Concerns of siblings

[Catherine]

My youngest daughter a had really rocky start to high school not doing homework and taking things (at home).

This week after school interviews, we were talking about how it was a much better this year had been for her. We talked about her swimming and her sister Crohn's.

She spoke about getting up early in the morning for swimming, how she loves to go it also meant she didn't have listen to her sister scream in pain. Almost 19 months since this occurred we only had odd night here and there but three month prior to dx were horrible.

Kerry is scared she spent the last couple night listening to her sister cough.

Where as Sarah feels that she getting better should go out and party.

This reminder that Crohn's scares us as parents and we worry lot about the child with Crohn's. Are other our children worried too.

 

[Jmrogers4]

So true Catherine and it usually an odd comment or something that tips you off to how much they worry about their sibling or even having Crohns themselves.

 

[my little penguin]

Yep btdt many times over

 

[crohnsinct]

Oh my gosh Catherine! I am crying as I read this. Well, I guess the positive in all this is Sarah has a loving caring sister and you have done a great job raising an empathetic compassionate girl. I am still sad though.

On a lighter note: O's younger sister has precoscious puberty. Started her period at age 9 in August. She started school in September and I recently suggested she pack some sanitary items. She was appalled. I said, keep it in the nurses office...I don't want her to know. Keep it in your backpack...NO! Maybe it was a fluke...sure you are the first female in history that it was a fluke for. Then for the doozy..."This is all O's fault" ME: What? Her: Yeah her and her stupid Crohns. So apparently according to my daughter an extra intestinal manifestation of Crohns is your younger sibling goes through puberty at a young age!

 

[Farmwife]

Oh, what a good sister.

Yea it chokes you up.:confused2:
Grace had leg pains and right away my boy went and got the heating pad.:hug:

 

[Tesscorm]

LMAO!!! :lol:

 

[Tesscorm]

I also wanted to say, re the sibling aspect, I found that with my daughter as well when Stephen was diagnosed. She came to visit at the hospital and was her normal self there and at home, etc. but became very angry and protective when his girlfriend was telling others at school (long story but not an issue for Stephen) and friends of Stephen also told him they'd seen Emily crying at school because she was worried. And, as Jacqui said, there is also the worry that they may develop crohns... I think its easy to guess that the siblings feel they can't add to our worries so keep a lot to themselves.

 

[Catherine]

My middle daughter the ever practical one gave blood at school and told me someone has to as Sarah maybe need blood one day and she can't give herself.

 

[Clash]

Tesscorm, my daughter is the same, doesn't say much in response to any details of C's disease but is quick to defend or support when C isn't doing well.

 

[Jmrogers4]

^^^ Same here James is allowed to tease him but watch out if anybody else tries but then he has always been protective of his big brother.

 

[CrohnsKidMom]

My 8 yr old son's illness affected my 5 yr old son more than I realized. After my 8 yr old was dx'd and started feeling better with treatment, my 5 yr old asked one night at dinner when his brother was going to die. Because his brother had been so sick, he just concluded that he was dying. Still makes me cry. My dear, sweet boys.

 

[Ands]

J's brother is nearly 10 and although to many he is a mature, happy go lucky child, I know he finds it hard. Particularly the mental changes in his brother. He has asked many a time if J will ever be normal? He goes and shuts himself in his room if J is 'on one' and try's not to listen. He becomes overly good and nice to me which is lovely but I do so worry about him too.

Xxxx

 

[DustyKat]

I often wondered how Sarah's illness and then diagnosis affected Matt. I would ask him and get the non committal shoulder shrug and grunt.

Sarah has only had one mega meltdown in 7 years and during this that she questioned why her life had to be so awful and not Matt's. The worst thing about that was when Matt was diagnosed she was devastated and she brought that up to me...words said in anger and despair...my heart broke for her that she was thinking it.

Is there anything good to come out of having two kids with Crohn's? They have each other, it has brought them much closer and they each have someone in their lives that truly understands what it is to have Crohn's.

Probably not the right thread for my musings except that they are siblings! :lol:

Dusty. :Flower:

 

[momoftwinboys]

I saw below. Here is the start of it.... If you want to read more

http://www.parentprojectmd.org/site...stand_family_siblings_jack&printer_friendly=1


When Jack Fell Down...Jill Came Tumbling After: Siblings in the Web of Illness and Disability

Abstract

This article examines the reactions of children to the complex illness and disability of their brothers and sisters. It proposes strategies of nursing support to increase the likelihood that these children will cope with the resultant family stress in a positive manner. In order to better understand their feelings, siblings of hospitalized children were interviewed and comments from other siblings who responded on a Web site, "Band-Aides and Blackboards: When Chronic Illness...or Some Other Medical Problem...Goes to School" were included. Themes were identified from this data and a distinction made between those suggesting stress and those that suggest resilience. Quotes from children are used to depict these themes; stress (responsibility, loneliness/resentment, fear, jealousy, guilt, sadness, embarrassment, and confusion) and resilience (lessons learned, independence, altruism). Because the nature of the sibling bond is a critical variable in contextualizing how siblings are affected by illness, it is defined and examined through the lens of socialization. Finally, strategies of intervention are suggested as clinical implications that lend themselves to the acronym SIBS: Support, Information, Balance, and Sensitivity.
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FIGURE The nursery rhyme "Jack and Jill" provides a useful metaphoric lens to better understand the complexity of sibling issues surrounding the illness or disability of a family member. Nine-year-old "Jeffrey" writes for many brothers and sisters when he articulates his jealousy and resentment in this letter to his mother. He writes of feelings that are too often a painful part of the process of coping with a sibling's illness.
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"Dear Mom, Tonight Dad was telling me how hard it was when Trudy was in the hospital. He doesn't think it was hard for me at all. I missed you. I saw her get all these presents. I saw everyone visiting her and babying her, and there was nothing I could do about it. Sometimes I feel so alone and left out and even unloved. I know I'm overreacting, and I know that some people have so much less than me, but it's not my fault I don't have any medical problems. I wish I did!

Love, Jeffrey"

"Jeffrey's" letter serves as a reminder to nurses that siblings of children with complex medical problems have frustrations and fears, and is a reminder that the illness of one family member affects each family member. When we care for children with serious illnesses in our fast-paced health care system, Jeffrey's plea to his mother reminds us to slow down, reach out, and extend the borders of our concern. The note implores us to design strategies that address the needs of those children affected by the health problems of their sisters and brothers.

This article examines the responses of siblings to complex illness and disability, and offers a thematic distinction between the stresses they experience and the competencies they acquire. It cautions that when Jack falls down through no fault of Jill's, she may nonetheless tumble in the aftermath. As a sibling living in the web of illness, she might either incur emotional scars or develop protective calluses as a result of her experience.

The rest of the article is pretty good.