Crohn's and relationships

[zHassanz]

Just before I start this is making me really depressed and I just don't know what to do.

Basically, I'm starting to be in a relationship with a girl, whom I met a month ago. She's a nice girl and we have real good time together, and I really want this to be the real thing. Anyway, just a couple of days ago, she asked me to go get a cup of coffee with her and of course I can't drink that, so I just said I don't like coffee and she was like OK no problem, but I felt like I'm lying to her because I didn't tell her about my illness.

I'm not even sure if I did the right thing, but out of the blue I just told here that I have Crohn's and she was like no big deal, but recently, I feel that the way we are together is not the same as it used to be.

I hate being sick, and it almost cost me losing my job, and now I think it's getting in my way of forming a relationship, just like any other human being.

I don't know what to do now.

 

[HannahR]

I remember trying to hide things about my illness when I first got into a relationship with my boyfriend. And let me tell you, it makes things 100 times harder than just telling the truth and being open and honest. Maybe you could sit down and talk with her and let her know how you feel, often times your partner wants to just hear the truth. If you have a great connection don't let this be a barrier in getting closer! It really is worth it to open up and makes things so much easier. I hope the best for you!

 

[Pilgrim]

Maybe she doesn't really understand what Crohn's means and your symptoms and treatment. When people don't understand, then what they imagine is way off track.

 

[The Real MC]

There's going to be a point where you can't hide the disease and she is going to have to know. Better that she is not upset because you tried to hide it or keep her from knowing.

If she leaves the relationship because of the disease then she was poor relationship material.

 

[ronroush7]

Amen

 

[MizzSarah]

Be honest and give her an opportunity to educate herself. If you don't--eventually something will clue in that there is an issue and it may be hard to repair your relationship after that.

 

[cjjey]

You can find new one. Don't afraid to make changes.

 

[Lintel]

Everyone has someone who loves them for who they are.
Keep up that search, but don't dismiss her- allow her to voice her feelings to you. It can be difficult having a partner with Crohn's but each struggle makes you stronger together.
Be honest from the outset- some people might run a mile... they are not the right person for you. Chin up my friend when the going gets tough, the tough get going

 

[user 413287]

When I was in middle school I tried to hide it then when I got in high school I got sick of doing that so I told everyone and most had no clue what crohns was and didn't want to know or just figured I was faking to get out of doing stuff.After I graduated I started working at a job and met a girl I instantly hit it off with I told her I had crohns and she kinda blew it off saying she knew what it was about 4 or 5 months in to dating I got hospitalized with a pretty bad flare,C-Diff and a couple abscesses and I was in the hospital for 5 weeks then the day I got out still sick but insurance wouldn't pay anymore she freaked out on me for not taking her out on a date that night because I've been laying in bed for a month doing nothing and if I didn't like her don't use crohns as an excuse....so that was the end of that relationship and most of my other relationships have been about the same I'm not a fan of needless drama and I'm very honest with the women I've dated and they usually create drama for no reason and think there's a secret hidden meaning to everything I say instead of listening to what I say.So I find myself happier when I'm not in a relationship.