So a few things -
NO surgery is going to be needed. Your poor sweet boy. They don't do surgery on the SI joints for arthritis generally - even in adults! I think the best way to explain it would be to say that the doctor needs to see if his SI joints (those are the joints where the pelvis meets the spine) are inflamed. If they are, he might need different treatment to feel better.
But it will NOT be surgery. Poor little guy. My girls have had arthritis in their SI joints for 7-8 years and there has been NO surgery necessary. Same with my husband - he's had it in his SI joints since his 20s and has never needed surgery there!!
He may need a different med and it may be a biologic though - a shot or an IV. But I wouldn't tell him that necessarily till you have discussed it with the doc and gotten results.
For the IV - they can use numbing cream. That actually does help. Another trick is making sure he is well-hydrated - veins are easier to find. Using a hot pack on a vein will also make it pop up and easier to find. Buzzy is also helpful - we use that for shots but it also works well for IVs.
As for the bear - honestly, I am not sure. I don't see why not, but it depends on the hospital. I have actually gone in with my girls for many MRIs. They'll let you go as long as you don't have metal on your clothes. Some hospitals will give moms scrubs to change into. Generally I just sit in the room and they feel better knowing I'm there.
Of course, my girls are much older now and don't need that, but there have been times that they have just wanted me there.
And promising ice cream after the MRI never hurts
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My younger daughter was diagnosed with enthesitis related arthritis/juvenile spondyloarthritis at 12. She developed Crohn's as 16. Her arthritis is much worse than her Crohn's and has been her "main" issue, though the Crohn's has been problematic for the last year. My older daughter was diagnosed as a teenager but thankfully has not been diagnosed with Crohn's.
Both girls have progressed to Ankylosing Spondylitis. My husband also has it and has had it since his 20s. He has very severe AS, but we have been able to prevent a lot of joint damage for the girls because meds exist now that didn't when he was diagnosed (biologics).
So unfortunately, we have way too much experience with this disease.
My younger daughter has many chronic illnesses and has been pretty sick for the last few years. She sees her psychologist weekly in the summer/winter break and probably 1-2 times a month during the school year (she is at college, but an hour away).
It has been a HUGE help.
The other thing that has helped is meeting kids with arthritis/IBD. There are juvenile arthritis camps run by the Arthritis Foundation. CCFA also has camps (Camp Oasis) in many states for kids with IBD. There is also the Juvenile Arthritis Conference which is a 3 day event every a year. Lots of info for parents, presentations by doctors, meeting other parents and lots of fun for the kids. There is a young adult track that my girls go to now, but there are also kids' sessions for babies - 12th graders.
It really helped them not feel alone. The Arthritis Foundation also has "Family Days" that we have attended for many years. That's fun too.
Plus many hospitals have support groups too - I know our children's hospital does for IBD. We've never been to that, but I'm sure it would help.
As for my girls...well, my younger one is a work in progress. Her AS is very severe and has been hard to control. She has been on basically everything that is approved for AS and it looks like we will be trying a new, off-label biologic soon. Her experience is NOT typical - it is very far from typical - so please don't be discouraged by that.
My older daughter is doing well! She graduated from college and has been on MTX and Humira for several years. They are working quite well for her. She had a very normal and fun college experience and now works full-time. She is a happy and active young adult. Her AS is pretty well-controlled on her meds and she is able to live quite normally. She does not see a psychologist anymore, but in college she saw one every month or every two weeks for a while.
The goal would be to get the arthritis (and Crohn's) under control as soon as possible, so your son can get back to being a normal kiddo. It WILL happen. The first year is tough - the steepest learning curve - as you try and figure out which medications are the "right" ones for your child.
But once you have figured it out, then he will feel a whole lot better.