17 year old girl feeling extremely lonely

[freyja]

hi,
my name is freyja and i'm completely new to this forum/chatroom thingy but my parents suggested this.
i'm 17 and got diagnosed with crohns on the 7th of december last year (my 17th birthday!!).
basically, i thought i had his under control and had come to terms with it, turns out i really havent.
i feel so alone. none of my friends except one, who has colitis, has even made an attempt to understand the majority laughed. i know this sounds depressive and attention seeking, and trust me, id have thought exactly the same; 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' but i just can't stop thinking about how i have nobody to talk to that actually understands.
someone my age to exchange emails or something with would be mint.
thanks!
freyja x

 

[lblair]

Welcome and sorry you are having so many problems but this is the right forum you will get a lot of support from this website.

 

[freyja]

thankyou
i'd never thought about anything like this before, i'm fairly stubborn and so was hesitant to change my approach to dealing with my illness but im glad i did! hopefully il find a penpal of sorts
hope you are well x

 

[trichard10]

Being seventeen in very rough without having Crohn's. Just remember take one day at a time and tomorrow is always a new day. Hang in there I believe a cure is near. Please start following QU Biologics.

 

[jimcon24]

Hi Freyja, I've had Crohn's for 3 years and I know what you mean about no-one understanding! I've only taken an interest in Crohn's and bowel stuff since I was diagnosed, so I couldn't expect someone without IBD to understand. Its good you joined up here, its a great place for information and you will find hundreds if not thousands who understand how you feel. There seems to be a good spread of age groups too, I'm in my thirties but there is lots of young people your own age group who you can talk with.

Have you gone on medication since your diagnosis? Are your symptoms under control or are you unwell at the moment?

 

[alex_chris]

Hey Freyja, it took me many years to really fully figure out what Crohn's is about and over a decade to effectively manage it. I was diagnosed when I was 18 and didn't really tell anyone except my family and very close relationships for many years.

All I can say is that if you read a lot about Crohn's and how to manage it (every different angle from drugs to sport to diet to stress relief to deficiency management etc.) you'll lead a very normal life in some ways a much healthier life than others.

As to being depressed, many people struggle with a bit of depression when faced with Crohn's initially, it's hard to figure everythng out and most people ask "why me?" But it's the wrong question, because it doesn't lead to anything. My advice would be, next to figuring things out to manage Crohn's to generally sometimes taking a deep breath and then thinking about the positives - you're young, you live in Western Europe, you can see everything and do everything you want - Crohn's only limits you in stupid lifesty choices (getting drunk, stressed out, smoking, unhealthy food etc.).

 

[Essieluv]

Hi! I was diagnosed two years ago when I was sixteen. It was really hard, especially because none of my friends understood. They thought that once I got out of the hospital and started on some meds, I would feel better. Most of them are still like that. Some days I wonder if they think I am just being a dramatic hypochondriac. So let me tell you, I understand how you feel. And you are NOT alone. Don't let other people's ignorance or inability to believe you belittle your feelings. Living with IBD is hard, and it's completely ok to feel down about sometimes. Everyone gets like that. I just want you to know that I believe you, and I can only imagine how hard these last few months have been. But you are a strong one, and you will get through it. Keep your chin up and feel free to talk to me anytime you want. Big hugs from a fellow Crohnie girl!!!!

 

[Mehita]

Be sure to check out the teen section, freyja. This is great place for support!

 

[Shaanaleem92]

There are some nice understanding peole out there, those they dont care are bot worth your time
I was the same but in the process I know who actually cared and who are my real friends

 

[723crossroads]

amen to that! Your real friends walk in when everyone else walks out. I don't mean to sound condescending, but it seems alot of younger people today only care mainly about themselves. Find a very close friend you truly trust and confide in her or him. If it is on here, that is probably even better. We do understand and we do care and will help anyway we can. You are not alone in this! :ghug: :welcome: Teresa

 

[valleysangel92]

Hello Freyja, welcome to the forum, I hope you're finding it helpful so far! .

It sucks that your friends are so unsupportive, you deserve so much better. We all understand what this is like, my crohns was undiagnosed for a long time and a lot of my "friends" would say I was just attention seeking or spread rumors about me being anorexic. At the time I was around 16 it was so hurtful and it really made me feel miserable, but now I see it as a good thing... who needs friends like that? After a while, you'll see who you can and can't trust, and who is really worth your time.

We dont think you're an attention seeker, we know that you're going through a hard time and need some support and care, and that's what we're here to do.

Focus on you now, you're the most important thing, friends come and go, your health stays with you. Hopefully you'll make some real friends soon enough .

If you would like to you are very welcome to PM me, and I could even give you my FB or email if you wanted, so that you could chat whenever you wanted. I'm only a couple of years older than you, and have been sick since 13, so you might find you can relate to me. Also, check out the teens section, there are lots of other younger members who would be happy to chat.

 

[badbelly]

Hi Freyja (love the name btw!).

