What to do, What to do....

[Landonsdaddy]

Ok so on June 11 I go to see the surgeons to get the date for my surgery. Now the problem. My grandmother who I consider to be my mother has been sick and recently had two heart attacks within a hour so she is sick. How do I tell her that her only grandson is about to have part of his intestions taken out. Some say just tell her here is the other problen she watched my grandfather die after he had part of his intestions taken out due to colon cancer. So I dont know what to do. I want to tell her but I dont want her to be worring in the state she is in. My wife has told me to tell her but I just dont know. Can yall give me some advice on what to do?

 

[jwfoise]

I'm so sorry for your grandmother. Not knowing the type of person she is, I can't say what will be best for her. I personally am a want-to-know type of person, but my folks were kind of the opposite (and I watched my mom die from colon cancer, so I know the feeling).

If you do tell her, I would try to put a positive spin on it - yes you are having surgery, but this is going to make you better, and it is not at all like colon cancer. I suspect the cancer is what killed your grandfather, not the surgery - the surgery just wasn't able to prevent it.

Good luck

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Can you maybe be honest that you are having an operation but don't get graphic and make it sound very routine and matter of fact. A no big deal kind of surgery, you will be good in no time?

 

[2thFairy]

Why not just wait until you have an actual date for your surgery and tell her then. She will have had a few more weeks of recovery by then and will be physically stronger.

 

[CrohnsChicago]

Im so sorry that sounds like a very difficult situation.

I agree with the above, wait until you have a confirmed surgery date and instructions just to prevent any unnecessary or prolonged worry. Also maybe putting a twist on the explanation of the procedure so that it doesn't sound like something serious/major that would cause serious stress on her.

I hope the both of you are able to come to better health very soon. :hug: