WTF did you say?

[Snickerdoodle]

My oh so supportive knight in shining armor husband called me a "faker".
How's about I fake you a guestroom to sleep in tonight
And no, I don't give a crap if you have to hear "disgusting" noises coming out of the bathroom when I'm in it bleeding and diahreeaing and barfing. Wear ear plugs or move the f-ck out!

Thank you.

 

[Jeremiah]

Well, I haven't gotten to that point yet with my girlfriend, but I don't get much support or sympathy. Just had a big fight about it. I told her I have no choice living with it. But if she can't then she can get out. Nobody understands but ppl with our conditions. Not even doctors! I'm sorry to hear about ignorance of a loved one : (

 

[Grumbletum]

I think all of us hear these things from someone, but it's worse coming fom someone close :-( Makes you wonder how close they actually are.
My son said he thought I'd been 'putting it on a bit' when I was at my worst. It was only when I went into hospital that it hit home.

 

[KWalker]

Oh yes, love this invisible disease. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I've been sick so many times and hear people say "well you don't look sick". Unfortunately sometimes it takes takes being really sick or even hospitalized for people to realize were not "faking"

 

[Crohn's 35]

Awe Snickerdoodle! How that must of hurt and I would of said the exact same thing to him! I went through 2 assholes like that, one wouldnt even make me a tea as I was on the couch and my mom was there! He was gone... the next one whilst I am having my first surgery the idiot was out to dinner trying to flirt with our neighbour!

I have to say I am lucky with my now husband, even when my mother is not very supportive he calls me every day and never says an unkind word. He is a tough bugger but is so empathic with me. I scored large this time.

You don't have to answer to anyone and YOU look after yourself. If he keeps it up, throw him out with the trash. You deserve better than that hun. We are there for ya!

 

[Snickerdoodle]

I can't say I was shocked. I can't say I wasn't warned by those smarter than me that this would happen. I guess these are my two big tests in life...a crappy marriage and a crappy colon. In all fairness, this is exactly what the big guns therapists told me would happen...now that I've prioritized taking care of myself, he is not happy that he now has to do more than just exist around here. Listen, if this wasn't a marriage that I invested 12 years in and if he wasn't the father of my children, id have told him goodbye a really long time ago. We were even seperated earlier this year...and I was exposed to what my life was going to be like without him...the state awarded me $100/week child support (for 3 kids), and I had to give up any sence of normalcy in the house with all the screwed up visitation that not only was heartbreaking for me, but too stressful and frankly unjust. Why would I sign myself up for that kind of misery and stress when my husband was begging to come home? So I let him. Now he realizes that I was serious when I told him he was coming home on two conditions...no hitting and he will be providing for the family financially. The former he's doing fine with, its the latter that has him stressed and making comments like this to me. I guess hell just have to learn to like it that he finally (at age 41) has to grow the f_ck up.
Thanks for listening and being here, guys. The Klonopin was really starting to get old...

 

[xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx]

Stay strong! And even though this is going to be easier said then done - try not to get stressed! Its only going to make you more unwell and less able to deal with things. You may have to learn to breath, blank it out and say to yourself 'I'm not even going to respond to your stupid comments because I don't want to make myself worse and it is not worth the stress'
But obviously there is only so much you can take...

 

[Terriernut]

Oh snickers (I had to shorten it sorry). Honey, what you need to do is serve up a big dose of food poisoning to him. Just a nice light dose, not enough to kill him. Then....once he's done barfing his guts out and shitting out whats left of his guts....well, you get the idea.

Then, tell him to F off cause he's FAKING it!

Sorry, but support is very important. Got rid of my first husband because of his lack of it. Frankly I'd rather have a roomate than a unsuportive spouse.

 

[SdN]

Good luck to you snickers. You don't deserve to be looked down on or treated poorly because of a disease you have no control over. Your significant other should be the one person you can turn to when everyone/everything else is against you. Maybe your husband should go talk to your GI specialist and get a good description of what you having this disease means for you.

 

[Sybil Vane]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I just wanted to send my support and ((hugs)). When you mentioned that he hated the noises you made, how would you be faking those?! I agree with SdN, and that he should go to every GI visit to understand what you're up against.

 

[Jennifer]

Holy crap I have no idea what to say. No hitting and get a job were his only conditions? My God. There's no way I could keep him around. Just now way. I just hope you and the kids will be ok.

 

[ameslouise]

Hi there Snickers (sorry, Misty has now officially branded you with your new nickname) -

I'm with Crabby. I can't even fathom your situation. Please, please, please do yourself a favor - that f****er so much as lifts a hand at you or your kids and you need to throw him out. For good. You can't be around that and your kids can't be around that.

I'm sorry, I just can't tolerate men that are such p***sies that they have to hit a woman.

Please be strong. And just to spite him, make those poopies extra stinky, 'kay?

Hugs to you - Amy

 

[Mountaingem]

So sorry you're going through this-I've been hit by a few men in my day (none were my husband). It's a total deal breaker for me-my stepdad was the worst, even had the balls to send his daughter to my house expecting us to help. Well she got thrown out on her a**.

Maybe contact a women's shelter that could direct you to lawyers and other support systems. Keep the info handy, just in case you may need it (I pray you don't, but my experience says otherwise).

Sending hugs and wishes for happier, safer days ahead, you deserve better!:hug:

 

[kllyeve]

Although for me hitting would be a total dealbreaker, I can understand how a crappy visitation schedule and stress the kids go through with that situation would lead you to try again. Divorce and seperation do not always make all problems go away, sometimes you just exchange the problems that exist now for a bunch of new problems.

Sending you hugs and hoping things get better