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Walt

Walt

Joined
Mar 15, 2010
Messages
496
Location
Canada
Good Day All,
As I've been running back and forth all day between my pc and my toilet,
it occurs to me that hmmm.......

perhaps Crohn's is NOT as much fun, as they made it sound in the brochure?

Boy, somebody l-i-e-d to me!
What kind of slick sales pitch could have sold me this c-r-a-p-p-y disease?

Anyone care to share their pet Pro-Crohn's disease advertisements?
Your thoughts welcome...
be well as you can be
Walt
:D
 
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crohn's, if you don't have it... you probably don't 'get it'

(exception granted for caregivers of IBD'ers)
 
Trying to lose weight? Then you'll love Crohn's!***


***Offer good in all 50 U.S. states and in every country on earth. Offer valid for humans as well as pets. Weight loss not guaranteed. Side effects may include weight loss, weight gain, explosive diarrhea, constipation, bleeding from where the sun don't shine, depression, insomnia, pain, pain, did I mention pain, mucus coming from places other than your nose, joint pain, abdominal pain, back pain, migraines, pain, fatigue, weakness, light-headedness, oh and pain. Absolutely no returns, refunds, or exchanges.
 
When you have Crohn's everybody hates your GUTS, including yourself.
 
Hate nightmares well wake up to nightmare on Crohns Street garenteed to be night sweating and trying to make it to the toilet for the worst nightmare of your life
 
Crohns Disease... we go through explosive painful bloody diareah, lose weight no appetite, can eat baby food where people think we are total nutters, holding our tummys like we have been shot, waking up at night time like we have just jumped into a bath, palpitations, back pain, joint pain, have chipmunk cheeks on pred, have our own bag full of medication we take. [I]Crohns disease Because we're worth it [/I]
 
I can't think of any slogans, but I can sure think of a lot of jingles:

Night Sweats (to the tune of Bob Seger's "Night Moves")
Tangled up in Poo (to Dylan's "Tangled up in Blue")
Blood in My Toilet (to Mellencamp's "Blood on the Scarecrow")
Vomit, Poop and Cankers (to Zevon's "Lawyers, Guns and Money")
Everynight I Shi*t the Bed (to Elvis Costello's "Everyday I write the book")

Please, somebody stop me!
 
pants that I crapped in due to trying to find a bathroom $25.00
shirt that I threw up on because I was sick to my stomach $15.00

Finding a cure for this illness: PRICELESS

Until then, there's a copay or a high deductible. IBD is a pain in the @SS.
No pun intended.
 
I love these! I needed the humor today. I guess this is the only place in which we can say that we hate each others guts and still be friends. Those rotten guts!!!
 
Want to see more of your new bathroom . . . then give Crohns a try!
Guaranteed to have you admiring the new suite from all angles!
 
crohns the disease the tidy bowl man even hates....

crohns the gift you just keep passing

want a surgeon to know you inside out? get crohns
 
OMG! I'm SHI*&&ING myself with laughing...............
Really...except I cant anymore cause I have a bag! Not soo funny, but hey!
Misty
 
'Beanz Meanz Crohnz'

'Crohns - because life's complicated enough'

'I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Poops!'

'Du pain, du vomit, du basin'

'Thank Crohnie it's Friday!'

'Fluent in flatulance' Barclays

'Have a break, have a Kit Krap!

'Are you a Crohns Fruit & Nut case?'

'Snap, Crackle, Poop!'

'And all because the Lady loves her Pred!'
 
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I've been pondering a new tattoo in honor of my daughter and her Crohn's disease. I am planning to get it on, or around, my right hip. I am reading these posts and cracking up because I have been trying to think of the "perfect" saying for the tattoo...I just may have to use one of these !
Would anyone happen to have and idea of an appropriate "picture" to go along w/ a saying? And no thx...I won't be tattooing a toilet on my hip ! haha :)
Thanks for the good laugh here !
 
for those who have the ostomy bag--Thank God I'm Fartless (TGIF)

It will be 25 years on 4/7 for me that I haven't cut wind. WOW!! Seems like yesterday I was going under the knife to save my life.
 
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Crohnies don't take crap from anybody

OOPS!!! I farted again.

The little fanny that could. I think I can, I think I can (go that is)

Ostomates are so full of it (their bags are.....get it??)

Crohns disease.....A good reason to NOT eat my veggies

IBD---Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS!!!
 
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Crohn's: We do 'more' before breakfast, than most people do all day!

(including tons of 'paperwork')
:p

[Michele, argue your limitations and you get to keep them! you ARE creative :D]
 
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Okay, okay, I get it. I promise, no more "not creative" remarks! Biting sarcasm is more my baliwick! :ybiggrin:
 
This thread is getting to be just as funny as 'You might have Crohn's if....'
Teeeehhhehheeeee!!!
Misty
(that thread gave me a hernia by the way)
 
Thanks for the laughs.

Not really a slogan but when my GI told me I fell in this category she said...
"It's so managable these days."

I'm sorry but my Aunt and I laugh (sarcastically) together because her brain cancer was cured but they can't get rid of my hemmies? Really??? Brain cancer seems way harder to me. I don't think they tell those patients it's sooo managable.
 
New abdominal and butt workout - shit and vomit at the sametime - the ulimate internal workout - crohns will do it for you!

Do you need a new pin cushion? Take methotrexate for your crohns and your belly becomes are portable pin cushion.
 
My hubby thought of a bad one. He works for the Department of Homeland Security, the TSA, an American Government Law Enforcement Agency. Most of us are familiar with the phrase, "Weapons of mass destruction." Scott claims that CD sufferers have weapons of a$$ destruction. He's bad!
 
LOL I am sitting here in the hospital & reading these funny sayings. I want to thank everyone for making me laugh for the fist time since I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago & then landing myself in the hospital. You guys are so funny!
 
crohns, it'll knock the crap out of you

hate corn? Try crohns, the new excuse to not eat your vegtables ;)

crohns disease, for when you just need a day off

I'll tell you what I never appreciated having a bathroom in my bedroom until now, and Ii never appreciated two bathrooms before now either lol
 
My CD....plays the most embarrassing sounds ever.

All the vomiting has given me a 6-pack (of Ensure).

I wish anorexic models and crystal meth users would stop stealing my "look".
 
Someone needs to dig up the 'you might have crohn's if' thread as well. Darned if I can find it. But....I do believe it was single handedly responsible for my wonking big hernia I laughed so hard! (and cried)
Misty
 
Need an excuse to keep buying new clothes? Try Crohn's Disease! No one will ever ask you to stop.
 
I have accepted that I will look like a Keebler's, "Giggle Cookie," for most of my adult life.
 
Boy, thanks to everyone for the laughs!

Crohn’s Promotes Literacy! And with all the free waiting room magazines, you’ll save money, too!
(Disclaimer: not responsible for difficulty in reading above mentioned literature due to issues of germophobia or prednisone-brain syndrome)
 
Happy New Year!

needed a laugh, came back to add one more:

Crohn's: not just a disease, but a context within which we live!
and live we shall!!!


bump for others
 

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