Venting...again.

[afidz]

I think for the most part, everyone knows by now what I am going through. I am at the very end of my rope. Originally surgery was scheduled for February 18th, but for some reason it got pushed back to March 25th. I am miserable. Everything hurts. Everything is swollen. And to top it all off, I feel like there is a knife sticking out of where my belly button should be 24/7.
Everyday my hernia(s) get worse. I am TERRIFIED that they either (a) are not going to be able to get all my organs back in place, or (b) accidentley perforate or cut one of my organs during surgery or (c) or both things are going to happen. I happen to like my organs and would rather hold onto them a while longer.

I did, however find someone on here that had their abdomen reconstructed like I am about to get done, and she is living a normal life again so that is a bit reassuring. It was also very comforting to me that I am not the only one that has had to have their abdomen reconstructed on the forum.

Everyday is a mental battle with myself. I just don't want to do it anymore. My sister messaged me on facebook and asked me if I was ever going to have a normal life. I don't think she reallized the impact that little question had on my mental well being. I want to be like everyone else. I want to go to work and full time and bitch about my job or my boss or whatever. I want to have bad credit because I was a stupid teenager and spent too much money on my credit cards. Not because I have acquired millions of dollars of medical debt. I want to worry about what I view as the simple things in life.

Everyone on here has been so supportive of me, even though my issues are not directly Crohn's related. I don't know where I would be mentally if I didn't find this site, thank you all for all of the advice that has been and support that has been given to me.

Sorry, I really rambled, I just have so many thoughts in my head, and I don't know how to process it all right now.

 

[SarahBear]

:ghug:

 

[heatherb]

I can't imagine what you're going through, but you have my full support and I'll always lend an ear if you want to vent.

Chin up chuck, I hope your first day of classes went well.

H

 

[furiousfunker]

hey, i must be the minority because im afraid i dont know whats going on for you, only what i have just read in this thread :/

You have to think positively, i know its easier said than done, but just keep reminding yourself these surgeons know what they're doing, they have probably done it before and there is probably far more chance of it all going well than bad! and then you can start living the dream about having a job you hate!

sorry i couldnt be much more help, but you have all my support and i hope it all goes well for you!

 

[xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx]

It must be so frustrating your surgery being pushed back!
I know I'm in a different situation from you but I have been waiting to start infliximab since march last year now so I know what it feels like to wonder if things are ever going to change, if things are going to happen and if you will feel better.
You just have to hope they will and that the surgery will be the next step for you turning your life around
x x x

 

[Ya noy]

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so very much.

I don't know anyone personally who has undergone surgery for a hernia, but understand fellow hernia sufferers (reportedly) include: Madonna, Celine Dion, Charlie Sheen, Nelson Mandela, Brett Favre, Victoria's Secret supermodel Karolina Kurkova, and Linkin Park's lead singer, Chester Bennington.

I hope everything works out for you as well.