think of them as challenges and how you can beat them!!! For your daughter's friend, take the time to explain, at her age level, why you have to have special food. There's nothing to be embarrased about!

Yes, it is easy to become obsessed with our disease and how it affects our lives. I think we HAVE to think about it all the time because we need to take care of ourselves and do the best we can to deal with things within our "limitations."

Try to look forward to your vacation time with your family not as a drag because of dealing with Crohn's on vacation, but simply as time with your familiy.

Good luck - hang in there. Try to feel better about yourself!

- Amy

PS Disney is great but can def have its challenges in the dietary department. Do NOT sign up for the dining plan as your options will be really limited. Lots of good options in Epcot's World Showcase. Don't have an anxiety attack! It's the Happiest Place on Earth!!

 

[MADiMarc]

Hi. I understand what you are saying about the disease running our lives and I get tired of it too. Tired of being "special" and all that. I think Amy is on the right track though. I really don't care about when we eat out as I used to be a waitperson and you would not believe the crap people ordered. Asking for plain pasta with a bit of olive oil is NOT over the top, trust me!
I am way too skinny too. Have lost everything, including what little ****s I had! No curves on me, I am now built like a 12 year old boy! I found that the miracle swimsuit works well for me. At my skinniest, I even wore a swimsuit made for ladies with mastectomies. I felt strange about it at first until the lady at the shop told me that many of her repeat customers were ladies with just our type of problems. Don't know if she was b.s.ing me or not, but it made me feel not as strange about it!
It is okay to feel this way, you know. I get the feeling from your post that you are beating yourself up over your feelings. Go easier on yourself, our bodies beat us up enough!
You will enjoy Disney, it is a great place. Very, very clean restrooms!
Hoping you feel better,
Michele :hug:

 

[littlemissh]

Thanks Amy and Michelle,
The ideas for the different swimming suits are good , no time for this break but a mission for April.
I hear what you are saying about ordering what I want and so far the waiters/waitresses have always been very helpful but I just find it embarrassing.

I've never been the most confident person except in my work where I am a different person(probably part of my problem - being told I cannot go back to work for ages) , so find it difficult to just think ' who cares what they think' . I need to become a bit more bolshy I think, get a few piercings, tattoos and an attitude.

 

[AndiGirl]

I think the ideas for the swim suits are great! Above all, please try to have a good time at Disney World. I love place! They are correct when they call it, "The Happiest Place on Earth."

 

[ameslouise]

I'm a big fan of the diagnosis tattoo - got my first one when I was DX with UC and my second when I was re-DX with CD. The second one is on my wrist and is a reminder to me of all this is good in my life - my wonderful family and support system, without which I would be nothing. It makes me smile every day when I see it and it makes me remember that I can get thru anything!

Go for it!! -Ames

 

[lamor32twigs]

I hear you so loud and clear with the family situation. You are defiantly not alone in this. I am sure my husband is sick of this disease as well, and he isn't the one fighting the day to day battles.
I love some of the suggestions above. Most of all...keep your head up and try to keep a smile on your face. :hang:

 

[littlemissh]

Thanks guys, well we have arrived and they want to go to an Indian restaurant tonight....
It reminds me of finding Nemo- instead if just keep swimming it should be 'just keep smiling' ! .