Aren't you bored?

[nogutsnoglory]

A friend of mine had a nose job and is complaining that after 3 days of recuperating he is bored. He had the nerve to ask me how bored I must be after multiple surgeries and recovery periods because he can't even handle 3 days of not doing anything.

I'm sorry but STFU! Your cosmetic nose job is elective and it's a minor surgery and problem you opted for. My surgeries are always weeks of pain that I dont want and I dint get the luxury of suffering from boredom because I actually am suffering from pain and misery instead.

I don't think he was being sympathetic. I think he is whining and shoving the fact that I dont have a life in my face. I haven't responded to this garbage.

 

[Orchid]

He sounds like an ignorant *******, why are you "friends" with this guy?

 

[nogutsnoglory]

More of an acquaintance really. He is an ass.

 

[If*]

Hi NGNG, i use to get annoyed with people that complained over what we might feel to be trivial. A wise older person told me don't take offense, when others complain over things, they may be doing so because it is the worst experience they have ever had. Not our worst experience but theirs.
I don't know if this will help at all, but it opened my eyes to a different way of thinking. We are all living a different experience. We must try to support each other (even when it feels trivial or annoying) The human experience of understanding is a lifelong journey.

Happy summer

 

[nogutsnoglory]

You are right If* someone else's experience might be their worst and others may look at us as not having a clue what true suffering is like. It's all relative. I guess I just feel annoyed because he knows that years of my life have been destroyed by this illness, so to tell me 3 days of having to sit at home is a problem I just don't have much sympathy.

 

[If*]

I hear you
I know it would be annoying. I think it is hard to expect people to be thoughtful. A compassionate person would say, 'i have been recovering for 3 days, i am so sorry for what you must go through' since now they have had a very small glimpse into a tid bit of recovery. They have not reached your level of experience, understanding, compassion and suffering. You think of others feelings and the one who is irritating doesn't seem to.

It can be disappointing when people are self absorbed. People can drag you down to a lower consciousness, it can often be recognized when it feels trivial, annoying and irritating.

Enjoy your first summer day, feel the grass between your toes and a little sun on your face if you are where you can.
Good vibes to you

 

[Ronald]

Assuming he's at home prior to his nose surgery, he's got it easy. Hospitals are SO much more mentally draining. I spent a lot of time in hospital when I had pneumonia, it seemed fun on day 1 (being somewhere different, having my own little TV etc.) and by the end I was tearing my hair out. I was on a children's ward too so all I heard was crying/screaming.

But I do agree, it's relative. You can only go by what you've experienced. If he'd had a long stay in hospital beforehand, he'd probably think this time recovering was a breeze.

 

[Orchid]

If only we could measure scars, develop a micrometer of the soul but each of our experiences is so unique and so difficult to share you can't really play that game. Some people can at least pretend they're capable of but it still often feels like it's not enough. Then again maybe maybe it's a good thing we can't measure scars, then there'd be pageants.

 

[worriedboy]

I know what you mean ... it's so heavy on the heart when this is what a friend got to tell you. I really had not found any way to be a gentleman in such cases, so my reaction today would probably just be to ignore with a polite "ok" or "a-ha" and end the call asap.
It's a shame to see this motive, that for so many a talk between friends is a garbage can; I mean, dont get me wrong. It's very fun to have just meaningless Seinfeld-style small talks. BUT when it comes to a "real" conversation I think there is a room to give all of you to the person you are talking to.

I dont know if that's me because of Crohns, or if I would have been such anyway, if to be honest. For me, I enjoy the most those honest little talks with friends; I would share the sadness as well as the happiness with them. I would not cancel someone's feelings or compare thier situation to mine. Even such a thought would cross mupy mind, bare with me, I would never ever say that out loud ! I would be too ashamed of myself to even think that.


Having said that, I dont count myself as such a great person at all. Dont get me wrong by mistake. But I do make an effort to give the honor and respect to others, especially if I see them as my friends.


Bottom line - move on ! Any minute you spend on thinking on it is one you will never get back