Will I be alone forever...

[Cupcakey83]

Ok, so Ive had Crohns for 19 years. I have had my ileostomy for a little or 5 years.

I was married before my ileostomy but as soon as I had my surgery, my marriage started taking a turn for the worse. He couldnt handle it and eventually my marriage ended in divorce because of my ostomy.

This was about 2 years ago.

Now, I have wanted to get back in the dating world, but have been super nervous to tell anyone I have a ostomy in fear that they will leave before even getting to know me and giving me a chance.

Ive been on a handful of dates, and I always end them after the 1st or 2nd because I dont want to have to tell them that I have an ostomy.

Well, I met this guy about 2 wks ago that we really have A LOT in common. He has had a tough life, medical wise, so we bonded and hit it off really well, really quick. Well he knew about my Crohns and about my ostomy. Last night, I got a little more indepth with him about my ostomy and really explained it and what not. He seemed ok with it, asked questions and was concerned. Well later on, I told him that I could potentially see this friendship turning into something more. Well his response back was 'Can we hold off on that for now?' Of course, I said yes and then we ended the convo. I saw him today for about 10 minutes and talked to him via chat and things were friendly.

Im afraid that my Crohns and ostomy scared him off. And this is what always happens. Now, I am not the type of person to get depressed. I am always upbeat, outgoing and fun. But this is just starting to take a toll on me, because I just have the feeling that Ill be alone forever because of my digestive problems.

Im only 29, Id like to have a relationship in life again, get married and have kids. but I just dont see that happening because of my Crohns...

 

[drewsphere]

I kinda understand what you are going through. My story is similar. The day I was diagnosed with UC (Crohn's didn't come till later), my wife left me without saying a word. Going through that kind of trauma is bad enough but going without your partner makes you doubt if anyone can love you with your condition. I had an ostomy before my pouch was put in and it can be tough to think your attractive. When the right guy comes around, then the ostomy is just a part of who you are and be loved as a whole person. Good for you to at least put yourself out there, for many, just taking that first step is an enormous challenge.

 

[Terriernut]

You will NOT be alone forever! Have you been on meetanostomate web site?

The right guy will come along. Perhaps take it slow and easy before you tell anyone, and develop friendship first and foremost. The ostomy conversation can come along eventually, but only after you've given yourself time to get to know them as friends first.

:kiss:

 

[deb123]

Hi Keri,

You are a beautiful person, not just this disease and its effects. Be confident and smile. Lots of people have conditions illnesses. Dont let it hold you back. You are no less of anything because of this disease. Just be yourself