I know how hard it can be to have this kind of disease, especially since it's mostly on the inside and you might look "normal" despite awful pain, diarrhea and other symptoms. I'm glad you registered, because I think it's important to have support from people who know what you are going through and who can understand and help you. You may also look in to real life meetings and groups such as the CCFA.

Hang in there, you will find a lot of great people and information on this site!

 

[valleysangel92]

Forgot to mention, check out www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk , its full of information, advice and support for all sorts of things that you could find really useful, and if you want to become a member its reduced for younger patients and students .

 

[Daboyn8]

I went through the same thing when I was diagnosed when I was 16 years old. All the people saw at school was that I just was not there. They had no clue what was going on with me. And then when I would sit there and tell them hospital stories, all they would say was "I will never have any tubes shoved up my butt!"

But believe me, it does get a lot better. You really just have to learn to love your disease

 

[fozheart]

Welcome Freyja!

I am happy that you have joined this forum...it has made such a postitive impact on my problems, and trust me... you will not feel alone anymore! I am wondering what your treatment is now... Good luck, honey!

 

[freyja]

Hi Freyja, I've had Crohn's for 3 years and I know what you mean about no-one understanding! I've only taken an interest in Crohn's and bowel stuff since I was diagnosed, so I couldn't expect someone without IBD to understand. Its good you joined up here, its a great place for information and you will find hundreds if not thousands who understand how you feel. There seems to be a good spread of age groups too, I'm in my thirties but there is lots of young people your own age group who you can talk with.

Have you gone on medication since your diagnosis? Are your symptoms under control or are you unwell at the moment?

I was started off on prednisolone and asacol mesalazine, and I felt so much better!! (Being able to eat a Christmas dinner without being ill afterwards was a goal I'd set myself) so the steroids seemed like a god send!!! Except after coming off them I immediately relapsed and ended up on a second course within two or three weeks, unfortunately the steriods, despite the increased dosage, were no longer effective. So, after long deliberation and a very upset mother, I started Azathioprine. The combination of asacol and Azathioprine seemed to do the trick however I'm starting to feel rather crappy again, I am due all sorts of infusions though so hopefully ill get some energy after that!! Thank you for you reply

 

[freyja]

Hey Freyja, it took me many years to really fully figure out what Crohn's is about and over a decade to effectively manage it. I was diagnosed when I was 18 and didn't really tell anyone except my family and very close relationships for many years.

All I can say is that if you read a lot about Crohn's and how to manage it (every different angle from drugs to sport to diet to stress relief to deficiency management etc.) you'll lead a very normal life in some ways a much healthier life than others.

As to being depressed, many people struggle with a bit of depression when faced with Crohn's initially, it's hard to figure everythng out and most people ask "why me?" But it's the wrong question, because it doesn't lead to anything. My advice would be, next to figuring things out to manage Crohn's to generally sometimes taking a deep breath and then thinking about the positives - you're young, you live in Western Europe, you can see everything and do everything you want - Crohn's only limits you in stupid lifesty choices (getting drunk, stressed out, smoking, unhealthy food etc.).

It's strange because at first I didn't freak out but the longer I've had it the more I'm realising what it all means! Thank you for your words and it is very true about the only things that'll be limited are unimportant things. Thank you again

 

[freyja]

Hi! I was diagnosed two years ago when I was sixteen. It was really hard, especially because none of my friends understood. They thought that once I got out of the hospital and started on some meds, I would feel better. Most of them are still like that. Some days I wonder if they think I am just being a dramatic hypochondriac. So let me tell you, I understand how you feel. And you are NOT alone. Don't let other people's ignorance or inability to believe you belittle your feelings. Living with IBD is hard, and it's completely ok to feel down about sometimes. Everyone gets like that. I just want you to know that I believe you, and I can only imagine how hard these last few months have been. But you are a strong one, and you will get through it. Keep your chin up and feel free to talk to me anytime you want. Big hugs from a fellow Crohnie girl!!!!

Haha loving the ending!! My mum loves to point out that I'm a crohnie!!!! I love how positive you are and on most days I share your positivity, reading through these posts is making me so much more positive thanks sweetie!!! PM me if you want to chat

 

[freyja]

amen to that! Your real friends walk in when everyone else walks out. I don't mean to sound condescending, but it seems alot of younger people today only care mainly about themselves. Find a very close friend you truly trust and confide in her or him. If it is on here, that is probably even better. We do understand and we do care and will help anyway we can. You are not alone in this! :ghug: :welcome: Teresa

Trust me I have realised how self obsessed we can be!! Thank you so much

 

[freyja]

I went through the same thing when I was diagnosed when I was 16 years old. All the people saw at school was that I just was not there. They had no clue what was going on with me. And then when I would sit there and tell them hospital stories, all they would say was "I will never have any tubes shoved up my butt!"

But believe me, it does get a lot better. You really just have to learn to love your disease

Hahah yeah my family love reminding me about the tests!!! It's good to be able to laugh about it though, I genuinely believe it will make me a lot happier person, I guess it teaches you that ****** things happen (excuse the pun) haha but equally we've got to remember that people to through worse things thanks for your reply and PM me if you ever want to chat

 

[freyja]

Hello Freyja, welcome to the forum, I hope you're finding it helpful so far! .

