Crhons making sex difficult. Need HELP!

[Jennifer]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now and he's known about my crohns the whole time and it hasn't been an issue until now.

We haven't been having sex as often because I usually brush off his advances because I'm not in the mood for various reasons. But one of the main reasons is because I feel like I have to go to the bathroom quite often. It's rare for me to not have D but for some reason its been more frequent lately (I've already have a scope done and it was normal). My problems are both physical and mental. Physical because its uncomfortable to have sex while you need or feel you need to go to the bathroom. And it's mental because I'm afraid that I might have an accident during which would kill the mood and future moods.

I told him about some of this in a text (cause he's at work) just now because I know that communication is important in a relationship but I know that he isn't going to know what to do about it. I don't even know what to do about it.

Do any of you have this problem? If so, how do you get around it?

 

[Rob]

Hav you ever tried lomotil or imodium??

Perhaps taking some of these before may help as they might slow your bowel down an help you not feel like goin to the toilet, which would help put you at ease, an possibly relax you enough to enjoy it

just an idea

 

[Jennifer]

Those aren't things you should be taking daily if you have crohns. I really don't want to treat this like men having to take a pill just to get it up and having to wait for it to start working. I'm only 28. There has to be something other than pills.

Edit: It would ruin the mood if I were ever asked, "have you taken your pill?" Pill for what, oh my D! Ya I'm not in the mood anymore...

 

[BWS1982]

I've talked at length about sex life/couples-female-male libido before here and I'd rather not get too much into that once again, but on the Lomotil/Loperamide thing, it depends on your IBD, some people can have it "indefinitely" and be alright, I think it's dependent on doctor discretion. It's bad to take it all the time if it will just keep your waste lingering around the ulcerated tissue, as you want that to just pass and let the tissue rest, but some of us benefit more still by slowing things down. I had 2 GI's that said watch my intake of that if I'm doing badly, and I had 3 that said they see no problem with it if it helps me, as it's more mild that the Rx stuff they're throwing at the problem. It's not a cure, it's a bandaid, but if it helps in general (not just for bedroom life), it could be something to ask about if you haven't (maybe you've already been told no).

On the timing of it ruining the moods, the peak time for such meds is perhaps an hour or two after taking it, so if you take it when something "might" happen, you either have an easier time with intimacy or an easier time doing other things, and both sound like wins if you're able to take anti-spasmodic meds regularly.

 

[Rob]

Bananas can sometimes bind a bit with done people

but I find takin one or two imodium tablets in the morning usually slows things up enough for me to get out the house an do my shopping etc without fear

as said above there not the worst medication around, quite mild in comparison to other drugs around

I only use it if I'm feelin bit worse than normal and need to ho somewhere ie shops or drs etc

 

[kenny]

I hope you can get your symptoms under control better Crabby. I don't really feel like there is anything wrong with me at this point and I really hope it stays that way, but I would think that if you can feel better all the rest will fall into place.

 

[xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx]

I had this problem a lot with my ex.
I think a massive part of it is confidence. Like I would be scared so tense up, and almost as soon as he went in I would feel the need! We found that it worked well if he was behind. Then I could just jump forward to get out if I needed to. Also if he went in and started off rly slow it was nice.
I think in a way it caused problems (its not y we broke up) because I would always feel so useless and I would always cry and that wasn't nice for him. But it wasnt all the time and things would get better again.
But in recent times looking back I think he was a rly sex orientated guy, like pretty much as soon as I got to his house he wanted to be in bed with me. I didnt rly think much of it coz he was my first boyfriend. And even though he was always fine if we had to stop, I might not have felt as much like I needed to if he wasn't like that.
Anyway I've ranted a bit! Sorry I didnt rly answer the question! Gave u a few tips and a few experiences!
Hope things work out for you and you feel better soon!
x x x x

 

[kello82]

crabby do you have ANY times where you feel totally empty? you know what i mean? i remember that feeling of constantly having to go, i remember it very well, but i also relished the times when i had just gone 43948104 times and was so totally empty i got a break for a while.

if this is the case for you, and happens at a convienient time maybe kind of force yourself into the mood you know? talk to your bf about it and tell him that youre gonna need help getting in the mood when you really are just exhausted, but at least you dont have that urgency in those times.
maybe that will make him feel good that you are willing to put in that work for him and to have sex when you dont want to you know? i can see that being helpful to your emotional bond at least?

i hope it works out for ya though, your bf does sound like an understanding guy and that is good. though undetrstanding and acceptance are far different, as we all know.

 

[Jennifer]

I told him about it and he doesn't have a problem if I were to have an accident. I had a dream that it happened on his leg and I told him about it and he just laughed. He said it wouldn't ruin future moods for him.

I have been doing what's been suggested such as avoiding positions that make the feeling of urgency worse (which for me is any position that puts pressure on the rectum) and have been trying to force myself to get into the mood when my body is feeling alright. The other day he said, "you got in the mood real fast suddenly." You complaining?

I guess I came in here to ask what others do cause I was getting tired of doing other things. Thanks for the replies.

 

[crushingcrohns]

Are you open to try herbal supplements? If so, I know an anti-diarrhea that will be helpful. I have the runs constantly, so if it worked for me, it prob will be successful for you too.

It's by the brand that makes IntestiNEW called RENEW LIFE - The digestive Care Company. I think it's called Diarrhea Stop or something. If you have a homeopathic organic health store, you can find it there hopefully. If not, it's available online i'm sure.

The main helpful ingredient is a clay. & yes, it does work.

Good luck