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Removed becasue I'm not angry anymore.
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What Wrong with my Husband?
- Thread starter heartofwisdom
- Start date
Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:
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- Nov 14, 2006
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Honestly, two different thing could be going on here.
Firstly, he could just be an all out down right nasty jerk who couldn't care less about anyone but himself.
But, there could be something else. Its possible that he feels like he didn't sign up for this (a person who got sick or chronic diseases) It's also possible that there's an underlying need of his that isn't being met. Maybe its sexually or emotionally... I don't know. And no you didn't ask to get sick either, and its not fair he's treating you this way. Maybe he needs someone to talk to. I know when I'm flaring my boyfriend doesn't see it until I start losing lots of weight or until I am so tired I can't do anything. I think for him its almost harder for to accept that I'm not invincible and that I'm sick than it is for me. Almost like he just ignores that I'm sick again and pretends like everything is fine.
This all being said, my boyfriend doesn't treat me the way your husband does you.
I think you guys should sit down and try to communicate about how you're feeling. If he won't have any of it, then maybe its time to rethink things.
It's truly possible that he's just a jerk and he doesn't think about how his actions make others feel. Guys have a tendency to forget that people have feelings. I think its the testosterone. If that is the reason for his actions, then I wouldn't have it. I would let him know that I'm not going to let someone bully me and make me feel worse than I already do with these diseases and if he loves me and wants to be with me, then he needs to change and start accepting more of the chores around the house.
Good luck, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. It isn't fair, but neither is life... as we all wholly know.
Firstly, he could just be an all out down right nasty jerk who couldn't care less about anyone but himself.
But, there could be something else. Its possible that he feels like he didn't sign up for this (a person who got sick or chronic diseases) It's also possible that there's an underlying need of his that isn't being met. Maybe its sexually or emotionally... I don't know. And no you didn't ask to get sick either, and its not fair he's treating you this way. Maybe he needs someone to talk to. I know when I'm flaring my boyfriend doesn't see it until I start losing lots of weight or until I am so tired I can't do anything. I think for him its almost harder for to accept that I'm not invincible and that I'm sick than it is for me. Almost like he just ignores that I'm sick again and pretends like everything is fine.
This all being said, my boyfriend doesn't treat me the way your husband does you.
I think you guys should sit down and try to communicate about how you're feeling. If he won't have any of it, then maybe its time to rethink things.
It's truly possible that he's just a jerk and he doesn't think about how his actions make others feel. Guys have a tendency to forget that people have feelings. I think its the testosterone. If that is the reason for his actions, then I wouldn't have it. I would let him know that I'm not going to let someone bully me and make me feel worse than I already do with these diseases and if he loves me and wants to be with me, then he needs to change and start accepting more of the chores around the house.
Good luck, I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. It isn't fair, but neither is life... as we all wholly know.
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- Jul 24, 2008
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I am so sorry your husband is acting like that. Do you think that you being sick freaks and/or stresses him out? Maybe he blows it off because he just can't handle it. Maybe he shuts down to protect himself from worrying about you. I think you should try to talk to him about what is going on. Hopefully it will give you some insight as to why he is acting like that.
For me my husband has been great, it is my family that is weird with me. Every time I try to tell them about something concerning my disease they always tell me that they feel that way sometimes too, or maybe it will just go away. It is like they forget that I have a chronic disease or they think that I am making my symptoms up. Not sure which. It is frustrating, but that is why I come to the forum...to get the support that I need. Sometimes I feel obsessed with finding out more about the disease...but hello don't you want to know what is going on in your body, I do! I research lots of things, but it seems when I tell people stuff about the disease it is like they think I am looking for attention or something. This is totally not true. Yeah it's a big part of my life...it totally changed my life.
Good luck with your husband. I hope things turn around for you.
For me my husband has been great, it is my family that is weird with me. Every time I try to tell them about something concerning my disease they always tell me that they feel that way sometimes too, or maybe it will just go away. It is like they forget that I have a chronic disease or they think that I am making my symptoms up. Not sure which. It is frustrating, but that is why I come to the forum...to get the support that I need. Sometimes I feel obsessed with finding out more about the disease...but hello don't you want to know what is going on in your body, I do! I research lots of things, but it seems when I tell people stuff about the disease it is like they think I am looking for attention or something. This is totally not true. Yeah it's a big part of my life...it totally changed my life.
Good luck with your husband. I hope things turn around for you.
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- Dec 8, 2008
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>>I feel obsessed with finding out more about the disease.<<
This is what he said. Don't get obsessed. I'm a researcher. I was a police investigator. Its what I do -- Learn about about things. It would be stupid not to learn about my digestive system. What if surgery isn't needed? I need to know facts to make decisions!
sigh
This is what he said. Don't get obsessed. I'm a researcher. I was a police investigator. Its what I do -- Learn about about things. It would be stupid not to learn about my digestive system. What if surgery isn't needed? I need to know facts to make decisions!
sigh
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- Nov 12, 2008
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- 2,608
im so sorry to hear about your lack of support from your husband. being only 18 i dont really have much experience or advice except that this is not good for you! or him either. or your kids.
have you thought about therapy maybe? maybe having an outside person to look at the situation would help with the communication between you two. either he cant see what youre going thru or he doesnt want to see it, thats my opinion. i think a therapist could help with this. at least it would give you someone to bounce ideas off of too!
good luck with everything
have you thought about therapy maybe? maybe having an outside person to look at the situation would help with the communication between you two. either he cant see what youre going thru or he doesnt want to see it, thats my opinion. i think a therapist could help with this. at least it would give you someone to bounce ideas off of too!
good luck with everything
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- Jan 15, 2009
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Its important to remember that some people are jerks by nature. Maybe he's just not a compassionate person.
R
rottengutgirl
Guest
My boyfriend was like that too....so I got the f rid of him!