It sucks that your friends are so unsupportive, you deserve so much better. We all understand what this is like, my crohns was undiagnosed for a long time and a lot of my "friends" would say I was just attention seeking or spread rumors about me being anorexic. At the time I was around 16 it was so hurtful and it really made me feel miserable, but now I see it as a good thing... who needs friends like that? After a while, you'll see who you can and can't trust, and who is really worth your time.

We dont think you're an attention seeker, we know that you're going through a hard time and need some support and care, and that's what we're here to do.

Focus on you now, you're the most important thing, friends come and go, your health stays with you. Hopefully you'll make some real friends soon enough .

If you would like to you are very welcome to PM me, and I could even give you my FB or email if you wanted, so that you could chat whenever you wanted. I'm only a couple of years older than you, and have been sick since 13, so you might find you can relate to me. Also, check out the teens section, there are lots of other younger members who would be happy to chat.

Thank you so much for this!!!! This post has really helped PM if you want to chat!

 

[freyja]

Hi Freyja (love the name btw!).

I know how hard it can be to have this kind of disease, especially since it's mostly on the inside and you might look "normal" despite awful pain, diarrhea and other symptoms. I'm glad you registered, because I think it's important to have support from people who know what you are going through and who can understand and help you. You may also look in to real life meetings and groups such as the CCFA.

Hang in there, you will find a lot of great people and information on this site!

Haha thank you, I guess I owe my parents that one!
I think that's what people find so hard to understand, that we look so normal yet feel horrific inside. I'd love to attend some meetings! Thank you

 

[freyja]

Welcome Freyja!

I am happy that you have joined this forum...it has made such a postitive impact on my problems, and trust me... you will not feel alone anymore! I am wondering what your treatment is now... Good luck, honey!

At the moment I'm on Azathioprine, asacol mesalazine and having regular iron infusions, taking various supplements including daily vitamins and frolic acid. Hope you are doing well thank you for your reply!!

 

[archaeodani]

I'm a newbie to this, and a mom of a 12 year old girl, who will be spending her 13th birthday in the hospital recovering from a blood transfusion from this..

she feels alone too = my heart goes out to you on this. I know how it feels from a parent's point of view..

:hug:

 

[rollinstone]

hi Freyja, I'd just like to reiterate that things will get better I'm 24 and was dx last year around my birthday, although I've struggled, and sometimes still struggle I think we're at a moment in time now where medicine is getting more and more advanced, although there isn't a cure atm, who's to say there won't be one soon. hope you feel better though if theres anything I can ever help w just swing me a pm.

 

[alex_chris]

At the moment I'm on Azathioprine, asacol mesalazine and having regular iron infusions, taking various supplements including daily vitamins and frolic acid. Hope you are doing well thank you for your reply!!

Freyja, be sure to also try out endurance sport. When you got problems, it's often a problem to go running for an hour or do a real workout (sweating included!), but if you are in remission, then sport really helps to keep you there.

 

[Basmah]

I got diagnosed with crohn's right after i turned 16. It really sucked because I never heard of CD before that. My friends were kind of supportive, but I really did not open up to them for fear of being a burden. It was so painfully lonely, and people would make comments on how great I looked because of how skinny I was. At the time it was horrendous, but as time goes by, you learn to embrace the crohn's (sometimes you may still curse at it). You will find the more humorous side of CD - great stories to tell and ridiculous stuff others will say to you. Especially at your age, You also learn what kind of person you are and what you want to become. It's a learning process, but you will push through this, and you have a ton of people here who will support you (just don't forget to try and open up to your friends and family as well)

 

[Guest11]

Chin up, even your favourite 'idol' goes through bad patches.

I genuinley use to feel the same around your age! But i count myself luck really because at that age Remicade worked really well so i could go out most nights and get just as sloshed as everyone else without symptoms!

But now i'm a bit older alcohol (atm) doesn't agree with my body, so when i go to gigs etc i smoke cannabis. It's the best drug for Crohn's disease without a shadow of a doubt with no side effects! If you feel left out because you can't party as hard, just have a spliff ha!

Head up, there WILL be a cure and better days!

 

[freyja]

Freyja, be sure to also try out endurance sport. When you got problems, it's often a problem to go running for an hour or do a real workout (sweating included!), but if you are in remission, then sport really helps to keep you there.

I am officially the unrealised person, but I have tried to start running. I'd really like to run a marathon to support the third world. Wish me luck guys!!!

 

[freyja]

Chin up, even your favourite 'idol' goes through bad patches.

I genuinley use to feel the same around your age! But i count myself luck really because at that age Remicade worked really well so i could go out most nights and get just as sloshed as everyone else without symptoms!

But now i'm a bit older alcohol (atm) doesn't agree with my body, so when i go to gigs etc i smoke cannabis. It's the best drug for Crohn's disease without a shadow of a doubt with no side effects! If you feel left out because you can't party as hard, just have a spliff ha!

Head up, there WILL be a cure and better days!

Hahah I love that reply!!!! :ylol2: